he cheated on me.. would cheating on him would make me passive about what he did.. i just want the pain to be gone.
2006-09-21 04:12:49 · 51 answers · asked by addiee 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he cheated on me with a hooker.. cant forget about it.
2006-09-21 04:31:26 · update #1
Dee, stop! take a deep breath, I know that your heart is breaking, and it feels like this is a good of an answer to your troubles as any but it's not! It might feel good and be exciting, but in the long run you will be hurting yourself. Plus with all the crap you can catch out there it's not safe! So, please don't hurt yourself anymore than he has by his cheating.
The pain will lessen in time, and you will live survive this. It may not seem so right now, but you can and you will. Don't let this ruin your life, he's not worth it! You deserve more, and now is time for decisions not causing more pain, especially to yourself.
What do you really want to do? Do want to keep your marriage? Do you want to call it quits? Your marriage can survive an affair, it's a lot of hard work on both of you. He's going to have to willing to be on a leash, and you are going to have to forgive him. You won't ever be allowed to throw this up in his face again, and you are going to have to learn to trust him again. If you can honestly do this, and he's willing to earn your trust and love again-then it's possible to have not only a healthy loving marriage, but a happy one as well.
If he's not sorry for what he did, and not wanting to do what needs to be done to salvage your marriage, then kick him to the curb, and don't look back! You can live without him, and you can be happy again, maybe even happier than you have ever been before! Don't please don't let this ruin you! Pull yourself up from this pit of hell, and make something positive out of it. When life gives you crappy lemons then make some lemonaide out them, just remember to add the sugar! There is life after this most painful betrayal, it's up to you to make the most of it. And you can do it!
God bless us all...................
2006-09-21 04:26:39 · answer #1 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No - this won't help. Besides - it would encourage him (men think different) to cheat again.
Besides - the person you would cheat with might fall in love with you and so on. You could create a whole new chain of pain in someone else.
Better - find out why he cheated. Does he need more sex? Is he looking for adventure? Is he looking for anything he does not get from you but you could learn and then offer? Is it just because he is young and did not experiment enough before marriage?
Some men are just "cheaters" - they still can be good fathers and husbands in the sense of that the family is always first for them. They cheat with women they would never consider as partner, just as playmates. Perhaps your man is in that category?
Although it is worth to take a look if he is otherwise a really good husband and man I strongly believe that it is better to separate. If he cheated once he may do it again. Besides you hurting a lot by this it is in these days also pretty dangerous (STDs). Therefore if I would be you I would file for a divorce.
Sorry.
2006-09-21 04:22:13 · answer #2 · answered by spaceskating_girl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He what cheating on you with hooker??? damn, you very beautiful woman and I don't understand why would he want to do that? what does that Hooker have that you don't have??? UMMM. also, if he want something new and something different he should told you what he want and try news things.. seem you would like to try new things only with your husband.
The truth is that cheating on your husband will not solved the plm what if you did and he found out and then he would do the same thing and too much mess smile. and I do hope that you tell him how you feel and tell him if happen again it over or simple want the pain to be gone leave him. find other guy that really care about you...
2006-09-21 05:45:18 · answer #3 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating on him would only confuse your feelings & emotions even more and would be sure fire way of your marriage ending in divorce. The pain will take a long time to go away - i know i am still suffering!! Is this the first time he has cheated on you? Anyone can be forgiven for one mistake but it will never be forgotton. I hope you can be strong on this and see it through. Talking to your husband would be a better way rather than having an affair yourself - good luck
2006-09-21 04:22:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Two wrongs do not make a right. To cheat on him is stooping to his level. Besides, if you really cheated on him, who would it make feel better. It only adds more pain and misery to an already miserable situation. He has destroyed the most valuable thing a married couple have and that is trust. Stick to your values and don't let this situation ruin something in you that you can't ever get back by cheating.
2006-09-21 04:18:01 · answer #5 · answered by blackwidow 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Two wrongs aren't going to make it right honey. Cheating is only going to bring you more pain and guilt. Yes, your husband did a terrible thing, yes, you are hurt...with good reason, but it's okay sweetie. Only time can heal that kind of a wound. If you want the pain to go away, find the reason the affair happened. The mind can calm the heart with logic. I've been in your shoes. It took me three years to fully come to terms with everything and all that it changed for us. Don't rush it. If you put it behind you too quickly now, it's only going to resurface later. I wish you well.
2006-09-21 04:19:29 · answer #6 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, by cheating on him will not make the pain go away. Only time will heal the pain. I know because I have been there and believe me it took time to get over the pain. Besides two wrongs will never make it right. Try to forgive him and move on with your marriage. If you can't forgive him on your own, you might need to go into marriage counseling to at least find out why this happen and how to prevent it in the future.
2006-09-21 04:17:35 · answer #7 · answered by kitcat 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey Dee! I read you other questions where you've said that your husband is worried about HIV. Does that means he didn't wore a condom??? With a hooker!!! Come on! A lot men right after cheating have sex with their wives so they wouldn't suspect anything. Did he had sex with you after her?? If he did that means getting away with his infidelity means more to him than your HEALTH. You need a better man!!!! Good luck sweetie!
2006-09-21 11:58:04 · answer #8 · answered by Belladonna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same thing happen to me. It is one of the hardest thing that one must go through. If you are willing to stay and try to work things out cheating in return is not a good idea. I recommend this site. The book itself cost $50.00 but well worth the money.
http://www.relationshipgold.com/Affairs/cheatingspouse.htm
2006-09-21 04:35:12 · answer #9 · answered by imflexable2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my wife cheated on me so I went right out and cheated myself and let her know that I did. Did it fix anything? NO. But I did feel slightly less the schmuck.
Good luck
2006-09-21 04:34:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋