How Do I Make Her Take A BIG CHILL PILL???

Question

My good friend of 7 years and I had a petty fight last weekend - both PMSing and I thought she was being nit picky and petty about little stuff when we were planning a cottage weekend away. So we had a yelling fight and I told her she was getting on my nerves and stuff like that and she cried alot and even that made me mad - she made it into a big drama and I told her this during the fight...so now the weekend is over and she's still upset. I think life is too short to dwell or focus on petty stuff. She's sooking and making it into a bid ordeal. She's "hurt and confused". So, today I sent her a letter to say we've been friends for a long time and don't let this small stuff affect us. Soo...now do I leave her alone or cater to her woes of being "very hurt and confused"? This is such a thorn in my side as I have a sm baby and am working on my university degree and this is just peanuts in the big scheme of things. Do I ignore her or keep talking (wish she would take a chill pill)?

Answer 1

The one thing conspicuously missing from your post is any mention of the words, "I'm sorry," coming from you.

It sounds like you acted like a jerk and have now decided that she just needs to get over it without ever admitting that you acted like a jerk and were sorry for it.

Seven years of history doesn't mean you don't have to acknowledge when you've hurt another person. You said some pretty rude things to her, and you obviously hurt her. Just because YOU wouldn't have been hurt doesn't mean your behavior wasn't hurtful to her. Everyone reacts differently.

I'm not too sensitive to what people say, but my best friend cringes at the idea that she's done anything to offend anyone and easily gets hurt when she thinks someone is mad at her. She's a great friend. I'm actually sorry when she's hurt, and it would never cross my mind to just want her to chill.

You don't sound like all that great a friend right now.