she only calls him on the weekends when we have his daughter and also asks him if he can help her pay one of her bills, but she already has a bf of her own!!! what should i do and have asked her not to be calling asking for money, my bf pays child support they take it out of his check. can some one give me advice about his baby's mama please!!
2006-09-21 03:40:34 · 22 answers · asked by mustangsweetthing 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Here is some good advice.
Get a brand new boyfriend without a child and an ex-girlfriend who is a pest.
This situation is never going to go away as they share a child....and will forever share that child. If you don't like the ex-girlfriend now,...it sure AIN'T gonna improve in the future!
2006-09-21 03:44:08 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure this is irritating to you and more so to your boyfriend. It may be that before you came along, he did help her out with her bills. If so, then changing the system on account of you being in the picture, means that she could see you as a liability to her and her child.
If he has never helped her with her bills, then it is somewhat strange that she is still asking. The bills are probably related to the care of the child - rent, heat etc. and therefore, it would be odd for her to ask her new boyfriend for the money.
Phone calls are often made from the parent who does not have the child. There are two ways to handle this. One is to set a time for those calls to occur. Another is to tell the parent that you will initiate the call at a given time, so her daughter can talk with her. You can also ask her to call only your cell phone and screen the calls.
2006-09-21 03:54:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is a toughie...but not really. The first thing is this, his baby mama will always be around nothing you can do about that. They have a child that they have to raise together...which(not to sound mean) has nothing to do with you. Now if he pays child support fine, obviously he didn't want to though because if he did him and the baby mama would've worked something out between the two of them...having money taken out of his check is basically unvoluntary paying of child support. You shouldn't be getting in the middle of all that. If she's asking him for money for a bill, let him deal with that. It's up to him, to tell her yes or no. Raising a child alone is not easy and he should help out if he can. Now if she's asking him to pay a bill like a cell phone, or something that doesn't benefit the well being of the child then no she doesn't need to be asking him that. Personally I think that she doesn't need to be asking him for anything. If he has to have money taken out of his check to take care of his own child then that should tell her something right there. She needs to be independent and take care of her financial situation on her own so she don't have confuse things in his life with you.
2006-09-21 03:49:50 · answer #3 · answered by myzznetta 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm married, my husband has a daughter in which he pays child support for, it comes out of his check.......the rule is his daughter's mother is not to ask for anything extra.......he has made that very clear to her so she doesn't ask....your bf has absolutely no business helping her with her bills, that's her bf job...remember its child support not adult support.....my husband's daughter mom is very respectful and I have absolutely no problems with her. Actually when she does call we talk, sometimes hrs at a time,.... .....notice i never called her his baby's mama because she doesn't act like one....i think that its important for you to lay some ground rules, if you plan on being in a long term relationship with him,,,,,I think that its OK to have a talk with her, just be mature about the matter...good luck
2006-09-21 03:57:40 · answer #4 · answered by nxmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has a problem with it to then u r allowed to persue legal action. Dads have a lot of rights now.
The child support he pays in a month....she has to be able to prove that every single cent goes towards the child.
Food, clothes, nappies ect.
She has to be able to give u reciepts. If theres anything on te reciept for her then u can do a lot of damage with legal action.
Its new law to protect the single dad. Quite good if u ask me.
He doesnt have to pay her bills for her unless they have an agreement of that on paper.
Speak to your man and get his side of the story if u havnt already. There is a lot u can do like say no. She cant keep the child from him unless she can prove the child is unsafe, unhappy and exposed to a bad environment (like uncleanliness, exposed wires and plugs, u fight infront of the child, swearing/smoking in front of the child) If u dont do anything harmful and u treat the child as your own when the child comes and visits although it is not your responsibility u have nothing to worry about.
Sort the crap out.
2006-09-21 03:49:48 · answer #5 · answered by chanD 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If child support is being taken out of check already then he shouldn't be helping her with her bills. That what child support is for. I would understand if he was buying his child things extra or paying for something his child wants that is extra like sports or dance class then that is okay. But I don't think he should be paying her bills, it's not his job anymore. His obligation should be to the child not the mom. Good Luck!
2006-09-21 03:47:01 · answer #6 · answered by ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only responsibility your boyfriend has is to his daughter. The only thing he should be talking about with his ex is their daughter. It is not his job to pay her bills. She receives child support and that's it. If he wants to buy extra for his daughter that is his perogative. Unplug the phone, or don't answer when she calls. She does not have the right to be disruptive and expect anything except what's been court ordered. There need to be clear definitions made to her about what is acceptable and what is not and those need to come from HIM. It is not acceptable for her to consistently call and request money, it is not acceptable for her to intrude on the time he has with his daughter, he will not be responsible for her bills, etc. I wish you the best!
2006-09-21 03:55:14 · answer #7 · answered by serenadepoms 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, she has every right to call b/c it's THEIR daughter. They share the responsibility. Also, if he pays child support she has no right to beg for money. That's what the child support is for. Especially if the bill isn't anything to do with the child.
2006-09-21 04:20:50 · answer #8 · answered by wendylynn1009 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't think u should be giving her money if he is already supporting his child, however if she calls to talk about concerns with the child that's reasonable as i believe it's best for the child to have parents that get along. i have a stepdaughter and me and my partner have been together for 7 yrs, it wasn't easy to talk to my daughters mum for a long time but now we talk more than her and my partner about our girl. i think u need to talk to her and voice yr concerns she may understand and then again she might fly off the handle but anything is worth a try, good luck i hope it all works out.
2006-09-21 03:50:24 · answer #9 · answered by mandiej81 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm interested in this
2016-08-08 15:32:27 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋