I have been with my husband for 10 years. We have been married 7. We have 2 kids together. The first 8 years we was together he did nothing but cheat and do very hurtfull things to me. Now, I have forgivin him and in the last 2 years he has completelly changed his life around, BUT I still cant forget. Is it fair to either one of us to still be together if I cant forget what he has done? I have a lot of hatered towards him. It affects our relationship and our kids. Is there reallly any way to forget? PLEASE HELP!!!!
2006-09-21 03:31:51 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No you will never forget. But what I am confused about is if you forgave him and it has been good for the last two years why then are you stewing over it. To forgive someone you put the issues aside and move on. Yes he did hurt you and yes he cheated on you but he has changed right? Instead of stewing over it still put that into a different thought. He still loves me. He has done alot of changing to make it better. I love him dearly and enough to start over. I know it is hard but if you couldn't stop blaming him you shouldn't of forgave him. Good luck to you and your family.
2006-09-21 03:40:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how you put up with it for 8 years?
You have not forgiven him or you wouldn't be so angry.
You have stayed with him through the worst. I would think that it is getting better. If it isn't then leave.
You will never forget & you will always have some anger but maybe with cousling you could get past it.
Give yourself some time to heal also it will be slow so don't expect it to be gone all at once.
Take 1 day at a time, baby steps, most of all don't feel guilty because you have hatered for him at times, he is the 1 who made you that way, He is also the 1 that needs to help you get over it.
2006-09-21 03:59:10 · answer #2 · answered by Emptiness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down with yourself and make a list of the good times and the bad and then make a list of the reasons you want to stay and the reasons you want to leave and see which one dominates the other. There is hope for your marriage but that's something you have to decide, and I must add that with the good comes the bad. Think about do you really want to have to start the process of finding someone all over again and possibly get hurt again. Think about do he really love you and do you really love him. Think about your kids. At the end of the day you are the one that would have to live with him so make your decision wisely and pray about it and take it one day at a time. I hope that everything goes well and no matter what decision you make, keep your head held HIGH. Good Luck and God Bless. I hope that this helped:)
2006-09-21 03:41:37 · answer #3 · answered by loveable 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, when someone do something hurtful, you can never forget it, you just have to live with the pain, or just not to think about it, I know it's easier said than done, but all the situations are in the past, you should enjoy what you have now, and the rest that had happened was history, you can't change anything in the past. You can only live with it, and deal with it, when it comes back. Try not to think about it too much, just think of the present and the future. The past is what you have to build the relationship stronger.
2006-09-21 03:37:01 · answer #4 · answered by superboredom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hanging on to the anger and resentment will end up ruining your marriage. Is your marriage worth saving?
Then you have to learn to let go of the past...that is what it is...past! You say he has changed, so why do you find it so hard to forgive him and forget what he has done?
Be thankful for the changes he has made....look at the beautiful children you have together...count your blessings...not your woes.
Talk to someone you trust about your feelings, get the anger out.....write your feelings down on paper and then without re-reading it, tear the paper(s) up into tiny pieces and throw them away...trust me, this act will make you feel better.
I hope you will find a way to let go of the anger and hurt, and be able to move foward in your relationship. It is no bed of roses being a single mom!
2006-09-21 03:41:53 · answer #5 · answered by shortfrog 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well unfortunately this is one of those "Easier said than done " things
so forgive my appearance of being misunderstanding sounding.
But, If your husband has cheated and you don't forget, that is acceptable.It sounds o me as if you have not gained forgiveness and /OR trust in him again. If you have committed to making the marriage work even after his cheating I'm afraid it is now your responsibility to get over these issues.otherwise he will be constantly punished and you will most definitely destroy any hopes...know the difference between his issues and your own.has he handled his issues and is now true to you?..only you can come to this answer..
good luck
and
god bless
2006-09-21 03:42:07 · answer #6 · answered by JEM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u can't forget it and it's affecting yr children then i think u need to make the decision to move on. otherwise wipe the slate clean and give him his second chance. and no i don't think it's fair to either of u and especially yr kids to stay together if u can;t come to a decision. it's not going to be easy but i think u need to sit down talk about it and decide what to do, best of luck whatever yr choice may be.
2006-09-21 03:58:57 · answer #7 · answered by mandiej81 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...i'm not a shrink, but for what it's worth?,...i don't beleive you'll ever be able to "forget" how he mistreated and cheated on you, and i don't think you should!,...i think what you should consider is "forgiving",...if you still love him?, and if he really has changed for the better?,...then forgiving could bring "you" some peace...
2006-09-21 03:43:11 · answer #8 · answered by tiny dancer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you guys should try marriage counseling, it might help more than you think. Good Luck.
2006-09-21 03:34:36 · answer #9 · answered by ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make a choice love him or leave him
2006-09-21 03:41:14 · answer #10 · answered by BIG WILLIE THE GEORGIA TITIAN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋