In the society she behaves like a normal person, but my husband and I know, that she is lying to everybody about her life, about her "dramatic" first marriage, that ended 30 years ago, about her health,her "sufferings", telling to everyone slightly different stories about the same story, always exagerating,but believable ones,but with all the necessary details. She also begins to cry, while telling her life-story (which is, I repeat, a lie).
Above this, she tries to control everybody, is more than very dominant, and if you don't do what she says, she becomes the devil, becomes like a crazy person, yelling at you in a horrible manner.
When you confront her with her lies, she just says, it's not true, she didn't say anything like that.
Also, she is rich, but never gives you anything unconditionally. Only if you play by her rules.
When i will have children, I am afraid, leaving them alone with her.How do you handle such a person? How can we make her stop?
2006-09-21 03:26:03 · 12 answers · asked by charmed 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is not a sign of paranoia. This is a compulsive liar. And a control freak.
Are you only sticking by her because she is rich? Shame on you. You should stand up for your principles, and stop spending time with her. Tell her that you can no longer deal with her lies.
Then when you have kids, DON'T ever leave them with her. You know what she is capable of, so it would be wrong to subject innocent children to her lies.
2006-09-21 04:00:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Big B's suggestion to get her in church. But this is only part of the answer.
She needs serious psychological help. You and your husband should tell her in a loving way that you care about her and are afraid she is in the process of alienating everybody she knows, including both of you.
Tell her you want to help her change but she has to agree to help herself first. Ask her to put herself in the other person's shoes in these scenarios and ask her if she would enjoy being the other person in them or would choose to withdraw from the situation and not deal with her.
If she objects to all this (from what you describe, I suspect she will), then tell her that your marriage and the well-being of future children you may have will always come first to the two of you and that if she persists in these behaviors, it may impact your feelings on exposing your children to this. I suspect she will probably also have a cow here, but after some thought, maybe she will do what she needs to do.
Your husband is a key here. He has to be strong and not allow her to bully and intimidate him (and you). If he is a wimp and refuses to go down this road, you are going to have serious problems in your marriage. What that means for you, I don't know.
2006-09-21 10:33:52 · answer #2 · answered by lmnop 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Humans always pride themselves to be a higher species because of their ability to think and make decisions. In my opinion, the ability to think is starting to get in the way of our lives. Because people think, and everyone think differently, quarrels and fights are started. Because people think, their school essays get discredited; students are not supposed to think, they are supposed to 'think' like people of the past who had written some books or some form of evidence and include those in the essays. Because people think, those who don't think have to conform to the ideas of the former. Because people think, they cannot come to a decision about some things and it will always be there, never-ending, never gonna be solved. Because people think. Too much in fact. Wouldn't it be good if everyone just do things without thinking too much? Go for it. On impulse. On instinct. Would that make things better? Look what has all the thinking done to us. Yes, we have the technology, the entertainment and everything else which people of the past did not have but we no longer have the simplicity in people. I'm not saying that people in the past did not think but they were smarter. They don't think so much. What's the point of thinking so much and still no conclusion and decision could be made? Doesn't that make you feel worse?
Bottomline: we think too much. Don't k. To whoever this is applicable to.
2006-09-21 10:27:53 · answer #3 · answered by Princess illusion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well actually she sounds like she is too far gone with her lies and crazy behavior. I say that she needs help from a specialist and need to spend ours on that little couch telling someone the true story about herself. You just need to be careful around her and don't let her trick you into believing her lies. Good Luck:)
2006-09-21 10:31:57 · answer #4 · answered by loveable 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First was she always like this? If not, did something dramatic happen to her, to bring on this behavior? Something is wrong somewhere. I suggest getting a professional involved.....You and your husband cannot make her stop lying on your own
2006-09-21 10:31:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't resond to her accusations without disrespecting her. Change the subject state that purpose and move on. These types of people need attention -- if there isn't any --- they wont have room to lie.
2006-09-21 10:30:01 · answer #6 · answered by Tired of lies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't...sorry. She is who she is and she is the way she is. All you can do is accept this of her. ...or don't...your choice..
Just know you are not able to change her.only she can do such a thing..
sorry..
good luck
2006-09-21 10:32:02 · answer #7 · answered by JEM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find her a husband or a bf and get rid of her once and for all.
2006-09-21 10:29:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have her checked out tell her shes going to be checked out for "her sufferings"
2006-09-21 10:28:48 · answer #9 · answered by J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smack her or use a shock collar.
2006-09-21 10:27:35 · answer #10 · answered by John C 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋