Just over a year ago a man at work sent an email to my wife, what he wants to marry her, if she becomes available. She did not answer him, but during this year once mentioned that to me. I did not take it seriously. She stayed with two kids at home, one was newborn, I was working, sometimes too much. Just before going back to work, we had big fight, her mother was visiting, and she made it way worse... I had to ask m-in law to leave. On first day at work that man asked my wife how's everything. She complained.
He started writing love letters to her. She would reply neutral sometimes. For 2 months we were ready to divorce every day. For years before we had just perfect marriage.
He asked her for sex. She refused, but offered a lunch. He insisted. She never show up. He called her b***, they broke up. I found out by accident a week later. She was extremely ashamed of herself, asked me not to call him or his wife, and forget it. Looks like she is truly sorry. What is better to do?
2006-09-21 03:10:08 · 25 answers · asked by Nickolas99 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Outsider's can and do come into our marital lives and sometimes they wreak havoc upon us...but it sounds like you have a chance to make this work. There is something wrong here, to be sure, and I'd get a little more attentive to my marriage. All relationships take work, being taken for granted, as we often are, can make "opportunists" such as the other guy in this scenario attractive, if you follow my meaning. This is a warning sign, treat it as such, don't panic, but do get some honest, open communication going. This can strengthen your marriage or tear it apart. Start talking, now would be a good time. And btw, every marriage has it's dark moments, but look at them as a way to create an even stronger foundation, instead of a "failure" of some type. And your wife is equally as culpable and responsible for her end of the commitment. Now, get busy talking, everything else will happen naturally. And congrats on your new baby, I know it's been awhile, but remember, a new person has been added to your family...that takes adjustments for everybody. I wish you luck and Peace.
2006-09-21 03:20:41 · answer #1 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most woman really appreciate attention on some level, regardless of how happy their marriage is. Is she telling you the truth to hurt you or to come clean? If the latter, than maybe a 2nd chance is in order. The shame may have been enough to teach her a lessen about dancing on the edge of an affair. Make sure to look at all the other issues in the relationship. If 2 people are truly each others best friends, cheating becomes impossible.
2006-09-21 03:16:52 · answer #2 · answered by jody s 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would drop it. Let her know how bad this has made you feel, get it all out at once, because you don't want to bring it up again. No, she did not have a sexual affair with him, but she did have an emotional affair, which is worse. However, she was getting something from him that you were not giving her. Women need to feel like they're loved, need and appreciated. I also had a slip up a year ago. My husband was not the man that I fell in love with and I had come to hate him. Someone else gave me what I needed. I hate myself for letting someone else give it to me, but I can't change that. All I can do is make sure that it doesn't happen again. And that's all she can do. She won't slip up again.
2006-09-21 03:29:33 · answer #3 · answered by jdecorse25 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be happy, your wife didnt do anything wrong it was the guy, trying to get into her life when things were wrong between you, she didnt act on anything, not even lunch...think about it.she never had an affair, she never did anything to call an affair so just be happy she stayed with you and work on your marriage.you have two children and maybe you working too much didnt help. maybe take her out and spoil her every now and again, sometimes staying home with children is hard, and a full time job... try it it will be worth it if you can stay together.
Good Luck!
2006-09-21 03:19:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to give your wife more security. Inside, every woman would rather have their man more than fine things. You would rather provide for her then be there physically, so she had an affair. SHE WANTS YOU!!! Cut down on your work hours man. I don't care what you are going to say. YOU MUST! Unless you really want a divorce, your wife wants some quality time with you. Even if she is remorseful completely, who says she wont do it again if you do not give her more attention. Give her more attention and forgive her if she is truly sorry, but if you do, PLEASE spend more time with her! It's your only chance to keep her.
2006-09-21 03:16:24 · answer #5 · answered by +TheEndIsInSight+ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like it was more of an "emotional affair" rather than a sexual one. Still hard to deal with, but if she is truly sorry and you can forgive her and forget it... Then move on..
If not, make the call... Maybe see a marriage counselor, You sound like you really love your wife, but if its gonna cause trust issues later on... If you dont really address the situation fully and completely and put it in the past for good, it will cause problems later in the marriage.....
2006-09-21 03:18:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your wife replied with neutrality to his love letters, refused to have sex with him, and didn't even go to lunch with the guy. She did nothing wrong, so I am confused as to what she is sorry for. What is better to do? Say, "Thank you for remaining faithful to me, even through all the hard times we have had. I love you and I hope we can stay married forever."
2006-09-21 03:15:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like she did anything wrong really. She answered his emails and declarations nuetrally, gave him no real encouragement, and refused to have sex with him. All she's guilty of is agreeing to meet him for lunch and then not going. This isn't an affair. Nothing happened and they weren't really "together". So I don't see why you are upset.
2006-09-21 03:22:02 · answer #8 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She did not have an affair she never met the man outside of emails and she never slept with him get over it before you loose a good woman
2006-09-21 03:43:08 · answer #9 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my questions is that why did she do that if she married to you and she need not to do that with a guy she work with. so, and in law should be back out of this.
Tell her I don't trust you still for what you did to me for 2 months and How in the world would I ever trust you again? Why do I have a gut feeling that it will or might happen again?? I don't know if I can do this...... you had lost my trust on you 110% period.
2006-09-21 03:40:22 · answer #10 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋