In continutaion with my previous question ..to decide between my separated husband and my married friend.?
My husband could never understand me.For last 06 months my friend has been witnessing all my problems and has been trying to get me back in the marraige and we have discussed our marriage problems also.Its just that whenever i am in problem caused by my husband..he comes around to help me.My husband has been physical and has done everything to hurt me.He has kept my son with him also .He threw me out our house and claims that his house.My husband wants to wait and watch and then decide about the marriage after 01 yr.I dont my status of marriage.My friend is trying his best to settle me down.I have no job ,no family and no money.He has been supporting me in getting a job.He is so genuine as a person that anybody can fall for him and so have I.I found everything in him ,which was lacking in my husband.He also loves his daughter and says we would have as good couple if we met before.I can say his marriage is OK .He does has his share of fights and then regrets his mariage.He says he love
To decide upon my separated husband and my new friend?
My husband has opted for separation and i have a friend who just stands by me all the time.He is also married but at the same time claims that he loves me.I am emotinally dependent on him.He calls me up everyday and talks to me and declares his love also.At the same time also maintains that he loves his wife.Do i trust him.He always help me whenevr i need it.I too care for him but dont wanna break his family.I have also not decided what to do with my broken marriage.My husband refuses to talk to me.He also has my son with hi
i need help to decide upon my marriage?
I had been married to my husband for last 8 yrs.It was an love marriage.He is 11 yrs older to me.He also happens to be 2 time divorcee.2 yrs back we had fightes and he broke my hand and took me to police station and just behaved like a creep.He threw me out and kept my son with him.I stayed with my parents.He never bothered about me and also started legal case against me.I didnt react to it as i never wanted to take up any legal case and bring my son to court.After 6 months on my Brother in laws insistence i statrted sending him mails and he then asked me to join him bak.I did that and reasoned out that i will get bak my son.Also sincee he was moving out from his parents house ,my in laws problems was also waived off.Two yrs later he has again come bak to my in laws city and i started working.He was without ajob.H estarted fighting with me and to larger extent it was my MIL's hand in that.He again started becoming physical.He one day called up my boss on pretext of meeting him.
2006-09-21 03:05:39 · 18 answers · asked by 2467 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
look what i think is that your husband is very rude to you. he not deserve to be a husband. he is letting all his frustrations on you about his faillure in life.
where as about your friend, i think it will be better that he will remain your friend. don't let him take advantage of your current situation. as he is having family too, so it is not good for his familly too, related to his external affair.
life is not small, you might got more opportunity in it. yes, you must fight for your right related to your child.
2006-09-21 06:52:45 · answer #1 · answered by maddy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whatever!...Your vows come first. If questioning them in such a thorough and justifiable manner I'd have to say to you;
End your commitment...But don't forget the responsibility to dissolve the once meant vows comes before you decide on anyone or anything other than those vows. They were and still are your first priority.
End it because of you and the one you made vows with and leave all others out of the equation. There was nobody in the equation when you made your vows there should be the same fairness when you decide to dissolve those vows. What happens after this ...is not something you should involve during the decisions that affect more than yourself...The only other that you should be considering is the other you vowed to .Sorry but this is quite simple.Your explanations are in all actuality attempted justifies to your actions that do not differ from the way you have been hurt yourself. Its not just fair for your spouse by the way..but yourself. Don't make decisions about your marriage based on comparison to some other..Its unfair to everyone ...Know you are deciding for both you and your husbands best interest. eliminate other compared individuals.
you will benefit this way much more...trust me
2006-09-21 03:27:35 · answer #2 · answered by JEM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To the first part of your question!
If your husband is physical in the relationship, "GET OUT" it wont change.
To the second part regarding your friend.
This is very complicated. Are you only compensating for the void in your marriage or do you truly feel love?
If this is rebound its not only your family that feels turmoil, you are now extending it to another family as well.
My advice, friendship and support is OK but only with the knowledge of his wife as well. If she feels you are intruding the cat fight will be vicious and you will lose the friend quickly.
Do not become intimate with your friend as it changes everything.
Get a job, become self supportive, find your self esteem build it to the point that you don't need anyone other than yourself and then find someone who genuinely cares for you and your children.
If time passes and your friend and you do truly feel love then make the commitment.
Going from one mistake and jumping into another is only going to further the complications and set you back even further into achieving happiness and tranquility.
2006-09-21 03:25:23 · answer #3 · answered by r g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r in a mess.decide a course for ur life and be self-suficient.u might be vulnerable at this stage.its good that u have a friend who supports u in every way.my sincere advice is not too think too much about ur current relationship and keep it the way it is.give it some more time.enjoy everything thats good about it.it seems u thinking on settling down with him but has he ever come up with that kind of a proposal??and u never ever take a move on that.2ndly make ur happiness ur priority.do whatever gives u happiness.if u wanna leave ur husband,leave him.y r u thinking so much.its not working for u so y r u stuck on this?ask urself what u want.make up ur mind and start working on it.all the best.take care.
2006-09-21 03:35:03 · answer #4 · answered by S S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear sister,
I read your story and felt sorry. I don't know who are you but I know certainly that you are also one of my affectionate sisters.
Let me be frank.... I don't know whether you believe in past birth or not ...but in your case PAST BIRTH CURSE is playing a leading role!! You would have read the law of- Every Action Has Its Equal And Opposite Reactions-Accordingly, How ever you are suffering today is the reactions of the act that you had committed in your previous birth!!
There is no escape, if you go behind any new guy, then you will face new problems therefore my suggestion is:::___
Kneel Down In Front Of God, Accept Your Previous Birth Arrogance...Pray For Betterment In This Birth, Cry For Your Previous Birth Sin; Accept The Punishment Life And Discharge Them Politely.. Don't Try to Escape The Punishment Life.. Confess Before Him...Beg Before Him To Pardon You For Your Own Sins Committed In The Previous Birth...May Be ...HE May Heed And Save You From YOUR Present Problems!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-21 03:38:05 · answer #5 · answered by NUPAKRY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ask, "Do I trust him?" But, trust him to do or not do what? Or, do you mean, can you believe what he says? If that's the case, and he says he loves you, what cause do you have to doubt? When he says he loves his wife, what he surely means is that he is not going to leave her for you. Nonetheless, it sounds like a very good friendship, and a friend can certainly love a friend. If you mean you think you need to choose between your husband and your friend, that makes no sense; you are married to your husband but your new friend is married to someone else and is not going to leave her.
If my spouse separated from me and took my child away, I would do everything in my power to get my child back. It's hard for me to imagine a mother who would not.
2006-09-21 03:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont deceive urself.both men r no good.ur married friend just want to keep u.harsh as it may sound its the truth.the sooner u accept it the sooner u'll be able to make a decision.dont have any illusions that he'll divorce his wife and marry u.its highly unlikely.at the most he may ask u to be his second wife unknown to the world.both men r equally unworthy.why do u want to choose between the devil and the deep sea?get rid of both of them and try to get a new life if u respect urself as a woman.
2006-09-21 05:17:55 · answer #7 · answered by archie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear ish,
i can understand the emotional confusion in your life.from what you have written , looks like you are getting into another relationship on the bounce.this is bit hasty , also your friend who is your complete support has declared that his wife is his first priority.Take it from me do not mess up your only support, become financially independant, respect your friend and think about his family what they will have to undergo if your friend breaks up with his family because of you.society will not blame him they will blame you - irony of indian society.take time relax, join vipassna meditation classes as soon as possible, ask what you want from life , have short term and long term professional and family goals.Do not get into another relationship and feel guilty and worse.time to go within you , do early morning meditation - it will help you reorganize your life.get in touch with your old friends and family members and build your support system and "tum besahara ho to kisi ka sahara bano, tumko apne aap hi sahara mil jayega"
wishing you good luck , take care
s9consulting
2006-09-21 03:31:24 · answer #8 · answered by s9consulting 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have to question your relationship with your husband you shouldn't be with him...and if he hurts you physically even emotionally you shouldn't be with him....you should never question the well being of yourself or your child..as a mother you should do what you should do to protect yourself and your child...I'm sure your friend is doing what he can to help you..he see's you in pain and is trying to be a good friend and help you get out of that situation...but your too busy trying to decide who you should be with..your husband or your friend who is also married..sounds like a lot of drama and ur seeking the attention your husband won't give you...instead of askin who you should be with..why don't you sit down and ask yourself what are you doing to yourself and your child...I think you should worry about the child...get out of the situation you are in and go take care of your child
2006-09-21 03:18:59 · answer #9 · answered by mouseymom24 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As for marriage, try to salvage it for your son. There is nothing worse for a kid than growing up with separated lone parent. Be it father or mother. If you cant, then take it up as challenge and fight for the custody of your son.
As regards your friend, he is a friend and should know his boundary. By changing his friendship to love, he is going to cause more prblms for yourself and himself. If your relationship gets serious and physical with him, it is going to spoil not only your life but his life as well as his family's life.
2006-09-21 04:16:46 · answer #10 · answered by NjoyCricket 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋