You found a note writen to your fiance from his/her lover on your mail in your house. After all is said and done, you kick your fiance out. When the ex gets a new place, the lover moves in. After a few months, your ex realizes it was a big mistake and wants to get the family back together. As a Christian, you forgive but don't forget. And the kids are missing their other parent really bad. You still love your ex, but you don't want to get hurt or mislead the kids into thinking they willl have their family back together. What do you do?
2006-09-21 02:47:40 · 21 answers · asked by Marmek1210 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Having my kids was a blessing after being told I would never have any. I was in no rush to get marrried. Being a Christian doesn't mean that you never do wrong. But it does mean that you larn to forgive and not to judge.
2006-09-21 03:20:56 · update #1
I don't think that anyone else in the whole entire world could answer this question for you. Similarly, I don't think that I could say what i would do unless i was actually in that situation. You need to decide if you can truly forgive him and if you trust him enough to let him back into your life and your heart. I know its tough with the kids - I am also reconciling with my daughters father right now and he is moving in next week - but ultimately what they want is for you to be happy. A reconciled relationship will never work if you cannot let go of your anger and hurt and start anew , however, so you really need to think of that. I would take some time to become friends again before moving on to anything else!!
Good luck and God Bless
2006-09-21 02:54:32 · answer #1 · answered by SunnySmile83 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's a tough decision to make because you have kids involved. I personally would not take him back. After all, he only realized it was a mistake when things with his "lover" didn't workout. I understand your children are missing their father. But do you want to teach them that it is ok to disrespect the people you love? Your ex does not respect you. He though he could lead this double life and you would be too dumb to figure it out. He's wrong. If he cheated on you and once you kicked him out, he made repents... then I would take him back. But he left you and went straight into the home of his 'lover'. That's a slap in the face. That meant that you are replaceable!!! YOU"RE NOT!!! You are the mother of his children!! You guys exchanged vows and he did NOT honor those vows. He is disrespectful and should not be given the privilege to have you back. He should have rights and visitations with his children. And for the sake of your children you guys need to be civilized to each other. You need to remember to only say nice things about your ex to your kids. They are out a parent in the house but they do not need to be showered in negativity.
2006-09-21 09:56:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater. I think it will hurt the kids more to have the spouce come back than later on down the road relize its still not what he/she wants. Its best to be seprate. Do family things together but I wouldnt let dad/mom mover ight back in and have the kids think everything is "normal"
2006-09-21 09:50:45 · answer #3 · answered by BOOTS! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well what makes you think he won't do it again? besides he disrespected you and if you don't let him know that he will walk all over you. He needs to realize what he did and I don't think you should make it so easy for him to just come back into your lives even if the kids miss him. YOu need to teach your kids that people no matter who they are should respect you. You sound like you are desperate and have no self esteem or respect. what he did was wrong...and he needs to face the consequences. Christian or not does it matter? think about it. you are letting him not pay for what he did. that's foolish.
2006-09-21 09:56:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing is to have an extra marital affair, and admit its a mistake try to move beyond the guilt and shame and gain trust again. This is a huge challenge in itself. To have him move out and move in with her and then realize, "Oh I made a mistake" take me back. "NOT EVEN MAYBE"!
This deceit will weigh heavily on your mind and emotions as well as your spiritual beliefs. I don't think you will ever move on to any form of tranquility. Let him go, and move on!
2006-09-21 10:04:07 · answer #5 · answered by r g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you should ask yourself this question: Do you still love him? If you still love him, I would try to work it out, for the entire family's sake, not just for the kids. If you do love him, then I would suggest talking to him about what happened, ask him why he did it, and have an open dialogue. Then I would sign up for counseling. Perhaps he is afraid of commitment, perhaps there is some other underlying problem.
2006-09-21 09:51:23 · answer #6 · answered by poeticjustice 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to realize that if you let him/her back in you will be prepairing yourself for it to happen again. Cut your losses and move on. Your children will miss him/her now but will not have a revolving door of him/her at home and then gone... also remember what kind of example was set for your children do you want them to do this in their future relationships?
2006-09-21 09:50:36 · answer #7 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
put a chastity belt on them and a GPS too.
But seriously, that is a hard situation. I would want to be bitter but you've been burned before, so be very careful about allowing that person back into your life. If they do it a second time, kick their butt and tell them to go away.
2006-09-21 09:50:37 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer L 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thinking of it like a play - i am sitting in the front row!
no matter what you do is gonna be bloddy entertaining and full of drama and consequences
*eating popcorn* *crunch* and *red gummy bears* *chew*
i am waiting for the third act to see what happens - you are the author - i have know clue what will happen or what should happen - go for it Shakespeare!!!
2006-09-21 10:02:32 · answer #9 · answered by zigzagidiot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you love him & have forgiven him, I would! For the sake of the children! I know it will always be in the back of your head he cheated, but, maybe he won't do it again.It will take a while to trust him again, but it will be for the best! And continue to pray, God is always there to listen! Good Luck! :)
2006-09-21 09:53:01 · answer #10 · answered by hippiechic35 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋