I have a man of about 7 years and a best friend of 8 years.My best friend does anything 4 me.When I come home from a hard day of work and need to vent he is there 2 listen and give me advice,whether its going 2 an audition,hospital,anything he has been there.Sometimes when I am so upset and he sees he gets sick to his stomach.He loves me so much and I know it.The thing is he does not know I have a boyfriend.I am scared 2 tell him because of fear of losing him.I love my boyfriend and am attracted to him but when I come home and need 2 talk he is not interested like my best friend is.We dont have as much fun together as I do with my best friend.My man and I are complete opposites and my best friend and I are exactly the same and if anyone will ever be there for me it would be my best friend.What do I do? Do I stay with a man who I love & am scared of losing out of fear of being alone?My best friend is the ideal man but I dont love him that way & wish I did. What do I do? besides confess
2006-09-21 02:45:50 · 16 answers · asked by SxyPR 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
I am afraid of staying with a man who I'm just with because I love him and am scared of not having him in my life. But in the future we will be bored and I need someone to be there for me emotionally also and he is not the one. I am afraid of making a mistake with my best friend. I dont love him that way and he is successful, and has a good heart and will make a great husband and father someday. I may regret it
2006-09-21 02:47:09 · update #1
I am attracted to my best friend BUT I dont look at him that way. Its like we are brother and sister. I am going to confess but not sure if I am making a mistake with whom I should pursue a life with
2006-09-21 02:55:29 · update #2
He thinks I am single that's why and I have lied this long of a time!!! And I have to confess cause I deal with it anymore. If he knew I had a boyfriend he would be hurt. HE says he doesn't want to be with anyone for the rest of his life but me
2006-09-21 03:00:16 · update #3
You have a man who understands and empathizes with you, why do you want to ruin that with someone who doesn't. Exciting doesn't last very long while compatible does.
2006-09-21 02:57:15 · answer #1 · answered by karen wonderful 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is your best friend like you say well then he is only your friend so why would he get upset if you told him you had a boyfriend he shouldnt since he is only your friend what it is your feeling guilty because you have feelings for your friend and I believe love him even if you say you dont not in that way but only because you dont want to ruin your relationship I say tell him that you have a boyfriend and see how a reacts if he doesnt want to be your friend its either cuz he is hurt cuz he liked you or more or because he wasnt a real friend in the first place if you dont feel like your boyfriend is the one well then stop wasting your and his time let him go find someone that will be the one for him dont be selfish and hang on to him if you know its not gonna work as for your friend if you really dont love him well then tell him you love him and care very deeply for him but not in that way so that he can also move on and stop thinking that he has a chance with you becuz if you just get with him because he is a good person and not cuz you love him your always gonna be questioning yourself with is it cuz i love him or because he is caring so I say dont waste either of their time and continue to be both thier friends but move on and find you someone who is the one and who is also caring unless you do secretly love your friend then go for it with him cuz he sounds great but still confess.
2006-09-21 03:04:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you want to have your cake and eat it, too. There is no simple answer except to get rid of both of them and see if you can make it by yourself. Neither of them deserve to be in a relationship with a person who is emotionally detatched or not attracted.
If the 'other guy' is truly your best friend and cares about you so much and knows everything about you, then you'd think he'd know that you have a boyfriend by now. Wouldn't he?
Tell your boyfriend you're not getting what you need from him, and stop leading this other guy on letting him think he has a chance with you when you are already taken. Why would you do that to someone?
2006-09-21 02:52:22 · answer #3 · answered by Crapcleanwrestler 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi, you obviously care alot about your friend and maybe the reason you don't love him in "that way" is because you have never thought of it. If you told him about your man would he leave and not be your friend anymore?? Maybe u shud have a think about how hurt you would be if your friend did leave n u cudnt tlk 2 him as much. U wud feel so lonely not having his thoughts and him caring about you, yeah sure you'd still have the fit bloke that ur obviously very attracted to but you don't seem to have any sort of emotional connection with him!!
Which would hurt more if u didn't have them? ur bloke or ur best mate??
Maybe the feelings towards your friend would come if you let ur guard down a bit!
2006-09-21 02:57:49 · answer #4 · answered by Sam 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the same situation I'm in - except I'm the best friend, and I know about the boyfriend. I don't understand why you haven't told them about each other. Why would your best friend change if he knew you had a boyfriend?
2006-09-21 02:58:57 · answer #5 · answered by tgypoi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your best friend ever ask you out then let him know about the other guy. If not then I would keep quiet until the time as to reveal my man so I don't lose either of them.
2006-09-21 02:56:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it that your not attracted to the best friend? It sounds like he is an ideal man for you. As we get older, a companion to have similar interests and understanding in life is the ticket. It sounds like your best friend truly cares about all of you.
2006-09-21 02:52:27 · answer #7 · answered by kite 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you answered your own question. Your "best friend" is the one you really love, you just don't want to. I know. I've been there. You just said he does everything for you, flip side, bf does not. etc, etc. How can you not love a man who shows you all this affection, attention and love?? Try learning to love him and get rid of the other guy. You won't be alone, because your friend is with you. Try it.
2006-09-21 02:52:00 · answer #8 · answered by blondee 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a lady friend who found a lover. I am so happy for her. In true friendship there is no place for jealousy. In every persons heart and life there is enough room for both friends and lovers and each plays a different part , Be glad that you have found both
2006-09-21 03:03:58 · answer #9 · answered by mindtelepathy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I mostly agree with Tracy. You are being unfair to both of these men just to cover your own butt. You should talk to both of them about the situation and be completely honest. However it works out is how it was supposed to work out.
2006-09-21 03:01:20 · answer #10 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋