OK, here is a brief 411! My husband abandoned me and his two infant boys to go live with his long time mistress. He left us with no money and no food. WE also lost our place to live. While he was living with us (his family) I wasn't aloud to work and he couldn't hold down a job. He was gone 4 to 5 days out of the week to hang out with his friends. I had no money for bus fare (car was broken down) so me and the boys could never really get out to go anywhere. So, me and the boys stayed at home, watched TV, barely had any food, and had major cabin fever! My question is, should I feel guilty that the same thing is happening to him? I moved to Texas to live with my mom, I had no where else to go with my two boys. He is still in Utah with barely any food, no money for bus fare to go out, and is going stir crazy at his mistress's home. This has never helped me financially to help support ither of his kids!
2006-09-21 02:21:24 · 44 answers · asked by pregyfrog 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YOU have 2 boys to worry about, the big one can take care of himself as it seems he's been doing for quite awhile now
Onward and upward sister don't look back
2006-09-21 02:28:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth would you feel guilty? The man broke his marriage vows, slept with another woman repeatedly under your nose, and didn't care enough to support his own family! Now the poor baby is stir crazy at his MISTRESS' HOUSE! Are you kidding? Anyone who could turn their back on two infants to party with friends and hang out at the mistress' house is a complete loser and YOU should be tickled pink to be rid of him! I think that what goes around comes around and he is obviously getting his. Stay at your Mom's, pull yourself together emotionally for your own sake, not to mention your kids, and file for a divorce. Your children need at least one parent to look out for their well-being and that would be you. Get a job and start on the path to creating a life for yourself. Save up a few dollars each week to put aside for emergencies and you'll start to feel a little more in control of your own life and not be so dependant on the whims of a total jack-***. This will take a while to accomplish but remember that there are others who have walked down the same path as well. They did it and so can you. Be smart and if the creep tries to get back with you, tell him that if he wants another doormat, go buy one!
2006-09-21 02:40:17 · answer #2 · answered by sunnygirl1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that you're that dumb that you need a bunch of strangers to tell you that you shouldn't feel guilty. Are you? If you are empathizing with this man, then you are indeed a better person than me. At least he lives in Utah, now...far away from you where it is accepted to have as many mistresses as he wants. Ew. Make sure that you have a court order to get the support you need if and when he ever finds/holds down a job.
2006-09-21 02:32:59 · answer #3 · answered by Crapcleanwrestler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be grateful to your mother for helping you. Wow. You'll probably have to forget about your husband, unfortunately. File for divorce so it's legal on paper and get on with your life. You've got two wonderful children to love and take care of, and a mother who is willing and able to help, evidently. That makes it easier for you to get a job. Do you have transportation there where you live in Texas? If not, I'd work on getting to a place you can walk easily to work or get on the bus easily. Try not to let the employers see your mode of transport till you have a car coz so many are kinda bad about not hiring people who are just starting out and don't have their own reliable transportation.
Yeah, leave that bum in Utah and start fresh for yourself and the boys. I will pray for you.
2006-09-21 02:25:32 · answer #4 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go look into a mirror while you looking slap yourself so you can knock some sence into you
why should you care let alone feel guilty, his need are no longer your business but his mistress
do yourself a favor get a divorce send it to him via mail at his mistress home
it would not have matter so much that he left you (and beleive me it matter) but to left his children that is not forgivable at all
You move on with your life and make something out of it for you and your children from now on think of him as a sperm donnor
2006-09-21 03:58:24 · answer #5 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do - don`t get involved with another man. Regardless of what anyone tells you. Your husband`s image is imprinted on you and the fruit there off are the boys. Getting entangled into another affair, just classify yourself worse off than what he done - an adulterer.
It might just happen that God change his heart and he seeks sincere restoration. You must keep yourself available and clean even if you don`t sleep with him again... only when he dies, you are free to re-marry.
God is only testing you, to see if you can keep your vows ...
God is mighty enough to support all your needs, if you rely on Him.
You might find yourself better off, living single anyway ...
I,m Talking of experience ...
Stay with your mom and do the best for the kids.
2006-09-21 02:54:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One you should not feel guilty, you should have left him along time ago. Two go talk to a phycoligist, you have a serious self asteeme issues. wemon are not door matts, and breeding machines. You are equeal with men, you are co creators in one of the most beatiful things ever, human life. You have equeal oppertunity to make life special wether you chose mother hood or a career. Be happy that you know have a oppertunity to raise sons who respect wemon and dont step on them like they are crap. please see a docter and get help so that you can have a better life for your sons and you. And no i am not gay and I am a married man with a beautiful daughter who i am raising to be independant and free, as all wemon should be. good luck to you and your boys.
2006-09-21 02:44:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um, no. You should not feel guilty. He sounds like a deadbeat, and you are better off without him. Just remember that you can do something with your life, and get back on your feet. You are better than that I am sure. Get a job and forget about that loser. Just remember, he abandoned the 2 most important things in the world. He deserves what he gets.
2006-09-21 02:24:45 · answer #8 · answered by misscongeniality711 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about. You are doing what's right for you and your boys. He abandoned you when you needed him and you know what, the bible says, "You reap what you sow" and that's the true philosophy that people don't think about when they do their dirt and hurt people. He is just getting his payback for what he did to you. God is taking care of you and your boys now and you should feel proud because you are a good mother and you put your kids' needs before your own. I think you deserve a standing ovation. Good luck and stay in good spirits.
2006-09-21 03:00:36 · answer #9 · answered by thefuturemrscena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should you feel guilty. the guy is a bum. Any man who leaves his wife and children is not a man. he is a wrom. Worms eat dirt. Let him eat dirt. Take care of your children the best you can. Don't worry about the worm, step over him.
...By the way, visit your local family court to take custody of your own children to prevent him from stopping by one day to claim them. Also, in case the worm ever finds a job, the courts can levy him for child support. Take care of yourself.
2006-09-21 03:44:11 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. Grudge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋