my husband and i have been marrried since 1991. we have 9 children all together. we have been living apart for almost 5 years due to drug abuse and constant fighting over "a friend" of his. she is a stripper that started of in 1996 as his friends girlfriend she has since been with hecka other men my husband denied knowing this person for years but would always vanish for days or weeks on end he would stay in hotels. we would fight over this girl all the time cuz i would find message at our place of business from her and phone records etc. as far as i know he has never had a physical affair with her. people tell me that there is no way she would be with him in that way. the thing is he has always pushed me to the side in tears and desperate to know the trueth just to talk to her or help her out with taxes etc. he doesn't tell anyone that we are still very close in fact he tells people he wants nothiong to do with me he denies me and flaunts her when he can
2006-09-21 02:20:52 · 16 answers · asked by TERILYN S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good Lord Dear... Get a divorce and claim your dignity. Good luck to you and God bless!
2006-09-21 02:24:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Experience leads me to believe the 9 children are not totally the biological children of you and your so-called husband, that is, someone else besides both of you is the parent of some of them or all of them. If this is the case, you have less of a reason than 9 children to stay with such a selfish person.
Of course, you two are married only legally, all other marriage considerations are gone, maybe never have been. I imagine you have said to him you will give him a chance to stop this and do right. If you haven't, you should say this to him one time, believe it or not 'out of fairness', that is, everyone deserves an opportunity to correct their wrongdoings. He probably has had many and doesn't care to change. Anyway, give him one if you already haven't (and only if you previously haven't), and if you do make sure it has an end time, that is, don't leave the opportunity open to him - he might take a few years to decide. With all the selfish things he does, give him a very short deciding time, like one week, then let him be a lost cause in your life.
You don't need to tell him what will happen if he doesn't stop his many wrongs to you and the family, you can just say you want him to do this and leave it at that. Don't give him any information about what you may be going to do if he doesn't change, he will only use that against you. And remember, do this only if you haven't said to him before that he needs to stop his wronging you and the family.
You didn't say that he doesn't give you any money which must mean he does give you money for child support, etc. You may not want to or may not be able to give that up. Finding someone else to replace him would not be easy with 9 children or however many children you may have if you and he were permanently separated or divorced. Therefore, you should be smart about meeting other men but you should surely try to do that. You are entitled to a much better life with someone but you don't want to give him any evidence to use against you so be smart and quiet about other men, not dumb like he is with other women. He may want you to run to get a divorce so he doesn't hide his bad ways. But begin to separate yourself from him permanently unless he immediately changes his ways as you think he should.
2006-09-21 04:24:46 · answer #2 · answered by dueritenow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets see!
!) Shes a stripper-
2) Drugs are involved-
3) They disappear for long periods of time together-
4) He denied knowing her for a long time-
5) He flaunts her-
6) Helps with her taxes-
Which one of the above statements are false.
Lady- you sound intelligent! Prove it!
2006-09-21 03:44:41 · answer #3 · answered by r g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would consider that cheating...Things don't have to become physical for it to be cheating in my eyes. He has formed an emotional bond with someone which he places higher than the bond he has with you.
Only you can decide what to do with your situation...but, if it were me, and I was having to live apart from my husband for the last 5 years and he was carrying on with some stripper and putting her needs ahead of mine ..... he would kiss my a$$ goodbye.... The only thing he would be getting from me is a child support bill!
You deserve better. Don't settle. Good Luck.
2006-09-21 02:27:27 · answer #4 · answered by getrd2go 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This may be hard to swollow but i think u need to let him go he's apparently no longer interested in u but don't worry it won't be long b4 this stripper character does the same to him as he has with u. And plus guy r a dime a dozen anyway (there are exceptions to this rule)
hope i helped
2006-09-21 02:26:06 · answer #5 · answered by indiadeknowitall 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why are you still married, hopfully not for the 9 children. Get legal council and get him out of your life, seeing he is already out of your house. Let him have the bimbo if she is willing to take him. A good lawyer...You will be taken care of.
2006-09-21 02:26:08 · answer #6 · answered by Tammy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This doesnt sound like a marriage at all. It is adulterous relations and you could easily divorce and move on.
Good Luck and God Bless!!
2006-09-21 02:32:26 · answer #7 · answered by msqtech 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GET OVER HIM.... LET HIM BE A FATHER TO THE KIDS AND AS FAR AS BEING WITH HIM.... FIND SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE IS NOT BEING TRUE TO U... HE IS CHEATING WITH THAT OTHER WOMAN....
2006-09-21 04:38:14 · answer #8 · answered by TANNER GIRL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what are you still doing in his relationship,
time for you o move on
2006-09-21 02:25:16 · answer #9 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u don't and that is a lot of children!!!!!! or if u go and visit your children u will see whaeva u see.
2006-09-21 02:25:12 · answer #10 · answered by calaeakagirlie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋