Is being monogamous a good thing?

Question

So many couples split up and then we have to see them fall apart, physically and mentally.Wouldn't it be easier to not be? Sure, in our late teens/early 20s we may have alot in common with our partner, but we all grow, spiritually/religiously, we all change, so do we try to keep a commitment to that person that we knew 'back then' even though if we were introduced to them now, we might not be as interested in them?

Not being monogamous, doesn't mean sleeping around/STDs.

Answer 1

LIfe is unbelievably short. It is over before you know it. You have an obligation to be the best you can be and to live life to the fullest degree possible. The achievement of happiness is at the core of our reason for being. A relationship is one element in a life - its importance is determined by the individual. If it is of fundamental importance to you then its right to choose the path that is most likely to yield greater happiness. If a particular relationship is stopping you from being who you should be then it needs to be changed or removed. Either that or accept to be less than you dream of.

Answer 2

I think about your question a lot. People really *do* change entirely. Since my marriage 12 years ago I have become a mother, changed religions (was the same as husband's, now different), speak a language I had barley even heard of in my 20's and live in a country that didn't exist when I got married.

My case is extreme, but haven't you run into a former friend from school and during that fairly short conversation come to realize that you no longer have anything in common? Why would it be different with the person you have married?

I think sometimes people grow together and sometimes people grow apart. If people have grown apart and being together prevents them from being happy, they should be allowed to separate. It doesn't make sense to be forced to "stick it out" and be miserable.

I disagree that this is always a case of rushing into marriage, or that you just have to find that mythical "soul mate". That's pretty immature thinking - as if things in this world are so black and white. You can have all the information possible about a person and really feel connected to them at the point when you get married, but then life happens...

Answer 3

I think being monogamous is a good thing if you are in a relationship and you really want to be in a relationship. I don't think someone should be in a relationship if they want to see other people. What is the point? Whether you are sleeping around or just dating other people, stick with that if you aren't ready for a committment and don't hurt someone by forming a relationship witht them with no intention of being faithful because this could really hurt a person and really mess up their viewpoint on relationships for the rest of their lives.

Answer 4

It might be easier but following the path of least resistance isn't always the most rewarding. When you make a commitment to someone that is just the beginning and through open communication you'll be able to figure it out if your relationship is salvageable once you've grown apart or if it's time to go your seperate ways. You can't have it both ways by trying to be in the relationship without staying commited to it.

Answer 5

What would you consider as good? Marriage, including monogamy, has been found to be the best way to live, based on a few thousand years of human experience. We've tried hundreds of different ways to live over the centuries, but nothing has worked as well. There is nothing like marriage. A good marriage means that no matter what the world throws at you, you always know that there is one person that you can always count on. And, that's enough.

Answer 6

I believe we were made for a lifetime partner but in this fallen world it's not easy to make it work. I'm considering divorce just now after hubby had an affair but I will do everything I can to save this marriage before I take that final step. Too many people give up easily.

Answer 7

monogamous is a good thing for many reasons besides safety from STD's and pregnancy. It gives root to family and home and allows a place of comfort which a stable couple provide each other and their offspring. Growth in Marriage is what is required to many people allow other things to become more important and forget the reasons they grew to love their spouse. Then eventually they become different people to each other and split.

Good Luck and God Bless!!

Answer 8

It's a good question, but stated from a self-centered perspective. I don't mean that negatively -- what I do mean is that the concept of monogamy was "invented" for the purpose of raising children. Perhaps not so much in modern times, but in the past, children had the highest chance of survival with two parents. Moreover, it was important that they be the child's biological parents, because a woman's later sex partners were not as likely to protect and feed a woman's children from her previous partners. Today's concepts of monogamy are outgrowths of that biological imperative. This is not to say that I disagree with them, but I cannot disagree with your own points, where children are not involved. (Switching partners remains psychologically damaging to children even today.)

Answer 9

People don't really change that much people rush into marriage before they really know the person so when they finally do know the true them they don't like it. Everyone has a soul mate all you have to do is find them. When people are young they are in lust with their partner and once that is gone they realise that they've really haven't got anything else in common.

Answer 10

People change and can outgrow relationships, particularly in this very complicated world in which we live. However, seeking out a new and more meaningful relationship requires that you end one relationship before beginning another. Ask yourself one question: Are STD's a good thing?