When I was pregnant with my son, me and husband separated and I filed for a divorce., because I did not want to go back with him, he said one time during a phone conversation "I hope your baby dies" - I was 51/2 months at the time - I know that we all say things which we do not mean when we are upset, but do you think this statement is forgiveable???
2006-09-21 01:17:13 · 36 answers · asked by Snowwhite 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
He would always make such comments - I guess because he wanted to hurt me or maybe because he really meant it, but I hold it against him and I know that it is best for my son to have a father, but to have a father who wished him dead so many times, is like being a hypocrite to me... So fake of a father...
2006-09-21 01:24:26 · update #1
I know he has a legal right to see the child, but I could be a ****** and make him file for visitation and make it difficult for him to see the baby. I do not know if to make it difficult or simply let him see the child.
2006-09-21 01:27:07 · update #2
i'm so sorry u have this problem. i think i would make him do it the hard way so u have more time to learn how to deal with him. it would take me a while to forgive the sob. make sure u feel safe with ur son going with him and maybe express ur concerns to the friend of the court and if u have enough evidence they may only grant him supervised visitations until he can prove himself. i think he was mad and that's why he made the comments but he went TOO FAR!
2006-09-21 01:32:47 · answer #1 · answered by confused mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a horrible thing to say, but sometimes we say really hurtful things when we are upset. It would definitely be hard to forgive, but I think you have to put this statement in the past, and look at it this way:
Your ex-husband bears half of the responsibility for this child, and can be held accountable for helping to support this child. That process will go a lot more smoothly if you simply allow the father to visit his son - otherwise it could involve lengthy and costly legal battles.
So sometimes, even though it's difficult to forgive such severe words as these, the best thing for everyone involved is to move on and act as adults.
2006-09-21 01:27:15 · answer #2 · answered by JenV 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has he asked to see the baby? If he has, and he has not shown you that he is going to harm the baby, I'd want another adult with me when he saw it. (Just so he is a little more careful on verbally attacking you) You may also want to check with a lawyer. The father does have certain rights and it would be so great if he got the opportunity to show what a good dad he could be. Maybe you and he can't live together, but there should be no reason why you both cannot be involved in this baby's life. The baby deserves it! Hope things work out for the good of the baby.
2006-09-21 01:31:19 · answer #3 · answered by HolidayGurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was with a man and became pregnant. When I was 4 months pregnant he left me and denied that the baby ws is. So I was alone when giving birth and he replied the same thing when the baby was born. One yer later he wanted in to the babys life and I let him. What i learned from that is I gave him a chance and he failed so what I am trying to say is yes klet him see the baby because you can let your child know that you gave his father a chance rather he stays or goes. Don't let your child resent you because of harsh words because a baby can change anyone if they let it. I resentedmy mother for keeping me away from my father and it was hard i still don't know my father but i met him when i turned 20. Fueding between parents no matter what harsh words have been said does effect the child . The baby is either going to know him or hate him let your child decide in the future. Let him see the baby and if he walks or bad mouthes then tell you child that you gave him a chance never lie to you baby. Don't let your baby resent you for anything because it hurts
the statemnet is not forgicvable but the child can make him see different
give tha t chance for your baby
not him nor you
2006-09-21 01:26:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay... You were married to him. You need to think about weather he is really a dangerous person or if he would actually try and inflict harm to your son.
When I was pregnant with my youngest daughter a lot of harsh words were thrown at me. From my ex. He would wish they same thing. He was scared, mad, and didn't think he wanted to be a parent.
When our daughter was born I sent him pictures of her using aol. I would check to see if he opened the emails... He did. He did have an interest. He didn't mean the things he had said.
He met our daughter on the day she turned 4 months old. As much as we held a grudge against eachother he is a great father to our daughter.
He was scared, hurt, and yes he tried to make things as difficult as he could for me. During our relationship he never once threw anything, he never hit anything, and he never ever laid a hand on me. So I new he was not dangerous.
Oh regardless of what you do file for full physical custody and depending on if you want him to make choices in your childs medical and school file accordingly for legal custody. You do both at the same time.
2006-09-21 01:39:12 · answer #5 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People say things they don't often mean when trying to really hurt another. He has a right to see his child. He also has an obligation to help support his child. Had he been there for the child's birth, he would have felt like a low miserable dog for having ever said such a thing.
2006-09-21 01:21:53 · answer #6 · answered by auld mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old is the father?...
Everyone is a hypocrite.
I would forgive him, however I would NOT forget. I would let him see the baby. Now that your a mother, you have to do whats best for your son. I'm sure your son would like to know his father. Fathers are important to a child. Besides, you can let your son find out on his own that his dad sucks. If you don't, your son may come to resent you.
Oh yeah and document EVERYTHING. Don't talk on the phone, use email. Keep a journal.
Good luck!
2006-09-21 01:36:26 · answer #7 · answered by SallyC 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
All things can be forgivable but do you trust him with your son?When a man gets that angry that is harsh. I woud not let my son go to see his dad and if the courts demand it I would explain what happenend when we divorced. I see that as the same thing as a death threat against your son. Is there a chance that he is still angry and might hurt your son to get evev with you? I would be concerned about that. Sometimes our children are better off without that kind of a dad figure. You do no want to teach him that knid of anger.God loves you both and watches over you. God Bless and love that little man.
2006-09-21 01:36:47 · answer #8 · answered by wolfy1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey lady it all depends on what he meant' and how u feel about it but thats really dangerious how could he say that morever he was responsible for it. listen to your heart and see if what he said is really forgivable he might have not said only that but u only got pissed by that yes your right he was the person u really need support from by that time and here he said such oh no he should be purnished for that.
2006-09-21 01:28:32 · answer #9 · answered by halicate 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
anything is forgiveable but you'll never forget and when a statement is comeing from someone that you thought cared about you it makes it even harder.......a person like this you should never underestimate what a person like this will do just from his statement . I'm sure he told you that it was out of anger and he really didn't mean it .......mama always say think before you speak...but by law he has a right to see his child and with caution i would make sure that it was supervised for the safety of my child
2006-09-21 01:24:11 · answer #10 · answered by mojajazmo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋