But suddenly he got panicky, saying he was having doubts we were right for each other. He said he needed a break from us. obviously this left me completely devastated. I moved home to the UK from his home (Canada), and tried to pick up my life. After a week he called saying he didnt think he was in love with me anymore, and that our relationship had changed. This sounded so final, I was heartbroken.. We had an amazing relationship and now everything is a mess. So I tried to pick myself up the best I could.
Untill today I was doing ok. But he called this morning. He sounded so down and sad. He told me he had started taking drugs (which he never did with me) he needs them to 'have a good time' He says his life's a mess. He misses me, and has thought about coming bk to UK and begging me to take him back. He said he keeps thinking about the good times, but NEVER actually said I WANT YOU BACK, which is what I needed to here. He made me promise to call tonight, what shoud I do?
2006-09-21 00:19:16 · 20 answers · asked by Sophie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sadly, you need to let him wallow in his own poor decision.
2006-09-21 00:23:32 · answer #1 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever seen the movie "French Kiss" with Meg Ryan and Kevin Klein? Your story is very simmilar to it barring the drug use.
While what he did was hurtful you should be glad it occurred before you actually got married and had children. Of course he is depressed he is a drug user and who knows what else he has been doing. Stop being a crutch for him. If you care about him then cut him off. Maybe the shock of losing a good thing will aide him in hitting rock bottome so that he can get some help. You can't save him. I am sure he does miss you but remember he didn't love you truly. Don't call him it isn't your responsibility.
2006-09-21 01:49:26 · answer #2 · answered by AVA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The tip off is he keeps thinking of the good times...he needs rehab for the drugs ( he could have been useing with you and kept it a secret) and help for his depression. I understand you love him and want him back but you need to find out what caused the break up for him.....or getting back together is not a good idea he will just do it again and you don't want to relive that pain again. He needs to understand in the real world relationships have bad times too not all good! But we learn from our mistakes and use them as building blocks towards a good life.
You are assuming he wants you back then if he never said he wants you back? Do you want him back and if so why? Really put some thought in this before you give him back your heart. Your heart should be treated with tender loving care not just tossed to the wind when he feels he needs out. Think long and hard on this one ......
~Good Luck~
2006-09-21 00:27:35 · answer #3 · answered by vtlovie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie I'm going to tell you what will happen if he comes back. His drug problem will remain...unless he gets help and even then it will be hard to fight. Drug addiction is hard. You and him will probably have amazing sex for a few days and he will get "bored" again. Point blank he doesn't know what he wants, he is a mess and I think that he will bring you down. I know your heart must go out to him and I know you love him. But you must think about yourself too. Are you going to allow him to feed off of you/ your emotions. Of course he is thinking about the good times. He misses them. He sounds like he is depressed and needs a friend and thats great if you want to help him but I'd suggest leaving the past in the past...good luck.
2006-09-21 00:30:16 · answer #4 · answered by heatherlynnmorrow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont go back to him, its a bad idea. I just got this weird feeling about his agenda. I was with a guy like that. I really loved him and he left me like that and out of the blue he called me back saying he was thinking about old times never really said he wanted to get back together and I went back and he wasn't the same person that he was he had changed so much and it just didn't work out he just used me as a convience a just kinda walked around me like I wasn't even there so I tolerated it for about a week and I told him I was gone for good and he calls me now ever now and again but I am glad that I let him go because now I am happily engaged to get married in July to my true love
2006-09-21 00:46:18 · answer #5 · answered by Dark magician Gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you as I have been in a similar situation... and it is so hard to make an informed decision when you are are right there in the thick of it.
What does your heart tell you, really? Have you thought about just pulling back and seeing what happens... let him come to you? They always want what is hard to get... Don't make it so easy for him to get you back, make him work for it and above all else, make sure he is off those drugs and has got himself sorted... you are not his mother nor his keeper... he has to be happy within himself first before he can be happy with anyone... perhaps that is more the reason why he left... he is scared.
Do what is right for you, what makes you happy. You deserve to be with someone that loves you 100% and is committed, not someone that doesn't want to be alone.
Good luck :-)
Lise
2006-09-21 00:24:24 · answer #6 · answered by lisecnz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A similar thing happened with my ex, out of the blue. Do you know what i did? I packed up went travelling and had a ball and met the man im going to spend the rest of my life with. Right now it will be so hard for you, eat chocolate, drink wine and have a cry. When my ex realised id gotten over him he begged me to go back. Fate throws you a bad hand now and again but be strong, dont bother with someone who can throw your emotions away because they are confused!!
2006-09-21 00:30:31 · answer #7 · answered by doll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get the feeling that he may have met someone else and wanted you out of the way to pursue her then maybe things did not go as well as he had expected and he doesn't like being alone. I personally would not want to be with some one who treats me like I'm a yo-yo but you have to set your own standards for yourself good luck
2006-09-21 00:27:39 · answer #8 · answered by Sandra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did it split in a million/2? Oh expensive! bypass to a doctor to get it regarded at. perhaps he could desire to get some stitches or something. don't have intercourse impressive now in view which will make his ding-a-ling split even worst! If it hurts, it is an illustration to get it regarded at. extra constructive secure than sorry!
2016-10-17 09:24:30 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't look back, he made a mistake dumping you and he's just making more mistakes. You're not his keeper, you just need to focus on making sure you're OK. Sounds like it would be best if you didn't take his calls anymore, he's going to continue to drag you down with him.
2006-09-21 00:23:39 · answer #10 · answered by live2ride 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're setting yourself up for another fall. You want to be his foul weather friend? When his life sucks, he comes back to you to make it better? I understand your pain, but did he understand your pain when he dumped you? You are going to take pity on him and take him back, but did he pity you? Are you OK with him stomping on your heart? Is he worth doing it all over again?
2006-09-21 00:24:33 · answer #11 · answered by just browsin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋