I am a 28 yr old woman, have 2 kids (4 & 8), live with my partner. unfortunatly were on benifits right now, (untill my youngest is a school full time, then i will start working again, my partner is studying). I moved a long way away with my children to get away from there abusive dad, who is an alcoholic. he was homeless and we took him in, promissing he had stoped drinking, he hadnt and went totally OTT and pissed himself on the sofa regualy ect, so i new all i could do was make a clean break. since i have moved (just over a year ago)he has only asked twice to see them, both times when he is drunk on the phone. we have been split up for 3 years in january in that time he has tryed hard to evade paying child support. he owes 1 thousand in arreas. now i am being chassed for debts which he left in our name and he has done a bunk, i am left having to pay them off. which i cant afford.
how do i find him and make him pay?
He is ruining our lives even when he is not arround!
Any ideas.
2006-09-20 23:29:35 · 12 answers · asked by Kerrie-anne 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think i know where he is, but the tax credits wont take any info, they say he must ring himself, meanwhile they exspect me to pay his share!
2006-09-20 23:30:50 · update #1
actually the only leaason i needed to learn are not to marry dickheads!
the debts are for overpayments in tax credits and utility bills that he ran up afer i left and rent that he didnt pay, rent contract was in joint names. They wouldnt take my name off until he payed what he owed, which he didnt!
ive never had a credit card in my life!
2006-09-20 23:39:17 · update #2
Actualy MARKP loosers are not my thing...when i met my now partner we both worked, he lost his job (trough no fault of his own) so decided to study for a better one!
FCUK YOU!
2006-09-20 23:41:08 · update #3
Hi, first of all dont panic...... what you need to do is do an Income and Expenditure Form ...... all the money coming in to your household and the money going out......
Prioritise whats going out eg: rent, council tax (if applicable), electricity, gas, water, tv license, telephone, food, house Insurance, Car Tax, Car Insurance (if applicable) Food, travel passes for kids, off set against Incoming money and see what you have left..... make sure that in your Expenditure form you take everything into account..... the remainer left is called disposable Income.......
The disposable Income is what you can realistically afford to pay your creditors.......
Next step is to prioritise your creditors and send a letter to everyone of them together with a copy of your Income and Expenditure Sheet and ask them firstly to freeze interest on the debt and secondly say realistically what you can afford to pay each week to them.....
By all accounts in UK what ever you offer they have to accept.... (as long as you can show the Income and Expenditure Sheet) some will try and bully you into paying more and what you need to say is that they can take you to court..... you will find that most of them will accept your payment...... I would advise that everything is done in writing as you then have a record ..... and also its less intimidating than being asked for Income details over the phone.
Finally i would say that if they were joint loans and you know were your ex partner is I would say you are willing to pay half the debt and no more.....
Finally Citizens Advice Bureau are brillant regarding matters like these also in your local town you may even have free law society drop in centre....
Good luck and stay positive wishing you all the best
2006-09-21 02:17:05 · answer #1 · answered by dee9166 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have no assets such as a house, then declare yourself bankrupt. They will then go after him for the debts. A bit drastic probably, but most of the UK laws have relaxed around this issue... you should be out the other side in about a year.
If it's stuff like credit cards and you are simply a supplementary cardholder, then you bear no responsibility for the debt... if its something you have physically signed for then I'm afraid you are liable for the debt and not just half.
Any debts in his sole name you are not responsible for.
Hope you learned your lesson. Go to the CAB in the UK and get the number of a FREE debt counselling service, don't be tempted by all of the media ads around at the moment, they will screw you.
2006-09-20 23:33:59 · answer #2 · answered by Ellie29uk 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First off get a lawyer. In a lot of states you are only responsible for 1/2 of any debts you acquired together. They also can't keep harassing you once you have a lawyer they have to deal with him. Its the best thing you can do at this point. Good Luck
2006-09-20 23:39:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
contact the creditors and explain the situation to them. You should not have to chase him for money he owes, if he has entered into agreements with creditors and his signature appears on the agreements tell them to chase him and not you as long as they have no agreement confirmed by you they will have to chase him. Unfortunately if you shared the house you lived in and had a joint mortgage he will be entitled to part of the asset and the creditors may come after that.
2006-09-20 23:36:09 · answer #4 · answered by crownose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to citizens advise, get professional help and get this all out in the open. Find out your rights, they cant get blood from a stone! I split with my husband 3 years ago and I recently received a letter kindly asking if I knew of his whereabouts, I told them discreetly!
2006-09-21 04:01:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you explained the situation to the lenders? Most lender will give you a break!
I hate to hear stories like this! The wrong people come worse off sometimes and it sucks.
Hope all works out.
2006-09-20 23:34:41 · answer #6 · answered by PollyPocket 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i suggest u go to court. if u re on benefits it will be free for u. but of course if he is a homeless bum i don't know what that will help. i think u have to pay at the end, so write it as a lesson for future - if u cut once don't try to glue back
2006-09-20 23:36:39 · answer #7 · answered by jacky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok- had to strikes colleges seven situations- moved homestead 10- long previous via mothers and fathers divorces and re-marriages... So i kinda have a feeling i take undesirable information somewhat properly with the aid of now!
2016-10-15 06:12:40 · answer #8 · answered by rybicki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can stop with the language first of all! When you put you names on things you are legally bound to them. Try setting it up where you pay your half, his name is on it too he's half responsible.
2006-09-21 00:39:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
dont pay his debts,dont let him back.how can kids respect a man who pisses on the sofa though drink,must be great when they come down in the morning,great dad,great desicoin to let him back,new bloke on benifits too? are loser your thing?
2006-09-20 23:35:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋