For years I have had access to my husbands account for family letters. I started to see letters from someone we both know and the letters were becoming more like that of love letters, to the point of making arrangements to meet at our house when I would be gone at least an hour or more. On one occassion I came back to get something I forgot, she was there. All doors and windows were closed. As I walked by a window I saw them kissing. I was so upset I just got in the car and left. I came back hours later. I comfronted him about it and he said nothing was going on. I was imagining things and he has never cheated on me in the 15 years we have been married. How do I trust what he said after what I saw and all the letters that they wrote to each other. They put me down in some and expressed their desires to be with each other. My heart is broken, my spirit gone. I don't want to loose what I thought I had but he says it's in my head and I'm crazy to even go there. Suggestions?
2006-09-20 21:33:28 · 16 answers · asked by always been faithful 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
HE IS CHEATING. its not in your head- you saw it w/ your own two eyes. Im sorry, sweetie; its happened to many, many good people; myself included. sometimes our hearts dont want to believe it- but its the reality. please do the right thing for your life & LEAVE HIM. if he has disrespected you to this degree, it will never, ever be right again.
2006-09-20 21:37:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you not crazy at all. reason is that he put you though hell that you have been finding letters and you got him while kissing that woman. I just wished that you walk in and say well all the window and doors are locks and come in here seeing you kissing other woman. then he busted. but didn't happen.
But You put alot of heart, love, caring, everything for this dumb a$$ husband for 15 years and what he do for you nothing. You took the marriage seriouly but he didn't.. so he and her not going to last long why? Big Karma will get back at him. big time, if he ever beg you back wanted you back tell him.. I though you said I am crazy to go there so now you coming back with me I don't think so..... Once you say it it done over.
Show him that you can do without him and move on and make your life success better than that woman and I am sure he will notice and say damn what did I do ? smiling.
Hang in there and don't have to feel sorry about him or youself he made it happen and no one blaming you for that at all.. Keep your head high and move on.. smile
2006-09-21 04:14:21 · answer #2 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously if he put his lips to another he isn't being faithful. I know you have love for him and he probably has love for you. But face it honey, he's having an affair or want to. You have already made some kind of communication with him and he denies it. so I have a suggestion or two.
Make a threat, next time this happens...that you will leave. Then leave. Go somewhere for a few days. Even if it is to a hotel just go to work, relieve some stress and get some alone time. Then see his reaction. Is he going crazy missing you or replacing you with his other? The truth might hurt but if he chooses her then start the divorce paperwork or not. Hell, I think not getting a divorce if he wants one is the best choice. Make him suffer.
Or
Have an affair of your own. See how he reacts or just spend some noticible time away and give him a taste of his own medicine.
Good luck.
2006-09-20 22:01:46 · answer #3 · answered by heatherlynnmorrow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack his stuff and take them round to this womans,because i can assure you that once the dust settles theres nothing like a woman scorned and you will become really p####d off.Don't put up with any thing,just remember if a friend came around and told you that story,what would you have said?You must do the same as the advice you give,i know it's hard but you are in control of your life and once infedelity has happened the relationship isn't the same,any one who says it is is a liar.
2006-09-20 21:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by Countess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, You saw with your own 2 eyes! sounds to me like he's one that can talk his way out of a paperbag that stapled, taped, and glued. No don't trust him, and leave him and move on. Cuz he's just gonna keep talkin the talk. oh as I said Men are Pigs. The majority of them are. There is some good ones out there though,... Sorry you had to see that and have to go thru this. Hes being a jerk and will always be one.
2006-09-20 23:51:31 · answer #5 · answered by AngWings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You saw with your own eyes so it is not in your head.Unfortunately he can not be trusted.Yous need a serious talk and get this straightened out.15 yrs is a long time and hopefully it was only a silly little kiss.It's the lieing that would bother me the most.Good luck.
2006-09-20 21:39:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
uh oh...troubled waters....i know it must be really painful..but u need to do what is best for u...talk to him frankly show him that u have read the letters etc and what u saw..m sure if he values ur marraige he will rectify his mistake...and regret it..or else if he doesnt and still continues to say that its all in ur head..go to a lawyer!!
all the best!
2006-09-20 21:55:23 · answer #7 · answered by v v 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, isn't he the biggest boldest liar on the face of this earth??????
Start seeing a lawyer to proceed with the divorce and getting maintenance from him.
2006-09-21 00:36:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why waste your life with this type of a so called man you saw him yourself and came back that was when you needed to break your silence and start your life over not play .2. fiddle to this so called husband . in my opion?
2006-09-20 21:44:11 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him the ultimatum, tell him you know its true and you saw it. He has lost your trust. He really wants to stay with you then he has to re-earn your trust on your terms. Counseling whatever. But in general, what you had, HE lost. not you.
2006-09-20 21:54:34 · answer #10 · answered by km 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋