Everyone in most of her classes hate her, she has clinging problems and shes starting to cling to me, shes very sensitive, and i'm trying to help ehr as much as i can, by teaching her to stand up for herself, by doing it myself, but shes so so draining, i know its a bad thing to say, but i cant do it anymore, i am willing to help her but she just doesnt change, i hate to say it, but it seems like she likes the attention so she talks up all this stuff like she used to cut herself, and i dont mind helping her, but it needs to work, i dont wanna spend my time and energy on something thats not gonna work, shes been to counsillers and stuff but it doesnt work, she needs like exercises to help ehr with certain situations. This stuff is taking time away from my work, my friends, and i am willing to do something, but i dont know what, i dont know who to say to her that i will help her but she has to actually do it. Please give your honest opinion. Thankyou.
2006-09-20 21:16:54 · 8 answers · asked by Blurred V 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
to help her understand her interest. then help her towards the fulfilment of her goal rather than influencing her effort into your area of interest.
2006-09-20 21:42:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rather than counsellors, such people need group therapy, which does not need to be professional. The best thing for any one of us is not to feel alone, especially in a depressive state. You could try to ask the counseling department whether they have a support group or program for such cases. Chances are there is something of the sort already. If not, you can check the local self-help groups. One on one simply does not work, and it makes the emotionally weaker person to fixatate on anyone willing to help, with sometimes disastrous results. Long-term group therapy is the best way. I went through something similar a few years back, and I wish both of you good luck.
2006-09-21 04:24:18 · answer #2 · answered by Jhan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume you are a boy and she is being clingy to you as a boy friend, (friend), type of relationship. Some people get their kicks out of dumping their personal physical problems on others and they feel that they take on their problems, etc. She wants you to feel responsible for her, so she does not need to do anything to help herself. One thing is not right, and then there is another suggestion, and that is not right, etc. If you put her down and tell her personally that you don't want to be with her, then she will put on the tears and make you feel guilty. Either write her a letter and mail it, or have a friend, explain for you how you feel. If you think you are strong enough to tell her yourself, then do that. Just tell her what you told us, that she is pulling your down. You know, you can't go down with a sinking ship, and some people have a knack for pulling you down with them. This will teach her to be more independent and solve her own problems. This is the only way you can tell if she is on the level, but regardless, the friendship has to be somehow called off now. Good luck.
2006-09-21 04:25:40 · answer #3 · answered by shardf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try being honest with her.
Why do you feel obligated to help her? There is a limit on how much you can help her, she has to help herself sooner or later, if you give her so much support she will take a longer time to learn to be independent. You need not neglect her but you need not tend to her every need either. Judge for yourself when she really needs your help. You need to have your own time too, don't spend it all on her.
2006-09-21 04:22:36 · answer #4 · answered by lkraie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take care of you too. If your friend is draining you with her problems you need to take a break from her. Tell her that you need time for yourself.
2006-09-21 04:20:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you are a really good friend,but,you cant help someone that wont help them self. you can try talking to her family.if that don't work then just tell her like it is. and don't sugar coat it either.you can only do so much.tell her that its looking like she don't wont your help,because shes not taking your advice.tell her that your sorry but you just cant seem to help her and you have things to do.
2006-09-21 05:02:37 · answer #6 · answered by lovinonly#1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sems like a co-depandant leach too me.
tell her too get a life and stand up for her self.
dont let her drain you
2006-09-21 04:35:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
suggest counseling to your friend- she has issues much too deep for you (or any friend) to handle. you can still be her friend, but encourage her to see the school counselor.
2006-09-21 04:19:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋