25000 klicks from where. I reside and she has been getting her self into one pickle ,after another, since she has become an adult" as she says" but her dad died recently and she has become very uncaring to herhusband whom she started dating at an early age when her mom was alive . As she was a close friend and asked, me to finish raising her child I did ,for 6yrs, until her father took her away from me but as she grew she looked for andand now she has done another of her rash non thinking desicions, and keeps calling to help her out, I warned her what would be the consequenses but she just went ahead and did what she wanted too. now I feel as if I am wrong because I won't be able to help out. this time because it ,is here new husband who asked me not to, he says she has to learn the hard way and he can and wants to help her but he is sticking to his word .what should I do she is not in danger. she just wants my help and I feel I should abide by her husband wishes what would you d
2006-09-20 19:55:50 · 3 answers · asked by lytesdelite 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I agree with her husband.... she needs to learn that her lack of taking her actions seriously can (and WILL) have adverse effects. He is using tough love here. Don't mess it up by helping her. She must learn her lesson.
By the way, you are not wrong by not helping her. You know that she needs what her husband is doing, he has the intestinal fortitude to carry it out. Just be there for moral support and explain that your NOT interfering is the best thing for her.
Also, give her husband credit that he is willing to do this and help her straighten out. A lot of guys would not go through that.
2006-09-20 20:10:34 · answer #1 · answered by Morpheus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! if she's keeps saying she's an "adult" then let her deal with her mistakes like an "adult". Yes, I understand she has lost her father, but you need to understand that you are not there to clean up her messes. don't mess up your life for someone who can care less about her's. her husband is right .if she doesn't learn the hard way she won't learn at all. The only way to live in this world is to learn from your mistakes,she just seems to make alot of them.But you know what? hopefully in the end she will come out smarter. do as her husband ask's. she's his responsibility now,not your's! if she keeps calling and asking for your help then just say "i'm sorry but you need to get your self out of this mess you 'caused" if you don't then she will think everytime she get's in trouble that it's not a big deal 'cause you will bail her out. She's walking all over you!!! how do you not see that?!?!? trust me, tough love is the only way sometimes.
2006-09-21 03:10:44 · answer #2 · answered by ~Angel with scabbed wings~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her husband's right. She knew the consequences beforehand, and was forewarned. Now she needs to pay the price and go to the School of Hard Knocks.
If you continue your pattern, you'll only be enabling her to continue her destructive behavior. What you need to offer now is called "tough love", but it's the best thing for her.
2006-09-21 03:08:44 · answer #3 · answered by ♫☼♥ ≈ Debbi ≈ ♥☼♫ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋