It's hard to present a question and get an accurate anwser when people use stereotypes to judge a question or situation. But the only way i can explain or give a background to this is to say that im almost twenty one, and I'm quite sure that i've had enough real-life experience to understand assumption from intuition.
My parents have been married for about 25 years now, (mid 40's). However my father has probably given my mom roses 3 x in his life, some argue not romantic. Stop there my friend. For the past 8 years, My mom has worked 7 days a week, brought in the paycheck, paid the house pay, and has basically lived a life of a machine. My dad has yet to take her out for about 3 years now, doesn't say he loves her...and never shows her affection of any sort? To me as a young man, I would assume as a husband you would have something inside of you that said enough is enough. Anyways..
recently my mom said he has mentioned being home late at 3 am cuz of a new friends party? but later,
2006-09-20 18:47:46 · 9 answers · asked by carpjx99 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Said, that it was canclled cuz his gf had "fallena nd bumped her head" come on now, doesn't take a brain surgeon to shout bogus.
Then he buys new clothes, my dad is a mechanic, he wears clothes from the early 90's and doesn't spend a penny( on them, not since maybe i was 12. that is like 9 years people.
then, another big alarming fact he sleeps down stairs, for about 2 years has been...
any help on this? what do you think..
2006-09-20 18:49:01 · update #1
Sorry for the length..
also my mom said about a month ago out to eat, he told a waitress..in front of my mom, "oh did i mess up, maybe you should spank me"
on top of this my mom said a few nights ago while out to eat, she asked him to not look at other women when at leas tshe was around...
it's just not adding up.
2006-09-20 18:52:41 · update #2
one sign is they stop calling as much as they usually and they don't have time for you any more
2006-09-20 18:55:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont mean to be rude but this is not your relationship. I understand that you are concerned, but maybe this is just their way of dealing with whatever is going on between them, however unconventional you may think it is. They havent been married for that many years for no reason. You have to realize that they know each other like their right foot knows the other. Maybe just in casual conversation ask so how are you and mom getting along. If you wanted to possibly make reservations at a resturant for the two of them and just tell them I thought you two deserved a relaxing night just to enjoy each others company. On the other hand, one or both of them might even take offense to you "butting in" that really depends on your relationship with either parent. Good Luck
2006-09-20 19:19:13 · answer #2 · answered by gomendic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is his job? Why is he required to stay out so late? It sounds as though the relationship is strained, and she needs some time off! They need to reconnect, as any couple would during this time! Why is she the only one working? Yes, enough is enough, and your parents need to communicate. Maybe mention a little something to both of them...that you notice stress, or even tension when you are with them. After all those years, I would hope they would take a step back if their distance was noticed by their son! There is definitely work that has to be done in that marriage, and you can initiate that~
2006-09-20 19:02:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Three words...Mid Life Crisis!
It's kind of usual for married couples to end up sleeping in different rooms, especially after 25 years. So that's not something to be alarmed about. However, the new friends and shopping spell out to me that he's not exactly cheating but he's wanting to feel young, hip and attractive. This is usual for men (and women) his age.
If your mom isn't worried about it, then you shouldn't be either. Just love them both and be there for them. Don't make it uncomfortable for them by harping on these feelings...please. If it turns out that he has been cheating, then this is something for the two of them to work out. I'm sure you wouldn't want them to intrude on your own marriage.
2006-09-20 19:04:15 · answer #4 · answered by Chellebelle78 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yah, sounds very much like ur dad had moved on. He might be going thru mid-life crisis or he is cheating on her or he is revenging her for something that she had done in the past. Its kinda difficult to tell but i think ur mom need to confront him & ask him to what he wants exactly in his life from this point onwards... Communicating is the best way to resolve issues in a relationship & if ur dad refuses to work things out, chances r he is not interested anymore cuz he has a life, a different life. He may not agree to a divorce being afraid to loose half his assets n stuff...so, he has quietly moved on & it's all surfacing now......
2006-09-20 19:10:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
from what i read i can really confirm something else, you don want to become your dad or mom. i can see that, the relationship there are having before getting married i believe is a sweet memory but after getting married over 10 years.You know marriage , mortgage makes couple fadeup with their life , thay stating to thinking, their dream was gone, they will put their hope on their children and you know that sucks~!
sorry for answering so long . from what i see your mom sacrifice for this family alot , you must remember that, you will treat your mom good when she got retired as your father depends on his attitide on you.i m sure your father just getting bored that's way he went flirt infront of your mom, man~!you father had the guts to that~! if your relationship with your parents are good , you can try this. look for a day u r alone with your mom, ask this question"mom, where did u meet pap?'she will tell you some of the old story from there you will keep on asking where do they date, what is the most romantic thing pap did?'this will make your keep on reminding the past which why he love your pap and same as your pap, i did it b4 n i must say it works. pls don ever suspect one of them r cheating oneach other try to stick them together again. i know is not your job but god always sed his angel to take care of us and mayb god wants you to be one of them do you thing.
my friend , i can see if you really got married, you will love your wife as long as you live, we konw is not ez to maintain a marriage and we also is not ez to met a gal who willing to live with you weather you r rich or poor, young or old .
2006-09-20 19:12:26 · answer #6 · answered by aeeyo1314 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it is totally between them. not you. if it was your spouse then yes, do the detective work. but its not. its your parents. most people don't even wanna know bout their parent's sex lives. if they want to tell you, they will. i think they would not want you to take sides is why they are not involving you in it. either that,or they want to keep their business private.
do you still live at home with them?
2006-09-20 19:05:40 · answer #7 · answered by julie j 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's really sad, well you probably know in your heart he's doing it with another women, seems like there's nothing left for him and yur mum. You could try to be private investigator and see what happend
2006-09-20 18:56:13 · answer #8 · answered by happydial 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe you should try to talk to him
2006-09-20 18:53:16 · answer #9 · answered by *KiM* 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋