I just wanted to ask anyone who may have some knowledge or past exp with this stuff.
Reason being because i've noticed some weird behavior and things my dad has said etc that lead me to think he may be cheating.....
first of all my mom works 6 days a week 9 hours...and for the past 3/4 years he has slept downstairs, i understand work sometimes but for 4-7 years straight of this? when does the inside of you say i love you, and we'll sacrifice work for ourselves now.
2ndly, he works from 3-12 night shifts now, and it's a new job. as a mechanic<. well my mom told me 2nite that he told her he had a party "a guy from work" (mind u this is a new job..) and he wouldn't be home till 3 am. however he said yesterday it was cancelled cuz the guy's birthday, well his gf had fell and bumped his head??
another thing 4 days ago my dad went shopping..bought all new clothes m moms aid...yet he hasn't wornt htme arond us..and HE HASN'T GONE SHOPPING INCE I WAS LIKE 13.
should i be alarmed thx..
2006-09-20 18:18:07 · 18 answers · asked by brizane f 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, let's hope your mum is cheating on him too.
2006-09-20 18:19:53 · answer #1 · answered by Transgénico 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Sounds like they need some help with their marriage for sure. I don't know how old you are but if you are really upset about all this, you need to talk to them together. Tell them you don't think the way they treat each other is normal and you want to know what's going on. Tell them you deserve to know especially if it means your family is not secure. They work the number hours and the weird hours to avoid each other. Ask your Dad, "Hey, I heard you went shopping for clothes, why didn't you take me?" Then ask him what he got and ask him to show you. If they are very modern and flashy, could be he's having an affair with a man or a woman. Anyway, all you can do is ask. Just make sure you let them know this is upsetting you and how it is affecting you.
2006-09-20 18:27:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That has to be so hard for a kid to feel that way about their parent, I did have a friend that thought the same thing about her dad and actually started to follow him and she confronted him, He WAS cheating. I don't know how old you are but you may want to have a one on one with both of your parents and say hey this is the way things look to me,why are you sleeping apart from each other . I don't know how you feel about them getting a divorce, but maybe let them know that they should not stay together on your account especially if they are going to continue living they way they are right now. Hope this helps, also maybe talk with a church or school counselor. Good Luck =)
2006-09-20 18:24:12 · answer #3 · answered by whattheheck 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your mom needs to be the one to confront your dad but I can telly ou it doesn't sound good. If you want to give your 2 cents worth buy your mom The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr Laura Schlessinger and ask her to please read it, she may be against it at first but tell her to read it with an open mind for you if not for herself and her marriage and your family. It will make her realize a lot about whats going on and you can ask your dad to read it next. If they really want to have a happy marriage as they did in the beginning this book will help if they let it. Don't wait do it now the sooner your mom reads it and then your dad the better. Good luck. Remember too, just because you are the child doesn't mean that you can't be the one that turns the light on for either one of your parents for them to realize what is going on and to fix it.
2006-09-20 18:29:25 · answer #4 · answered by purdie101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are adults and you will find that you will be shifting out of their lives and into yours. Your concerned and that is good... however... they are adults... you didn't cause this, you probably can't change the situation.. you don't know what personal bagage that came along before you were born and the true nature of their marriage....
Be there for them but don't burden yourself with their problems nor take sides.. they are adults and live and love on their own terms as you will on yours....
2006-09-20 18:41:56 · answer #5 · answered by Maken trax 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All the signs are clear, the lame excuses and the new wardrobe. Always the new wardrobe means he is trying to impress someone. But please do not be too fast to judge him or tell your mom. In case the obvious persists break the news to you mum with a lot of tact when they say love is blind it means exactly that.
2006-09-20 19:01:45 · answer #6 · answered by Ycul72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't know if you really should be sticking your nose into it... Until I was like 13 I was sure my parents don't ever have sex. When I was like 20 my mom told me how and when :-) Children are not supposed to know when do they do it.
Yeah, he needs new clothes sometimes... Maybe now that he got a new job he finally feels entitled to new clothes.
2006-09-20 18:22:10 · answer #7 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No and if so this is between your mom and Dad...Its really hard to stay out of there business because they are so close to you, but if you mom has a feeling than she should talk to dad, dont get in the middle....
2006-09-20 18:35:13 · answer #8 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your mom why dad is sleeping downstairs... This may be the question that opens your mother up and clues you into whats going on...
If not just leave well enough alone - whatever they are doing - they are doing for you!!!!!!
2006-09-20 18:45:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well then... it may or may not be suspicious, depends on your frame of mind. I would suggest you talk with your father and tell him that it isn't your business and he doesn't have to answer you but you would like to know why him and your mother don't share a bed anymore. It could be something silly like his snoring keeps mom awake or maybe he lost a bet with her...who knows.
From there you could just strait out ask him if he's having an affair and be sure to let him know that it doesn't concern you but if he is, suggest he seek couple counceling and tell him not to stay with your mother or leave her just because of you or anybody, it's a choice only he can make. Be supportive no matter what he has to say or doesn't say, nobody knows what he's thinking or going through except him.
My father had many affairs over a 13yr span. My siblings and I all knew it and we were pretty sure my mom did too but all she did was to consistantly busy herself more and more. I had sat down with my father many times to ask him to slit up with my mother because it was very physically dangerous to be home when both of them were there and I was not ever going to lie to my mother if she asked me about it! They stayed married probably 10yrs longer than they safely should have but that was only because my oldest sister told them not to divorce before she finished high school because she "didn't want to be from a broken home". My parents turned a growing apart relationship into world war 3 in our house just for the sake of how it would look from the outside!
Anyways, when speaking to either parent just remember to let them know you only want to help because you care about both of them and that you're not trying to interfere in matters that are none of your business, you just want to help.
Even though you might find your parents' sleeping arrangement out of the ordinary it just may be thier own unique way and being different from everyone else can be a good thing.
Don't worry over this too much and if he is having an affair, remember it probably has nothing to do with you or your mother. I hope for all involved that he has decided to sleep downstairs because he gets better rest for his new job that way and I would like to believe he has been changing his ways because he is excited about his new job, wants to look young and fresh for his boss with his new clothes, maybe he feels being more social will help him in his job or to bond with co-workers. Was he in the same job before for quite a while? Maybe he has found new confidence in himself or he could be going through his own self esteem thing right now... men and women both can get uneasy with themselves as they get older and anything like a new job for example, can help them catch a bit of a youthful feeling they may have felt they lost!
There are many possabilities, you will only find the truth if you ask for it my dear.
Good Luck to you regardless of the outcome, they sure are lucky to have a child that loves them enough to care for them both as you seem to!
"If there were no problems, there would be no opportunities"
unknown
2006-09-20 20:50:48 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents can just be wierd... chances are your mom noticed the same things you did but it would be better to let them sort it out.. and commit any discovery on thier own part.
2006-09-20 18:20:43 · answer #11 · answered by ddg2sailor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋