Yeah, well i have a girlfriend and umm sometimes we talk about sex like, umm we shouldnt do it now and stuff. Im pretty sure we will do it later on in life once we are married, yeah im 15 by the way, she is 14. We are very sure we are going to stay together, ok whatever. Yeah i wouldnt go along with the sex if all a sudden things were leading to that. So yeah, if that time would come, at the time, how would i tell her or whatever like we shouldnt have sex? Back away or just tell her we cant do this now? Yeah i told her i would somehow back off if we were about to.
Ok yeah i guess, thanks everyone.
-Edward
2006-09-20 17:59:11 · 26 answers · asked by cursedconcept 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Oh well yeah im not sure i just dont like saying directly, thats why i "stutter". Also well we both are in love and we just changed each other so much. Yeah so its not some cheesy or weak wannabe love or fake love.
Yeah well we mostly want to do it when we are ready to have a baby, so that time isnt now of course.
Im not going to have sex now anyways, i just wanted to find out, what would be a good way to "back away"(?) from intercourse. Of course thats only now, since we are practically considered kids.
2006-09-20 18:14:45 · update #1
Edward, you are a rare breed these days my boy...
I think it's going to be perfectly okay for you to be straightforward with your girlfriend about this one and I'll tell you why.
It is your right to not want to have sex right away. At 15, you don't really need to be having sex anyway. Take this time to get to know each other better without letting the physical get in the way. It will make your relationship that much stronger for when you do decide to want to have sex. (and sex is way better when your bond is strong anyway)
Also, if she loves you the way you think she does, she will be respectful of your feelings about this and may even appreciate them. You know, she might not want to either but could be scared to say something.
And if she decides she doesnt want to be with someone who doesnt want to have sex, well, then you've not compromised your standards before learning about what type of person she is.
So waiting sounds like a win/win to me.
The best thing you two can do is talk to each other about boundaries. How far are both of you willing to let things go before you begin to feel uncomfortable or pressured? How far can you go before you feel you can't control yourself anymore? Start there and set the boundaries based on how you both feel about those things.
There's no reason you guys can't hold hands, kiss whatever but you really shouldn't feel rushed to have sex if you're not ready.
2006-09-21 04:14:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Aww. I was in the same position as you when I was 14. I was so in love and I lost my virginity. I don't regret it but now when I look back 10 years later I realize it is a lot to handle at that age.
So since you don't want to do it right now, decide on a place sexually that you want to set a limit. Like... nothing more than kissing and touching above the waist or whatever. So then you don't have to worry about how to back off at the time.
If you guys can't openly discuss this when it isn't going on, you have no business hooking up. You definitely aren't ready for sex if it is difficult to bring it up for discussion. I do think you should bring it up and set a limit like I said. Ask her what she wants out of things and all of that. Good luck.
2006-09-20 19:02:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no-one who is not ready to raise a child should have sex, if you mean penetration and the loss of virginity. this is true for adults as well a teens.
but there are lots of things you can do which do not involve penetration. sex is not an on or off situation. do not worry about losing control and having sex. you have far more control than you understand. what you need to consider are your options and there are many, none of which lead to pregnancy.
you problem is that you only see one act as sex. you are not looking at other possibilities. you got sucked into that sex ed class that spent all the time talking about intercourse and almost no time talking about kissing and touching and rubbing and licking and...
if you want to put off intercourse, that is one of the smartest moves you could ever do. if you think that this means no sex then you need to learn to experiment with each other. this is up to the two of you. you just might amaze both of you with what you can learn about each other body without ever having to worry about a mistake or an accident.
just promise each other that intercourse is out. then find out what is in. learn to express your love for one another. that is the most important thing. touch is a fantastic sense.
2006-09-22 18:19:44 · answer #3 · answered by Vivian Vixen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah, maybe it's me, but i dont understand the other answers... avoid places where u 2 can be alone???!!! ur in love man... u cant stay with ur girl on the street...
anyway... talk to ur girl dude... she will understand that u are waiting 4 the perfect moment... although the other answers talked about diseases and children... come on dude... there are many ways of protection if u want to do it...
another thing... be together forever?! u may love her, but come on... ur 15!!! if ur thinking of marriage now, what will u do after 15 yrs from now???
marriage is a thing that u must think about very very very very much... it's a decision that can change ur life...
i dont want to say bad things, so i'll let u figure them out... there will come a time when u won't be attracted to her as much as u are today... neither will her... what will happen then? just think about it...
ur way to young for this...
2006-09-20 19:12:29 · answer #4 · answered by Toaster o' Death 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm actually so shocked (no offence type shock) that you are being the opposite of teenage boys. (You both as teenagers). I mean, if you look at it, you are the rare type that is on here. So, I do applause you and her for making the decision to wait knowing you two are not ready etc.
As far as telling her, pretty much you just need to let her know "you both are not ready for it" if she feels you both are, then just need to express that when both don't agree, both don't do it since obviously both are not if you disagree.
You will have to find your own way of saying it since you are you. Our wording is different. Especially since we all come from different back grounds and have different relationship status where our partners require different wording as well.
I would let her know that you still love and care for her, but she knew and agreed that need to wait and assure her that. Make her feel special that you want to be with her and that day will come. but in the mean time, you will do other things to show your love for her.
I honestly think if she is serious as you are, she will understand and not argue it.
2006-09-20 19:01:17 · answer #5 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just set the boundary and tell her no sex until marriage. If you are about to do it, say no. I'm not too sure if it's real love because even fake, cheesy love can change a person. You are never too sure if you will end up together. Just wait until marriage and see what happens.
2006-09-20 18:25:49 · answer #6 · answered by Kenneth S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in most cases those we date in high school or Jr high are not the same people we end up married to. I am guessing she is also thinking about sex but also has doubts just like you do. if you talked to her you may find she feels exactly the same way you do. if you dont feel comfortable telling her that you are not ready or that you dont think the two of you should just yet then dont get yourself in situations where sex would even be possible. make sure others are around or you are in public. there are alot of adult consequences to having sex.....dont rush in to anything.
2006-09-21 04:10:13 · answer #7 · answered by doyalikethatdaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like with everything else sex comes with a lot of grown up consequences. There are a lot of things you have to think about ie. diseases, protection, getting pregnant and high emotions that go along with having intercourse. Just tell your girlfriend that she is special and you are willing to wait till you are both ready emotionally to handle such a huge committment.
2006-09-20 18:07:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I admire you for having such a thought like that. Waiting until you two get married. Yeah, you should. And the simplest way to avoid doing it is not to be in places where both of you are alone.
2006-09-20 18:31:30 · answer #9 · answered by ~Amor~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Edward, you are a sweetie. Don't ever let your bodily impulses take away that smartness of yours. If it does get down to that, girls can be just as quick to want to do it as guys, so you'll need to make your feelings loud and clear with your girlfriend, but tell her why or she'll think you just don't want to be with her. There is NOTHING wrong with wanting to wait...I did not, and it has been something I've regretted for years. Good luck, sugar.
2006-09-20 18:05:58 · answer #10 · answered by BooBadly 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋