Are people really uncomfortable around me because I'm shy?

Question

Some people have told me that most people are uncomfortable around me because I'm extremely shy. Another, person told me that it seems that I just want to be left alone. Why do people feel this way? I'm a really nice person only thing is I do not talk that much. I prefer when others start the conversation and I'll contribute to it. The truth is I feel very lonely most of the time and would like to meet new people and have more friends.
Do people feel uncomfortable or scared towards me just because I'm shy? If so, why do they feel this way? What can I do to make my situation better and make more friends?

Answer 1

Even though I don't consider myself shy, just quiet, people have said I give off a shy impression. As a result of that, I have found that other people who seem shy gravitate towards me, especially after they get to know me a little and find out that I am a very open and curious person. That opens them up as well, and I've found that a lot of people who seem shy initially have some of the most unique and imaginative minds, and they often make loyal friends. So if you want to make more friends, I would suggest starting with people who are like you. They will be more likely to understand you and be able to share activities with you. We all have a drive to find our flock. The thing is extroverts outnumber introverts at about 3 to 1. So it is likely that the majority will stigmatize you as an outsider and that your flock will be smaller and may be more difficult to gather. But I've found that a true sense of understanding and acceptance is worth it.

Answer 2

Yeah, I'm shy too. Most people view my introvertedness/quietness as though I'm either stuck up, standoffish and/or unapproachable. [I've been told that, I've been called an 'enigma' and they were surprised to see that I was the opposite. I've made friends that way.]

I also prefer when others strike up the conversation, s, I understand where you're coming from :)
But, I've found that just smiling at someone, a classmate or someone you meet, helps to ease the tension and makes me seem more approachable. After a while you become so relaxed around the person that you can start striking up conversations yourself.

Good luck :)

Answer 3

I can totally relate because it's something I have to deal with on a daily basis.
Normally, I get chatty only when I feel there's something worthy of contributing otherwise I just keep quiet to avoid embarrassment.
Sadly, people misconstrue this as a sign of arrogance & aloofness. For some people, silence is deafening, though for me that's not the case.
Sure I get lonely, I'm only human. Though, I will admit I'm not into the whole social scene so my situation fits me fine.
For you, I'd suggest to get involve in events like speech/ drama where you're required to have loads of confidence.
Or be active in sports or charity where you meet people and be able to socialise.

Answer 4

I honestly don't think people feel truly uncomfortable around you, but take this as a sort of warning: it's difficult to make friends without taking at least some initiative. Obviously, statistically 50% of all friendships will be initiated by the other person, but you miss out on the other 50% if you don't do something yourself. I know this probably isn't the answer for which you're looking, but it is something you have to be willing to consider.

Answer 5

Its how you project yourself that people see. So maybe when your feeling shy your wearing a face that says bored,angry,puzzeled,leave me alone,etc.., so others are reading you wrong.
Also maybe its hard for you to engage in conversation so other people are seeing this as a sign that you are not interested or interesting.
You are going to have to work on your people skills and the only way to do that is by engaging .You have to be able to talk to express really whats inside you. Do you understand? It will be hard at first but only you can fix this by engaging yourself in conversation. Make sure that you don,t continue to send the wrong signals to people and they will also engage .

Answer 6

I have the same problem a lot of times. People are really uncomfortable about silence (not me). I'm in the Pulp Fiction school of thought (from the scene where Uma Thurman describes "comfortable silence"). You just have to find some friends who don't insist on talking nonstop, and these people DO exist. They just tend to be shy :-)

Answer 7

They probably feel uncomfortable with awkward situations and if your shy then its a question answer conversation. therefore why waste the time..... mabye your projecting yourself differently then you think... Most extremely shy people are unfortunatly socially awkward making it hard to talk to them without feeling like your invading their privacy or pushing them to far... regardless of whether or not this is that case... Its like pulling teeth just to get them to talk etc

Answer 8

Yes, lack of involvement does come across as aloofness - whether you intend it to be or not. Just keep smiling and looking people in the eye - practice your skills all the time. Keep asking questions but don't reveal much about yourself. People will think you're great.

Answer 9

Me shy to:(
People dont under stand us. they dont know that shy people just take a while to get to know and that they do have fun. They think you are always serious. They dont know to keep trying and that eventualy we will come around

Answer 10

nah, its the same for me, i usually just listen to the person talking and contribute to the conversation
i am only in high school, so i dunno if its different for u if u're older
probably the ppl u hang out with arent all that good