My ex and I get along fine. She got paid her money from our house. She singed the divorce papers saying she wood not go for child support or alamony and we would have the kids 50/50. Now her boy friend got cancer and she is not work nor has she ever when she was with me. She had a job here a there but not for long. She is now trying to get child support from me. I need to see what I'm looking at. I don't mind paying support but what do you think it is going to be. I her it will be alot but I know it wont be for the kids.What do I do from here. I want to know if I will be looseing my house. I have been the one to keep a roof on my kids head. She was the one that let us and now she is going to get rewarded for leaving. Everything has been fine for a year now. Her boyfriend got sick and now the child support is on the way. Any help or feed back will help. Thank you.
2006-09-20 16:50:46 · 15 answers · asked by worried father 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, you're not gonna like what I'm about to say, but it's the truth. She's gonna get her way and you are gonna have to pay. Either by fighting it in court or just paying the child support. In the end, she'll end up winning.
I know it's a sad, sick world and that people are backstabbing liers who will do anything for a dollar. My ex is pulling the same thing on me. The good news is, I was doing everything right according to the law, she's the one pushing everything. It is costing me everything I have to fight it but in the end, she'll end up losing.
If you have an arraignment that is signed by the judge, it's hard to get it reversed unless there are significant changes. Just because she's tight on cash is not a good enough reason for her to pursue child support.
Another thing, getting written documentation of every penny you have ever spent on those kids and her since the divorce if possible. It will be very benefical to you as it will be credited toward arrearages. When I say every penny, I mean EVERY PENNY for EVERYTHING you ever bought for the kids and her.
Another thing, push the fact that she has not kept steady employment, nor have made any effort to finding steady employment as this will show the courts that she is the one not putting forth the effort. Also, contact a child support case worker ASAP as they will be able to work with you on determining what, if any, child support you may be responsible for. They could set arrearages going all the way back to when you got divorced too if the judge feels that way.
I doubt very much that her case will be very solid, due to the fact that you two have a signed documented agreement. As well as the fact that she hasn't held gainful employment since the divorce.
I wish I had better news, but look forward to a costly situation, either through litigation or by just paying the set amount of child support and arrearages. State statutes concerning child support differ in every state. Check with the Department of Child Support or the Dept. of Social Services in your state for a complete list of statutes and figures concerning child support. They will also be more than happy to answer any and all questions/concerns you may have regarding your situation. Also as for a child support referee to be present at your hearing or to just try to mediate the child support arraingments out with the three of you (your ex, the child support referee, and you). Bring your most current income statements, anything that can be used as standard income tax deductions, and papers pertaining to the previous arraingments made prior to this situation. It will help you prove your side of the case.
I hope that you are treated fairly and equally in the eyes of the law. If you do end up paying, do your best to pay the amount awarded to her. As far as making sure that the money goes for the kids, ask your attorney to draw up a modification of parenting plan. By drawing up some sort of agreement whether through a mediator or through the courts, you can make a stipulation to have her provide a monthly statement showing where the money is going. If the courts doesn't allow that, then once she starts getting more assets or improving her standard of living, you have the right to call for an audit and she will have to answer as to how she was able to get what she has.
If you have anymore questions, feel free to contact me. I'm going through the same thing myself. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-09-20 17:44:13 · answer #1 · answered by Lonewolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all 50/50 is impossible, my atty didn't get it until I explained it from the IRS stand point, to claim a child as a dependent they must live with you MORE than 50%, therefore the dissomaster software used to figure child support and alimony will not permit 50% to be entered. In the last year or two they have changed to get it as close as possible so now you can enter 49.9% and 50.1%. The amount of support and to whom it is paid is based on income and bills...filing status, fund going into retirement, pretax benefits and such! Thats why they came up with the dissomaster software, it makes it so much easier and most courts in the US use it.
2006-09-20 16:55:46 · answer #2 · answered by WitchTwo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to pay child support when you have 50/50 custody. However, she still could go back to court and get you for alimony. The court may reconsider the situation since she has never worked before. It is very possible that you have to pay. I would try to get full custody of your kids and make her pay child support to you. Go to your divorce lawyer and discuss it with him and make her get a part time job. Good luck!
2006-09-20 17:02:51 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry about your house!!!
when a judge sees the origional agreement ,he will want to know why now change it?
IF say she could proove that you never had the kids she MAY get a little,but since thats NOT the case here,she wont get anything,she allready aggreed to none! and since you both do half,no judge will change it! and even if they did,it would be very little,because as you said you have to keep the roof on the heads! a judge will see that if she files for money!she wont get rewarded! a jduge will see through her!
yup i have kids and have been divorced,my ex signed over full custody and didnt specify visitation,he tried to "fix" it when he moved 9 hours away,and got remarried ,the judge said,no you broke your origional agreement which was for THE SAME STATE and area,you left,she does not have to come there!
he comes here MAYBE 2 times a year.
have faith,the system usually works for the kiddos!GOOD LUCK to you
2006-09-20 16:55:53 · answer #4 · answered by adc7492 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
keep in mind that child support is always open she could ask at any time to re-open the case, but since you have 50/50 it should not be allot, it all depends how much you get paid.and if you have the kids the same amount of days like her then tell her well if I paid you child support will you paid me child support too. just save all you're receipt's of what you spend or buy for the kids. they help for proof if you go to court.
2006-09-20 17:09:23 · answer #5 · answered by MIRIAM T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to an attorney to be sure, but if she signed papers settling the whole issue when the divorce was finalized, then the whole settlement will need to be reopened and she will be forced to show a change in circumstances as to why she now needs the money for support of the children.
2006-09-20 16:56:06 · answer #6 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ya' know...sorry to say, the boyfriend is her problem.....know that sounds cruel, but I hate drama, and your ex not working,....those are her kids too....they come first before the new boyfriend...you shouldn't have to support her, because her new found love is sick,...let his family take care of him....why should you have to have the constant stress trying to be a good father, and have all the worries, so she can not work, and now ask for child support... get yourself a family lawyer and nip it in the but...there has to be a way to protect the father, when so many women use the child support thing as an income, instead of getting their *** up and getting a job....I am a female, and there ARE dead beat moms...she made her bed, let her lie in it!!!!!...I hate that crap!!!
2006-09-20 17:00:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
well,if you don't have them 50% of the time you will have to pay,but if they are with you 50% of the time you won't. It comes down to possession time.Then, it runs this way in Texas,10% for each child not to exceed 50% of income.So if you have 8 kids the most you will have to give would be 50%.I have 3 kids I get 30%
2006-09-20 16:59:19 · answer #8 · answered by kelliekareen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u can go on line for every state and get a child support work sheet the judge dosent decide it get the work sheet it copensates for the time u have kids, if u cant find it try your local court house they will give i to u u also will need a copy of your x check stub to figure it out
2006-09-20 17:03:17 · answer #9 · answered by docask 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
since you have 50 50 and she said she would not go for alomony and that is in the paper work i do not see that she really can make you pay anything if you do not want to. I would just call a local laywer that deals with divorces and custody of children and see what he/she says. I really do not see her making you pay anything. Since you guys are equal sharers of the children and pay half for the children but i would just ask a lawyer
well good luck.
2006-09-20 16:54:58 · answer #10 · answered by knowssignlanguage 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋