I have a good job and nice house a good family but i cant seem to enjoy any of it. I always have feelings of unhappiness and often find myself thinking of the past and asking what if i would have done this differently. i seem to live in the past or the future but hardly ever in the now. What should i do? Any help would be appreciated.
2006-09-20 16:25:25 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Wait for some misfortune to happen, then you'll appreciate what you have!
There are people starving to death, man!!!
Wake up, you're sleeping.
2006-09-20 16:34:25 · answer #1 · answered by gobervart 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
You need to start thinking realistically and not think of what might have been. If we all knew ahead of time, we all would do things differently. I know I would have. If you watch the news, are you not happy that you have a lovely and how blessed you are?
If you're really feeling so low and nothing can help, you need to see a professional, maybe you have a bit of depression, it's an illness that can be helped and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
I had it some time ago, but the doctor gave me medication until I could think clearly and think in the present, not the past. In today's world more people are feeling depressed, it's too much of a rat race and at work one is mostly a number and doesn't get appreciated, then the bad news on TV in the end it catches up with you. Go and see your doctor and tell him how you feel.
It might be only a temporary thing where the messages don't get from one half of the brain to the other. Good Luck
2006-09-20 23:36:16 · answer #2 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As long as you keep wondering if things could be better, you will never be happy. I think you are searching for happiness in the wrong places. The past is only good for learning from mistakes, not wondering what might have been. The future is not written, so it's useless to worry about it. We should behave in ways that are responsible so we have options in the future, but dwelling on the future will only frustrate you. Happiness does not lie at some point in the future or along some road that you should have taken in the past. Happiness is in the moment. It is in your heart. I think you are on the right track. Ask yourself what is most important to you. Perhaps you'll find that you already have it. If not, at least you'll have some direction.
2006-09-20 23:39:40 · answer #3 · answered by arcanefairy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps ask and answer a couple questions for yourself.
It often helps to put ones life in perspective just a bit. First take a piece of paper and write down what you wished you were doing? Then turn the paper over, and ask youself how come you are not doing it what you wish you were doing, and list these.
Chances are, what you wish you were doing cannot be done because you have a job and family. If this is the case, then there is a secret resentment running that is there, but denied. The lack of enjoyment you mention is part of hanging on to the resentment.... even though you are not consciously aware of having the resentment. If you get my point?
If you could accept a couple realities, it would go a long way to helping you enjoy the life you have.
1. Reality # 1. Each of us is doing precisely what he/she is fated to do. Argue this, deny it, resent it, but the wise person accepts it because it is true. Simply let go of the habit of looking over the fence at how green the grass is over there.
2. Reality #2. The only way to experience enjoyment is to engage in the act of enjoying....so, enjoy those with whom you have Karma, since this is what you have to play with. Life is really short, and every minute you do not engage in intimate enjoyment of your family is a minute that is gone forever.
At 71, I have as close a relationship as I can with my two daughters, but they have their own lives to live. I now realize how much time I let slip by that could have been spent with them when we were all together. Time not used is time gone.....
2006-09-21 00:11:45 · answer #4 · answered by docjp 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First, you probably should consult with a doctor about possible depression. Even if you're not chemically depressed, you might benefit from antidepressants until you get things figured out.
Second, we all hit a point in our lives where we've reached most of our life's goals (through school, in our profession, have the car and kids and house, etc) and find out that's not what will make us happy. At that point, we all have to "find ourselves", which is to say, to get to know, trust and like who we are.
As Madonna sang once, "Happiness lies in your own mind." That's the honest truth. You decide to become happy, then engage in the journey to take you there. Therapy might be part of that. Religion might be part of that. It's scarey... but exciting... and quite frankly, I'm glad that I've been going down that road for years. Follow your own bliss my friend.
2006-09-20 23:35:21 · answer #5 · answered by geek49203 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well of course today is yesterdays future and today will be tomorrows past so really you are living in the now as it will always be ...to change all of this one must look at changing the things you have been thinking about, for these things are are now all around you and may well be the things that are not generating any degree of happiness in you ,....think about this please
We are all the result of our past thoughts, thoughts beget actions
We are what we think...
An after thought ....the order in which you listed things.. job, house, family.......... this may be a clue .....
2006-09-21 00:09:09 · answer #6 · answered by Vivian X 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a case of too much good things and not enough misery in your life. Go volunteer for the homeless or anywhere they could use some man power to help the needy. You should get some joy out of doing it. And see how much you have over the ones who are living in poverty or despair.
2006-09-20 23:57:06 · answer #7 · answered by Believe me 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
sometimes it helps to make a list and see things on paper. If for instance you had married a different person how do you feel it would be better, how would it be worse? Make as many lists as you need. Maybe too you are in a rut. sometimes it helps to drive around in an area where things aren't quite so nice, so you have something to compare to.
2006-09-20 23:30:03 · answer #8 · answered by ladynamedjane 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's okay I shouldnt be in this time frame either wait oh I see
because u see the mistakes u made and want to fix them but u cant so you obesse about not making the same mistakes in the future I cnmt help u u have to help urself
2006-09-20 23:29:27 · answer #9 · answered by LostCause 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Do you have a terrible past?
Please seek some professional help before it engulfs you.
We are not perfect, and we all deserve a second chance, and sound like you have a really good shot at it. Don't mess it up.
2006-09-20 23:37:57 · answer #10 · answered by John D 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
life is not based on what you did in the past!
you are not defined by your mistakes!
my friend you are not alone! dont think on anything that is negative only on good things and keep a smile on your face!
2006-09-21 00:18:25 · answer #11 · answered by DUSTY 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋