Why is it, one always misses one more than the other, we have been broken up for 3 months, he has said some mean things to my sister about me, and he lets her know things, he knows she will tell me that will hurt and upset me, he shows ups where i hang out just to intimidate me, and i know he wants to make me uncomfortable, i have decided to move on, i really don't want him back, i know it will never work out ever again, yet why do i continue to think about him, he's a jerk, i just want my feelings of the man he was when i was in love to go away, because now he is someone i don't even know, he is a total jerk. How do I let go of the past because there is no future.
2006-09-20 16:10:55 · 19 answers · asked by snickerdoodle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm in the same position, but luckily my ex stays away from me, although he sometimes talks to my sister. Do you have a new bf? If you do, I'd keep close to him and put all your attention on him. It's easier said than done to just say stop thinking about him! I know, it's nearly impossible. Everyone says time heals all wounds, I certainly hope so. I'm counting on that.
2006-09-20 16:13:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is wrong with you. The feelings you have are very normal and shared by millions around the world. The problem is our inner desire for a different outcome when things don't work out. Haven't you ever taken a test, gave a wrong answer, and wished you had given a different answer? Have you ever seen a bad movie or eaten a bad meal and wished you have picked something else? Your mind is programmed to desire a better outcome because it's how humans evolve to become better.
I suggest counter-programming by visualizing how bad things can be if you get back together with your ex. Simply put, if you burn your hands on a hot stove, you will learn to stay away from hot stoves. The outcome is predictable. If you know your ex is a jerk, then you know that the outcome will be bad again even if they are good for a short while (the make-up part). Recognizing that your ex will burn you, and recognizing that you can get pleasure elsewhere besides your ex will help you move on. Time by itself does not heal wounds. Time + "new medicine" in the form of new love and new understanding will heal your wound and make you stronger.
2006-09-20 16:25:15 · answer #2 · answered by justdennis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is still very much in love with you or he would not do the things that he is doing. It is killing him to see you move on so he is being an ahole. We as women are very emotional and have a hard time forget. Move on. Once you find that someone you will be able to let go of the past. But don't let the ex know that he is bothering you that is what he wants.
2006-09-20 16:17:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard right now because he really meant something to you and those memories are precious to you. Believe me, with time it will get better. The best thing to do right now is to ride the tide, if you already made it up in your mind that he is not worth dealing with, stick to your guns. You dont have to let go of the past to move on, the past will always be there, just dont let it hold you back. Use the good and the bad to make you stronger.
2006-09-20 16:17:08 · answer #4 · answered by Lou Lou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a creature of deep feelings. The fact that it is hard for you to turn off those feelings is not necessarily a bad thing, so long as you get there eventually. Ask yourself this question: Knowing that he is, in no uncertain terms, a jerk, don't you deserve better than to be treated like crap by someone who is supposed to care for you?
2006-09-20 16:16:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT really is going to take time for you to forget him, but on the other hand how if he still shows up E -place that you do, well i think that he knows down deep inside that he has hurt you in many bad ways, and is keeping an eye on you to see if you got a new friend to hang into.. If it really does hurt you because you still care for hime then go to him.... GOOD LUCK...
2006-09-20 16:22:41 · answer #6 · answered by mike_m50501 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ohh~~ you sound like me yet in a guy type. i've got been walked over plenty and its rather difficult to say no to somebody and to be rude precise? nicely i think of i've got found out that the suitable way is to locate self belief interior your self and to renowned theres a distinction between "being rude to somebody whenyou might desire to VS. merely being a jerk to people" yet once you somewhat have been searching for a thank you to actual be rude to somene; whilst somebody tells you some thing or asks you some thing merely say "gotta bypass, I dont care, bypass ask somebody else" or in order that no interst in something. cut back down on being superb and spot if people word and if no longer forget them lol :3 i'm hoping that enables and in case you recognize something to assist enable me know~
2016-12-12 12:03:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is going thru the exact same thing. As I told her, the feelings will only diminish with time. It is hard at first, but make sure your sister stops him when he talks to her about you. Walk past him with your head held high and remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Believe me the day will come where there will be memories, but no hurt and anger. Good luck
2006-09-20 16:15:36 · answer #8 · answered by jewel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to control you .. your sister needs to quit talking to him as he is using her to get to you! In time you will get over him, one thing i've found though, the more I've tried to harbor ill feelings about someone who has hurt me, the more I think about them... I think it's an internal mechanism that we feel pity for them for being such jerks... we just need to try to remember the way they were and move on from there. Pray alot!!
2006-09-20 16:16:13 · answer #9 · answered by someone s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who broke up with who? Did you break up with him or vice versa? Because you act like your intimidated and uncomfortable, thats why he does it. He's an asshole. I'm sure that if you act like he doesn't phase you and he's not there, he'd probably stop. Anyways move on. Put your feelings behind you.
2006-09-20 16:23:21 · answer #10 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋