I'm talking a so called casual dinner with a friend. Just the two of them.
2006-09-20 15:24:01 · 27 answers · asked by RedC. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The fact that you say "so called" means that you obviously don't think he's just a friend. Do you have a legitimate reason for that? How does she know this man? Why are they having dinner?
There are reasons why this would be totally OK, in my book. Say this guy was a friend of her father's, or someone from her childhood or early life that she hasn't seen in years.
But if this is someone that she's only met recently, then I think it's not OK. Don't be hard on your wife, though. If this guy is 20 years older than her, then it may not have entered her head that it's anything to worry about. She sees him as an old man, not a person that she'd have any sexual interest in. I bet the old man is thinking that way, though, and you need to point that out to her.
Explain that all men, no matter how old, would find her attractive (flattery will get you everywhere!), and that this man probably has an ulterior motive in asking her out. Say you're worried at the thought of her putting herself in that situation. Suggest that if she really must go out alone with him, perhaps she should consider something safer, like a daytime meeting for coffee or lunch. Either that, or include you in the invitation ("after all, if the guy's not trying to come on to you, he's got no reason to object to your husband coming along")
That enables you to let her know what you're thinking, without accusing HER of misbehaving - which would only lead to an argument.
2006-09-20 15:50:55 · answer #1 · answered by Kylie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well do you trust her?? I don't mean to be judgemental, but it seems that you don't. Why are they having the dinner? Why are you not invited? All these questions pour to your head. Talk to your wife and ask her. Most husbands do not want that to happen cause either they are possessive, or they are afraid that something might happen. We all know that if you had a crystal ball and knew that nothing would come of this, you would not have a problem with it.
2006-09-20 15:29:41 · answer #2 · answered by james w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's never ok, unless they were related. I'd say you just gave your wife permission to cheat. I mean, if it were reversed, she would consider it cheating. Just because he's older doesn't mean anything. Alot of women are attracted to older men. I'd put an end to this, or at least question why you're not invited along.
2006-09-20 15:27:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is EVER okay for either of you to go out with a person of the opposite sex alone. If the person is so important, you should want your spouse there as well. What is wrong with her girlfriends? If you are even questioning the truths of the situation, it may be something more than she says.
2006-09-20 15:28:49 · answer #4 · answered by .*AnNa*. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are related, there's nothing wrong with it. If not, and if you both trust each other and agree to it, it would be ok once in a while.
I think if you were agreeable to her doing this, you would not be asking anybody, especial strangers, about when it is ok. Does not sound to me like you are in favor of it so in that case, I would say never.
2006-09-20 15:30:25 · answer #5 · answered by moekittykitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they've been friends for a long time or if they are coworkers going out for business it's ok. If it's a guy she's met recently it doesn't seem right. They might just be friends but it's a matter of respect for your relationship.
2006-09-20 15:27:07 · answer #6 · answered by sunssecret 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you are uncomfortable enough to ask this, then it's not ok. if they are just friends there must be some way for her to make you realize this and be ok. is it a special occasion or did they plan this and just leave you out? i've had men friends in my life but they got to know my husband and he could tell there was nothing to worry about. be honest with your feeling with your wife. she should want you to be ok with him as a friend, or she is trying to make you jealous.
2006-09-20 15:29:50 · answer #7 · answered by foxfirevigil 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know...20 years older than her? How does she know this man? Did she at least invite you or did she just tell you she was going? I would be a little suspicious...
2006-09-20 15:26:56 · answer #8 · answered by julieanthony469 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every marriage has its limits. If you 2 havent discussed the limits how can they be broken? In my marriage no it would not be okay because I have absolutly no trust towards him. In your marriage you may trust her and vice versa so she felt it was okay. Just discuss your limits with eachother so you both know what it okay and what is takin it too far.
2006-09-20 15:27:49 · answer #9 · answered by Jordan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The older men have the money, honey, but why is going out with him?
2006-09-20 15:27:03 · answer #10 · answered by tinamaries43 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋