My Dad says I'm too old for spankings anymore. I'm 16. He asked me what I thought a fair punishment should be. I stayed at a friends house for an hour too long. I told him I'd think about it and get back to him. He smiled, I think I'm off the hook, but what should I tell him anyway?
2006-09-20 14:52:29 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If you do it again then you should call him so he doesn't worry. But if you don't call then you lose a privilege
2006-09-20 14:54:41 · answer #1 · answered by alyson1hill 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes this is harder then you think. He is testing you. Why do you think you should be let off the hook? Do you have a curve? Did you consider calling your parents to ask if you could stay longer? I would let him know that what you did was inconsiderate and that you should have called to get permission to stay out longer. What time did you come home? Was it a school night? Anyway do you think it was okay to come home an hour later? How would you feel if it was your child? I would let him know if it happens again you will not be going to any friends house for 1 week , and there will be no friends over also.
2006-09-20 15:22:19 · answer #2 · answered by vickie g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him you deserve no more punishments because of all the unnecessary physical abuse he doled out, and that he's Lucky you DIDN'T go to the police and get him charged with child abuse. If he doesn't like that answer, and comes at you, GO to the police and ask that charges be brought up against your dad for chiled abuse based on the beatings, as well as harassment. Have him removed from the house.
If you think I am kidding, I was a dad and recognize what he did to you,. People are nuts.
IT soundds like if you do not get therapy, you Will repeat to your children what he unfortunately did to you. It';s a learned behavior, and children never derserve phsycial abuse. The pattern has to stop. Get into therapy.
Incidentally, if you wish NOT to follow my advice, ask him to put you into therapy, and them in Private, dump on dad by telling the therapist all about your problems with him and what daddy did in term so f all the beatings, berating you, etc. It will help you to learn about his mental sickness, and about you're taking it an it's effect on you and how you can heal from the abuse.
The last advice sounds better to me, because he will be unsuspecting that you will spill the beans to a professional, and that pro might have dad eventually get intop thjerapy and confront his terrible treatment of you.
What kids need is to learn ther responsibilites to one another, and their family members. Puishments should always be in response to the inffraction. Atrriving an hour late has to be discussed, not punatively dealt with. It seems you didn't care what dad said for some reasons. Discuss them in therapy..
2006-09-20 15:04:41 · answer #3 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no offense but i think it's sad that your own parent is asking you for a punishment...
a parent should have the right to do anything to their kid (being inside the lines) until they are 18 and outta the house. The parents payed for the house they go work for food and clothes and all that good stuff. I think if your 16.... your mature enough not to get in trouble and not get a "spanking"
dammit if my 17 year old son did something to piss me off i'd give him the head breaker of his life. Never would i accept a dumbass screw up in my house. You know why? because i'd love my son and i wouldn't want him to make stupid mistakes in his life.
Wow im only 15
time to get that aspirin........
2006-09-20 14:59:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
At sixteen years old, you should know the value of respect and responsibility. However, you didn't respect yourself or your parents, and you weren't very responsible. The responsible thing to do would have been to call your parents and tell them that you were going to be late, but it's too late for that. I wouldn't count your chickens before they hatch either. Your father is upset at you, and just because he smiled doesn't mean he was amused. The punishment in our household for disrespect is you owe the other person one chore. For lack of responsibility, you also owe them a chore. So offer to do a couple extra chores that your father would usually do.
2006-09-20 15:01:17 · answer #5 · answered by kc_warpaint 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Restriction from phone, restriction from going anywhere with friends, no t.v., extra chores. Those are all the things I do with my teen daughter. I'm thinking of taking away her make-up for a period of time since the others don't seem to affect her so much any more. Your crime would deserve about a week or two of any of these. If you drive, then that would be another option...to take away driving privileges.
My husband would say to write something 100 or more times.
2006-09-20 14:58:31 · answer #6 · answered by marincaligirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had several appifanies about how parents think compared to how I think. Honestly, you should never screw up the slightest bit, your parents gave you everything. Since most people aren't perfect though, a heartfelt apology (including statements of how you cans ee it from his point of view) will make you more mature, but as far as actual punishment goes, nothing beats a good old grounding from the phone, or computer.
2006-09-20 14:54:57 · answer #7 · answered by fret_guy89 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not off the hook. For being one hour late suggest some kind of household chore, taking out the garbage for a week, cleaning the bathroom, washing the car. Nothing to great, but enough to let him know that you are sorry.
2006-09-20 14:55:21 · answer #8 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you've learned your lesson and won't do it again. And keep your promise. But if he really wants an actual answer, maybe no more going to your friend's house for a week or two, or extracting an hour from your curfew for a few nights?
2006-09-20 14:54:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, it sounds like you have a great Dad. Don't abuse his trust in you by letting this go. He might not be so understanding in future. Maybe get him to take away some of your privileges for a couple of days such as not being allowed to go to your friends' house for a week or no TV for a few days. Simple things like that.
2006-09-20 14:56:05 · answer #10 · answered by Funny Bunny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Natural consequences make good punishments. If you were late an hour and were supposed to be doing something (say, washing dishes), you will just have to do those later, perhaps when a good t.v. show is on.
I ground my kids. That's probably not what you want to do, though. hahahaha
2006-09-20 14:55:08 · answer #11 · answered by bibliophile31 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋