There are times when I want to say, "I am gay!"
But then, I kinda hesitated on it. I once intentionally brought up a gay question, such as "how would you know you are straight if you have not experienced it with the same sex?" And I said I wanna experience it. But they thought I was only kidding (But I know most of them accept gay).
How do you come out to your friends?
2006-09-20 14:48:02 · 12 answers · asked by Travis 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
is it better to tell them while we are chatting online (ie. AIM, MSN, etc)?
2006-09-20 15:38:21 · update #1
I cheated and I did it on my blog. Don't do what I did. It worked out fine, but it was a really chickenshit way to do it.
First, I would read up on coming out and be sure you are ready to deal with the consequences. The best resource I have ever seen on that is this website:
http://www.joekort.com/articles60.htm
Second, take one good friend aside and come out to that person. Let them reassure you (or hate you) and deal with that. Then branch out to other friends from there.
It has also been my experiance that you shouldn't fear the rumor mill. Tell one person you know to be a bit... chatty... and everyone will know. This will give people time and space to digest, and when you come out to them, it will not be such a shock and they will have already been able to think about it beforehand.
2006-09-20 16:36:10 · answer #1 · answered by dani_kin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, DON'T tell them while chatting online because it's difficult to read their reaction.
Second, it depends on how many people you want to come out to -- just a couple, or a whole group of friends. I'm all for coming out and having good conversations about, but it can be a bit much after coming out to like the fifth person in one month. If you want to come out to a lot of people then just tell one, two, or three people you like and trust the most and ask them to maybe bring the subject up with the others. If the one's you come out are your good friends, you know they'll handle it respectfully and with dignity with your other acquaintances that you don't know that well. In my experience, that has always worked in an office environment, although I understand you may not be talking about an office environment here.
2006-09-20 17:06:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to come out with the fact that you are gay and that the friends you have may not be your friends. The way i see it if the lover in your life means anything, friends dont matter as much because in the end your lover should and hopefully be there for you throught thick and thin.
2006-09-20 14:53:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it when your ready is all I can say to you. I know its probably getting to you because I just started coming out to my friends and I know the feeling. I think its best to do it one by one that way you only have to deal with one reaction at a time. As far as how to come out to them? I came out to my friends by text messaging and IM. Its not the most traditional way, but it was a lot easier for me than when I told others to their face. Good Luck !
2006-09-20 17:05:59 · answer #4 · answered by c_jayo6 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the most important part of your question is that you said you "know most of them accept gay." There is no EASY way of saying it, becuase its so personal, but I guarantee if they are as accepting as you say they are, they will be fine with you coming out.
Just say it. "I am gay!"
2006-09-20 16:09:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be sure you're not going to change your mind, then tell them one at a time. I wouldn't do it in a group, because everyone takes the news differently, and some need time to absorb the news, while others will say, "Yeah, I sorta figured." You might need time to absorb THAT answer.
2006-09-20 15:33:17 · answer #6 · answered by michael941260 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just come out to each of your friends one by one. Also strike up a conversation concerning something about gay or lesbian people.
2006-09-20 15:59:49 · answer #7 · answered by Brandon 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you're ready maybe ask them, "What would you say to me if I told you I was gay?". Anyway, that's how I told my parents. To new acquaintances, I tell them that I'm not gay, I'm a guy that likes guys.
2006-09-20 14:51:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way is one-on-one. Then simply tell them. I did it this way and most everyone handled it wonderfully!
2006-09-20 15:29:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you know who you are, and you're comfortable with it (and you know your friends are accepting), then tell them when you feel comfortable telling them. if they are "true" friends, they will accept you just the same....
2006-09-20 15:09:46 · answer #10 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋