This girl and I have been talking for about 2 yrs. online. She is disabled and all she does all day everyday is sit in front of the computer and chat. Here's her main topics of discussion: complaining about everything (usually family members, her back hurting, etc.); this band we both like; complaining; and the band. Oh, and did I mention the band? Yes, she's a bit obsessed. And when I try to change the subject, she goes right back to them. I want to keep her company because sometimes I feel sorry for her sitting at home alone all day, but it's hard when she says nothing positive, except when it's about the band. HELP!??!
2006-09-20 14:32:40 · 13 answers · asked by ?~GotLove~? 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'm with swtz. Friendship should be a 2-way street, and it should be upbeat most of the time, although of course everyone has their problems. Even though you feel sorry for this chick because she's homebound, don't let the guilt guide you. She should find other fans of that band to chat with.
2006-09-20 14:37:51 · answer #1 · answered by Stimpy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but her being ina wheelchair does not make the personality. She chooses to complain, she chooses not to get out and live life. She chooses to be miserable Do you choose this also? Do not feel sorry for her that is what she wants. And no I am not being mean to someone with a disability. I work with disabled adults mentally and physically so I do know what I am talking about. She is also online and if you have never met her then I suggest just drop her considering you don't know for a fact she is even in a wheelchar. People online lie all the time for many reasons.
2006-09-20 14:37:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's a human being in pain and she does everything she can to distract herself from the pain. She complains about her back pain because it hurts all the freaking time.
Undoubtedly she's on pain meds. Disabled is the key word friend. I know, I've been disabled due to a brain injury for over four years. No one understands.
Try to be nice. Don't criticize. Don't promise anything you're not willing to deliver. And, just for me, let her down easy!
She may have to live with her disability for the rest of her life and she'll get to know rejection very, very well.
OTOH, don't be her "puppy dog"! Just try to disappear gradually. Depression is common among the disabled.
2006-09-20 14:47:38 · answer #3 · answered by Lance 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Research the band, show her you know all about them, then tell her how you feel, and that she has much more to offer and try to point out her strengths then ask her advice about something.
Some times when we want to help others, the best way is to let them help you...
2006-09-20 14:41:02 · answer #4 · answered by mark2zephyr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps her name is Brenna?
Well, let me tell you a story about "Brenna".
When I was younger I knew a girl that you're discribing and she was depressed because of her disabilities. She felt out of place, unloved, and disrespected. The way people looked at her and treated her, that's what discouraged her. She had a negative disposition except when she talked about "Good Charlotte".
I can only say that I never did help her get over her negativity. People like that have to help themselves. You can only help by saying nice things to her that can maybe boost her confidence up, even a tad bit.
2006-09-20 14:37:00 · answer #5 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
perhaps she's attempting to be u and emulate what u do bc secretly she desires to be such as you and admires the way you're yet she's attempting to perplexing....purely teach her ur extra constructive and forget approximately her and he or she'll get pissed off...btw i like combats
2016-10-17 08:57:30 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You met this person online?? Gee, that should be simple enough. Drop her. She isn't very entertaining and brings you down, so why don't you find another friend that is more exciting and positive to chat with?
2006-09-20 14:35:14 · answer #7 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Set aside some time for her, than when that time is up, go into invisible mode.
Don't try to meet her in person.
2006-09-20 14:39:12 · answer #8 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be like, "Hey why not think positively about life. It's not as bad as you make it out to be."
2006-09-20 14:37:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well ask her to stop talkin bout d band 4 a while ... :) :)
2006-09-20 14:39:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋