i have a kinda large problem...?

Question

heres the deal, i have a friend at school, his name is Tanner. he is gay, im not, but i still like him as a close friend. not like him as a BF just a close friend. but when my mom saw him she freaked out, and started makin fun of him! i dont like it, but i told her to stop and she just said well hes gay! i know that! how do i tell her i still wanna be his friend, i dont give a crap if hes gay! i like him, and hes nice! help me someone!

Answer 1

Your Mother is displaying Ignorance, if she is a religous person, remined her of "hate the sin, love the sinner" because that's how she believes, and thats a matter of allowing her to have her feelings about homosexuality!
If she is not religious then she is being racist, and trying to teach you to be as well, although she is proble not aware she is. Sticking to your choice of not judging another for thier lifestyle choice is commendable on you part.
But it is her home, you are a child so I will not tell you to go against your parents. Try to get her to understand.
Don't subject your freind to her ignorance if she is cruel to his face, if she is not then continue to be his freind, and to come over to your house (if allowed) maybe then she can get to know him as a person.
If your allowed to have him at your home, let him know how your Mother feels, he will have to understand that not all people are going to be excepting, I am sure he knows this. It will give him a chance to display his person and not his sexual orientaion, which by the way is most likely somthing a straight friend would not be displaying to your mother either!
If she prohibits him from coming to your home, this too you should tell him. But continue to be his freind in school and at other activties, and continue to educate your Mother on moderan sociality, and norms, as well as the laws in place to protect against discrimation.
But she has the right to her opinion, who she allows in her home, and also the right to choose to, or not to condon homosexuality, but she is not allowed to be slanderous, prevent or attempt to prevent someone from obtaining gainful employment, housing education, ect, ect, ect.
Also don't you use this to put a wedge between you and your parents, just as he has the right to choose is lifestyle, she dose too, and you need to respect that! She also needs to respect your choices, but give her some understanding on the issues. In us older generation(do to our social norms) we have not been exposed to these issues as your generation have been. I was well into my thirties before I had ever met a person that was openly gay. She is not at the same comfort level as you are.

Answer 2

First off your mother is not the only one with the problem. In the first line you typed he is gay, I'm not. Right away you had to point out to us that you aree not gay. Rather you are gay or not has nothing to do with this. You are a female I am assuming, so you could not be gay. You would be a lesbian. If you did not have an issue with gays you would not have had to tell us you are not gay. For a parent to make fun of someone that is your friend. Now that is very immature. When a person like your mother is that cold and incentive, there is not getting around them or getting them to change. For your friends sake, keep him away from your mother. From the sounds of it your mother will only keep making fun of him.... And listen, just because your friend is gay,does not mean that you ar gay. When you jump out and tell some that your friend Tanner is gay and your not, that is just like your mom making fun of him. You do not have to tell people that YOU are NOT gay. You being gay or straight has not a thing to do with your friendship...

Answer 3

Just tell your mom that. You care about him as a friend and it doesn't matter that he is gay or not. And if she doesn't want him hanging around then figure out a way to still spend time with him maybe at his place or the mall or something. Obviously your mother is not living in the 21st century and needs a wake up call.

Answer 4

First of all you must sit down and talk to your mother explain to her the way you feel and that you like girls but he is a great friend that you learned that you have learned to respect people the way they are and that you are very sure of what your sexual inclinations are, at the same time you must understand that your Mom my even make fun of him she is afraid you might be like him as well because you know attractions can come from one day to the other and even that you are saying that you see him as a friend , he might not , maybe he does not want to tell you being afraid of the rejection your mother it is just concern ...talk to her as you know that communication it is the best way for any type of relationship

Answer 5

As a parent she should know better. What did she say to him. You might want to talk to your mom and let her know how you feel. She might be scared that since you have a close friend that is gay that you are too. It might be her way of dealing with the situation. As a mom I know better then to make fun of my kids friends. Hopefully your friend understands and your mom is willing to play nice and listen.

Answer 6

Redneck,

When Mom makes fun of someone, there is not much you can do without being disrespectful (and that is not an option). You already told her how you feel. She's wrong, but she's Mom.

Continue to be a good friend.

Answer 7

Face it redneck-baby-doll, You're mom's an ignorant redneck jerk!!!!! No offense. You're friend's not the problem...SHE IS!!!

You can be friends with whomever you want and your mom doesn't have to like it. You should inform her that it's no different than making fun of people a different race then her.

I think it's probably best though that you don't bring your friend around your mother, as she's not likely to change her ways.

Good thing that karma will get her in the end.....

Answer 8

My best friend is gay, and he's the best thing that ever happened to me. Don't lose afirend over what other ppl think. A friend like that only comes once in a lifetime

Answer 9

so does this mean your mom has a problem with gay guys? even if she does tell her that there's nothin wrong with him being gay and you like him as a friend. tell her exactly how you feel about him. if she has a problem with that, then you don't have to bring him to your house anymore, you can just hang out with him somewhere else good luck!

Answer 10

You can still be friends with this guy. I just wouldn't bring him around your mother until she educates herself on how to act around people that are different than her. You would think that your mother would know better and not set that kind of example for you. I have taught my kids to accept everyone for who they are on the inside. Race, sexual preference, or disability shouldn't be an issue when you truly have a good friend. Shame on your mother.