What makes you stay in the marriage?
2006-09-20 14:26:16 · 14 answers · asked by applecheeks 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This question caught my eye because my husband and I were once having a lot of problems and I wondered how we would ever make it. So, I didnt' hate him, but I certainly wasn't thrilled with things. I am sooooo glad we stuck it out because we are closer than ever now. On Saturday, we will have been married for 15 years! I can remember watching the fireworks with he and our 2 children one year and thinking...this will most definitely be the last fireworks we will watch together because things had just gotten so bad. We were about to call it quits for sure, but then we had marital therapy and it helped. Now, we work harder at our marriage...dont' give up! There are probably a lot of hurt feelings in the marriage and sometimes things look like they will be impossible to resolve. I'm glad I stayed married and I am so glad I am not with anyone else...I would hate to have to go through all of that getting to know someone again. I am with someone who already knows me and loves me despite my faults. By the way, it took me saying it was over for my husband to agree to get help with me. So, if he or she says no to you...don't assume that is the end of it. Good luck! I just hate seeing people throw things away before they have tried every possible thing to make things better. Make sure you are giving it your all! Take care.
2006-09-20 14:45:51 · answer #1 · answered by ShineOn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate is such a strong word. I dislike my husband cause i have found through the 5 years that we have been married plus the year we lived together i really should have never married him cause we have nothing in common. He does everything different than me . He never talks (i do) sometimes i wonder if i am talking to myself. He is not outgoing at all and i am. He is lazy and i am not. He dos not like to do anything and i do sometimes. i like to be around people and he does not. I have threathened to leave 2 times already and am really close again. I just do not think this is how it should be when you are married. I know i have my faults also but this is not going to work out cause he has always been this way but in the beginning it was not this bad. I stay in the marriage for a lack of a place to go. Oh i could start over again i have before but i guess i am waiting for the right time and it has not happened yet. Guess i have not got sick of it enough yet.
2006-09-20 14:40:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one is ever stuck. If you want out you will always find a way. If he is aabusive and your worried about your safety then find a relative that you can live with or find a shelter for battered women. People stay together because of children, money, or they think that they can not find any one else who is going to want them. ( If you think that no one else will want you then no one will it's all in your head.) Some people think that staying in a relationship because of the kids is the right thing to do but it isn't. It will only hurt them in the long run. If your not happy then your kids will not be happy either. They can not listen to you fighting all of the time they will grow up thinking that it's the right thing to do. Trust me everyone will be better off if you get out.If your not happy then you will be in a bad mood and be depressed all of the time and it will eventually wear off on your children. Life is to short to be unhappy. My sister is unhappy in her marriage and she will not leave because she thinks that she won't be able to pay her bills without him. Well needless to say she is very depressed she is not the same person that I used to know and the kids are the same way.
2006-09-20 14:45:17 · answer #3 · answered by lem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two things called counseling and/or divorce for those who apparently hate eachother.
The real question is, what went wrong in the relationship that this loved turned to hate?
If it was infidelity, then divorce is the answer because cheaters will only make you miserable.
However, if it is caused by lack of communication and compromising (which most are) then the two of you, rather then feeling "stuck", should get counseling. I mean, if you don't want to be stuck you should work on feeling that love that you've felt before.
2006-09-20 14:33:55 · answer #4 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have told my spouse of 15 years that I hate him several times and truly meant it. But, I know that I love him and it was just out of anger. All though there has been times that I truly believed that I hated him and told him I wanted a divorce. Over all, I know deep down that I don't hate him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. People say things just to hurt the other person.
2006-09-20 14:55:23 · answer #5 · answered by aloneathome 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who is staying in a poor marriage because they have three young kids. He is doing his best to work things out. I guess they've been on the rocks off an on for years.
2006-09-20 14:31:08 · answer #6 · answered by pamgissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you stuck? You need to tell us that. Very few people are truly stuck in a marriage, they are either too scared, too lazy, or using their partner for financial support
2006-09-20 15:33:18 · answer #7 · answered by Kylie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you hate them get out now. I stayed for 12 years after finding out my hubby was cheating. I stayed "for the kids". What a mistake . The day we separated my kids thanked me and said the black cloud was gone. Life is too short .
2006-09-20 14:31:14 · answer #8 · answered by june.johnston 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't hate my wife but we are not as close as when we started. Been married 29 years and we are still working out the bugs. We have or sons , and our home , and our jobs also I don't want to be without her.
2006-09-20 15:38:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope i love my husband, but he knows im here cause i want to be here even when times are hard.. im never stuck... and i know i can survive with out him, but i choose to be with him.. and to live up to the vows ive taken and the promise i made before him and god..
2006-09-20 14:36:39 · answer #10 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋