My new wife and I don't see eye to eye on this one after talking it through, so for fun, we're putting up to your vote - who's right and why. Came back from honeymoon 11p Sun night - I had to work next day, she had wedding follow-up stuff to do. She wanted to go out dinner with her friend who picked us up from the airport - had a craving for something. I said not hungry, don't want to go, and prefer that you stay at home at 11p on a school night following a honeymoon and spend last hour or so awake with me getting settled in, etc. I told her she could go if she insisted, but also that it was rude and inappropriate in my opinion. She went, I got upset.
2006-09-20 13:45:21 · 14 answers · asked by heart_and_troll 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Wow hard to call this one, too many factors not mentioned. So I will take it from a scenario guess. Assuming you were home from the airport and car was unloaded and the "friend" was female and very close your wife ie. best friend. I would support your wife, she probably wants to talk about all the juicy details of your "honeymoon". But if this dinner "date" was decided while still in the car driving home from the airport and the friend was not a best buddy or possibly an ex boyfriend the you have my support.
I don't think that being a school night would factor in the equation.
2006-09-20 13:54:42 · answer #1 · answered by Brutal honesty is best 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see a big deal in her wanting to go out with her friend. She probably wanted to share all about the honeymoon with her. You know, girl talk. You just spent the honeymoon together, so it's only one night that she's not with you while you're awake and getting settled in. As long as she doesn't make a habit out of it. No offence, but you kind of sounded like you were playing dad telling her you would prefer her to stay home at 11pm on a school night. I'm sure she's grown up enough to know the consequences of lack of sleep. I also know a lot of girls who would rather stay home with their new husbands (me included) and just catch up with the friend the next day (while you're at work) but I don't know the full situation to comment on that.
2006-09-20 20:56:14 · answer #2 · answered by Mommy2Liam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say you both should chalk this one up to a learning experience. Most likely she slept on th eplane and you didn't so she was hungry and ready to go a bit when you needed downtime.
If you don't want her to go just say I'd rather spend time with you and ask her to stay. Just like when women say you don't have to xyz and they get mad you did not do xyz when they really wanted you too you have say too what you mean.
It could also be after the honeymoon she needed some space too it is a tad overwhleming and sometimes women need girl time.
It certainly doesn't seem to be something to worry about or argue about at such an early stage.
Parents always say pick your battles- this is one of those times.
2006-09-20 20:51:19 · answer #3 · answered by Answerkeeper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think that she should have stayed with you because it was your first night back from your Honeymoon. You should have spent waking hours together in your home. Don't mean to put salt on any wounds here, but yeah that was sad and mean. Any other time, sure it wouldn't have been a big deal, but you will never get your first night back! Sorry. Good Luck on your marriage.
2006-09-20 20:54:42 · answer #4 · answered by nikki_butterfly777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u guys spent ur honeymoon together that means u spent ample time together, and u didnt want to go then why should that stop her? U said u were gonna be awake for an hour or so, I mean she could be equally upset for u not doing something with her, I think u should pick and choose ur battles and to me this aint one...
2006-09-20 20:54:12 · answer #5 · answered by sunflower4140 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right, but that's irrelevant.If you want the marriage to last, you can't argue about stuff like that. Even if you're 100% right, arguing will just cause tension. I think over time you both realize what the other person is like, and what is acceptable behaviour. Your wife should realize that she can't do what she did when she was single, and has to now consider the reaction and the feelings of another person. But you can't say that to her, you just have to make her think she's always right, and you'll both have a long and happy marriage. Good luck!
2006-09-20 20:52:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
pick your battles dude. sometimes loving someone means letting them win just for the sake of not fighting over something that in the broad scheme of things is trivial. the first year of marriage is hardest, and the first 5 years are tough too. get thru it, and you will be doing good. remember that you married a human. loving someone doesnt mean that they will never tick you off or hurt you. it means that even when they do, you stand by them. as long as she isnt making a habit of walking all over you, then chill out. you are individuals AND a couple. if she wants to go do something on her own now and then, so what?! as long as whatever she is doing is appropriate. take the time to enjoy something that you want to do. when she comes back, you will both be refreshed.
2006-09-20 20:50:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you got upset over nothing. As partners in a marriage, you are going to have to learn to compromise from time to time. If you were tired, but your wife wasn't, why shouldn't she spend some time with her friend? I know you wanted her to be with you, getting settled in, but you have your whole life to be together. A little separation now and then is not a bad thing.
2006-09-20 20:58:12 · answer #8 · answered by johnsredgloves 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I wouldn't have gone out with others if I was on my honeymoon or close to it. I also think it was wrong of you to "allow" her to go out. She didn't need you to allow her. Maybe she wanted you to go with her to dinner? I just don't see who's the most right here, sorry...
2006-09-20 20:55:40 · answer #9 · answered by Magnuna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You told her she "could" go? And I don't get the part about it being a "school night". What are you, her father??? Please don't try to take a parental role with your wife. My husband does that, and it makes my blood run ice cold. I just don't see how going out for a bit with her friend is "rude". She was probably just excited to share details of your trip with her. Don't smother her.
2006-09-20 21:09:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋