My mother is old (83)and wants money from me athough she has good pension.We are arguing about .?

Question

Recently I have inherited from my uncle a realatively big sum of money and some real estate. However, my mother who is 83 years old wants money from me despite the fact that she has a good pension (she was a doctor). My father is dead, she is alone and now my family is moving to another apartment - summary: we are arguing, and the situation is very complicated - she wants to die etc.

Answer 1

Wow…
If she wants to use the money to help her die, then I can certainly appreciate your concerns !!!

Do you know what she does with her pension money?

Is the possibility of her living with you, something that can be considered?
She shouldn’t be left to live on her own, if she is wanting to die !!!

(Damn I hate these questions…)
I have to go to get ready for work…
You may need to consider a ‘Power of Attourney’ to take control of her financial dealings…
Try to come up with some alternate accommodation where your mother is not left on her own.
I’m sorry I don’t have any more time to work on your question.
I hope things work out for you and your mum…
Good luck !!!

Answer 2

Speaking from a mother's point of view (having 3 of my own children). A mother sacrifices a great deal to bear, raise, and take care of her children. MOST mother's don't put a price on child rearing and love. You mother, being a doctor(retired) she obviously worked hard for you to have a good home,food,shelter etc. Consider the UNCONDITIONAL love she gave you regardless of good or bad times- she did her best for you and your siblings ( if any). Now may be a good time to show your mom some unconditional love and help her thru her loss of your father (no matter how long ago he passed). She deserves MUCH more than money for raising you and taking care of you the best way she knew how. Think of what your father would say about it if he were still alive. Thank God you still have a mother to argue with at the blessed age of 83, and think about how the fighting would possibly hurt your father if he was in the background watching you fight with your mother. I am blessed to still have both my parents alive and still married, and if it were my mother, I would not hesitate to give her ANY part of ANY thing I have....
May God bless you and my condolences for the loss of your father. You and your precious family will be in my prayers.

Answer 3

Just because your 83 years old and well financed does not mean that you are not free from being greedy and manipulative. Sounds like you are being played for a gullible fool. Keep your money. She's 83 years old. She could drop dead any minute and I bet you won't get it back through an inheritance.

On the other hand, this might be some kind of loyality test. You know her better than I do. What do your instincts tell you it is?

Answer 4

I know it doesn't seem fair but she did bring you into this world and she won't be here much longer.
If it weren't for her, you wouldn't be inheriting anything, you wouldn't exist.
I would suggest being generous and giving her some money, she'll be happy and pass away happy when the time comes & then you won't have to live in regret and guilt if she passes away.
I could see if she was 30 or something but really, she's 83 and although she has a good pension, your her son and should give her some money to show your appreciation and love for her.

Answer 5

your mother is (83)and wants=it doesn't matter what they want they just want, addressing the book on codependency when their that old the ego grew weird. it part of the disassembling of the anatomy at that point in life, the stress that they missed something in the world will somehow trigger the dementia aspects of their personalities and all of us have plenty of personalities.(doormat) so you probably have more of a medical problem and can be adjusted in your care to have the prescription adjusted to control this type of behavior and it will help to always go along with the subject just to defuse the situation so you can move away from the gaps with as little damage as possible, some times having the money can be a valuable assets to control this. u haven't said if you are responsible about being a care giver in charge of her situation? if it looks like a lil' would curb the reasoning to being more acceptable under duress of unwanted challenges

Answer 6

Your mother may be suffering from some level of dementia.

Does she have everything she needs? Or wants?

What would she use the money for?

In the end it's only money. You'll have to live with the memories of your mother's final days for the rest of your life.

If your uncle had mega-bucks and your mom became a doctor you should now be capable of building your own wealth. Give mom what she wants within reason.

Answer 7

Sounds like my grandmother. I think the older they get the more childish they act. I think if she can afford to take care of herself and she is not lacking for food housing and medical or all the other things she need then tell her no. I think she is using the whole I want to die as a way of getting you to do what she wants. My grandma does that to my mom. We move my grandmother in with my mom 3 yrs ago after my grandpa died, Every time she does not get what she wants or is irritated with my mom she tell her well I guess you wish I was dead or some other stupid comment just to get to my mom.

Answer 8

It may not be a money issue, after all. Sounds to me like she is feeling her mortality and wants closeness and comfort from you. She wants someone to take care of her and help her to feel loved. The first thing you mentioned was your inheritance. The last thing you mention is that your Mom wants to die. It sounds to me like your priorities are lined up the same way.

She gave you life. She's a widow. You are moving away.

Have compassion! Be there for her; take her out for meals, buy her nice personal things, be a great listener, share things with her, help her to still feel a part of your life.

Hang the money! You only have one Mom, and she's not going to be here forever! I'm ashamed of you! :(

Answer 9

make a point to spend more time with mom. sounds like she's using the money argument as an excuse to garner attention from you because she is lonely and depressed. wanting to die might stem from depression or from the fact that she was a doctor and knows how older people are not treated well in medical facilities. it's possible that she fears that because she has outlived her usefulness as a doctor, she has outlived her usefulness as a person to society and to her family. that isn't true and you should make a point of making her feel like she has a purpose in your lives.

Answer 10

I know how you feel,I also am inheriting a large amount of money,I have had so many people ask me to help them,but,if it where my mother,I would give her a piece of paper and have her list what she needs the money for and sit down and talk about it and maybe if for good reasons,give it to her,she took care of you and loves you no matter what!Good Luck,I know it is hard to have a lot of money and people know about it!