He doesn't get angry often but whenever he does, this is how he behaves. We've been married almost 30 yrs and I love it when he's not at home because I feel relaxed. I'm totally sick of walking on eggshells (I have anxiety problems over this) and I really hate it when he does it in front of my kids. I usually make him apologise and he does, but lately he won't say sorry and he just insults me more. I give up!
2006-09-20 13:13:26 · 39 answers · asked by LuckyO 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So you want to stay anyway because you remember how good it was when he was your man. He obviously feels he is not living up to your expectations and is undermining you to compensate. Do let go. If he insults you tell him you see his point and do make an effort to address his complaint. Do not argue. Try this for a couple of weeks, act towards him the way you acted before the kids came along. Let him have time to adjust...oh, and admire whatever you can find to admire...You know you are a beautiful person and what he is doing is wrong, and he knows it, too....
2006-09-20 13:20:56 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Even after 30 years together you need to let him go, if you enjoy being by yourself than be by yourself without the stress of an unappreciative man. I felt the same way as though I had to walk on eggshells but you know what those eggs soon became hard boiled. I got a backbone left him and now he's the one walking on eggshells to the point where he now feels the anxiety. It's bad to say but you should always treat people the way you want to be treated because taking the abuse will make you feel like you will never enjoy life.
2006-09-20 13:19:49 · answer #2 · answered by t_tneal27 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, that's verbal abuse, and you don't have to put up with it. After that many years, if you feel uncomfortable then something is definitely wrong. You need to sit him down, and and have a little chit chat, telling him about how he makes you feel, and if he doesn't have enough love & respect for you to make some changes, then make arrangements to not be there, one night when he comes home to an empty house. That will either slap him with some reality that "yes" you meant what you said, and he'll realize he needs to start treating you with respect, or if it doesnt change anything, then at least you have an answer, whether it smarts or not, at least youll know what you need to do next.
As for children, its not healthy for them to witness this kind of thing, they could be like that to their spouses when they get older & marry.
Take a stand, no one can change the situation but, you!
2006-09-20 13:22:11 · answer #3 · answered by Katz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you've been married for 30 years and he does it in front of your kids? Young children, or adults? If you have been married for 30 years, I'm wondering if this is a recent change in his behavior or if he's always been an emotional abuser? Why don't you turn the tables on him and dish it right back to him? There's no reason you should have to put up with him belittling and humiliating you. Fight back. Don't be a doormat he can crap all over.when he feels like going on a tirade..
2006-09-20 14:49:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Verbal abuse cuts to the heart... You shouldn't have to walk on egg shells as you put it around your husband or in your own home... To give up is to let him have control over your life... Stop and think about what you are teaching your children... You are teaching them this kind of actions are ok... IT IS NOT.... Know one should have to live like that... Do your self a favor... Get out of it... Get some respect back for your self.... Take back control of your life and your childrens....
2006-09-20 13:24:17 · answer #5 · answered by levita45 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can advise you what to do. Only you know what you want from life. These insults will not stop, they will gradually increase and may even end in violence. You don't deserve this and your children should not hear this. You already have anxiety attacks, walk on eggshells, and fear your husband's mouth.
Do you want to wait for his fist?
2006-09-20 13:20:39 · answer #6 · answered by majajarany 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's highly unfortunate that children are involved. You should've left him a long time ago before innocent lives were involved. Now they are possibly going to grow up and be just like him. Leave if you're able. For your children and your own mental safety. What's being witnessed by these children really goes deep into who they become as adults.
2006-09-20 13:19:03 · answer #7 · answered by J P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's emotionally/verbally abusive and you need to get away from him. He is not setting a good example for your children. Now you will be setting up 3 people to go out in to society with some warped morals who think that insulting people is okay. Leave him. If not for yourself then for your children.
2006-09-20 13:16:17 · answer #8 · answered by BlueChimera 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can I ask you a question,honey? What on earth are you still doing with this horrible person? Life is to short to stay in a relationship with someone who uses you for a doormat. Like a snake shedding it's skin you need to shed yourself of this abuse. It is nothing but abuse. Think about your kids they do not need to witness this . If you can leave this situation now. You are far to good for this type of treatment. If you need to talk e-mail me anytime. Good luck Girl and get out. Don't waste another day with this----------.
2006-09-20 13:30:06 · answer #9 · answered by tracytracyspikes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would seek out the advise of a certified counselor, who can help you understand why you want to live this way.
At 30 years your children must be adults, if not they are watching him abuse you and statistics say they will either be the victim or the abuser.
You must make this decision yourself, good luck.
2006-09-20 13:20:30 · answer #10 · answered by Just ME 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋