Can a man and a woman be a good friend for life with out have any intimacy?

Question

I have a friend in New York who is 36 years old. I am 53. We met on the chat line 4 years ago. I invited him to London. He stayed with my family. My children gave me 2 tickets to take a friend to Spain for my 50th birthday. I took my friend with another girl friend from work. Three of us shared the same bed room (not bed) and had a wonderful holidays. He came to London last year too. He is so good and always there when I need advise. He invited me to New york too. I spend my holidays with him. I cooked for him and packed lunch for his work(three days he had to work before taking his holidays to spend with me) I tidied up his house. when he came home he was so happy to see food on the table. we watched tv, went out for meal, sight seeing, shopping,laughing and joking until bed time. we had separate bed rooms.We never promised marriage. Every week we sending each other e-mail. Even just to say " have a good day at work" Now he want me to come to New york again for holidays.

Answer 1

Yes, it's possible.

Intimacy really just means that you're close. You share your dreams and secrets. You have things in common. You enjoy spending time together. You're comfortable with each other. You like, or maybe even love each other. It doesn't have to be romantic. You can have that kind of connection with anyone - a friend, a relative, etc.

You don't have to have a sexual relationship with someone in order to be their friend, or to be "intimate" with them.

Answer 2

I believe that they can be best of friends; especially if one is gay. If both are straight, that can pose some tension if one or the other begins to date, because the "new person" may not feel comfortable/may feel threatened by the original friendship.

If either person does go ahead and marry, then the original friendship will have to take a permanent back-seat if the marriage is to succeed. The mate would have to come first in all things.

It's ideal when neither person has any other committments, but the relationship will shift if another person comes into the picture and a serious relationship takes root.

For now, it suits you both. No problem. Just keep it in mind that if he finds someone, you need to be willing to step aside and possibly loose that friendship forever. People come and go in our lives all the time. Some for the short haul; some for a lifetime. Just enjoy the friendships you make along the way and know that you are blessed to have found a few really good friends on your journey through life.

Answer 3

How I envy you to have a good friend like this guy --- it doesn't matter what sex this person is. It is just great to have someone who shares things with you on every level.

Can a man and a woman love each other very much without any physical intimacy? Yes, I think they can but it is not something that happens very often. It takes two very special people for this to happen. Maybe the age difference is a factor here but I think you two have respect for each other and love each other as persons rather than sex objects. Sex is over emphasized in today's world and people don't know that between human beings, there can be true asexual love.

Answer 4

Yes, it is possible, but not probable, especially if there is the least spark of more on either side. Spending time together in the same house increases that likelihood.

It would be 'safer' to stay in a hotel, or with each others friends or family. I am saying this because if there was no attraction, you wouldn't be asking this question. If it did become more, then you would need to decide how each of you felt about the age difference.

Answer 5

Of course you can darlin. Im assuming there is no physical atrraction? Either way, it sounds like you've got a really good friend as does he. Dont listen to people that say its not possible. And as for being older.. it doesn't matter. Ive had a fella as a best friend for 11 years. He's always on the phone and emailing. I see him all the time. Its great getting a blokes advice when you've troubles on your mind. And we know we can tell each other anything. You're lucky having such a good friend babe x

Answer 6

Then hey, you should go, I'm married but have a few Woman Mates, that I sometimes pop out with for a chat or meal, my wife the same, theres never anything else in it.If you enjoy the company you get on well then why not -What have you got to lose, seems you both get the best of both worlds to me, friendship and both get to visit great places for ur Holidays.

Answer 7

As long as you're not physically attracted to one another it's very possible. I have a male friend like that as well and it works because I'm not physically attracted to him, the thought of kissing him actually seems gross so he is really like a brother to me. Plus if after all the time you've spent together he hasn't made a move, he probably thinks of you as a sister anyway so it looks like you've got a good friend which is great - good friends are hard to find these days.

Answer 8

I think you two probably have feelings for each other b/c of the amount of time you spend together and communicating. Plus, if you didnt have feelings for him you wouldnt have asked the question.

I have been "friends" with a guy for many years. On night when we were "just hanging out" he told me, "I have always loved you"
and in the past I have had feelings for him too but always claimed to be friends. We have feelings for each other but we dont take it further.

Answer 9

ive had a guy friend for nearly 19 years and none of us think of each other in a sexual way we both love each other as friends and he is the person i want to walk me down the aisle if i ever get married because i love and respect him like a family member, so yes u can have platonic relationships with the opiset sex without any thaughts of a sexual nature towards each other

Answer 10

Its VERY possible. The only problem I foresee is if you ever meet someone you want to have a sexual/physical relationship with, as they may have a hard time understanding this connection. In any case, this is a rare and beautiful thing you and this gent have found! Bravo for you both!