I recently caught my husband masturbating while using Yahoo. He claims he was viewing a picture of a woman fondling her breasts (someone he says he does not know) via a webcam.
I think its disloyal, and I am looking for input from other men and women.
2006-09-20 12:36:02 · 43 answers · asked by Judy S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dear friend, yes, this is considered cheating! I think that you know that in your heart, too, and are just looking for some support. What your husband is doing IS CHEATING. Although he may not be physically active with another woman, he is cheating on you emotionally, and that can be just as destructive. What he is doing is hurting you (which is obvious, otherwise you wouldn't have posted the question), disrespectful to you, and is cheapening your relationship. Please talk to him about this! Tell him that it bothers you and it hurts you and that you would like him to STOP. Even if he doesn't understand, and thinks that you are overreacting, if he really loves you and cares about you, he will understand that it means a lot to you, and will be willing to stop because he loves and respects you. If he doesn't, you are stuck in a very hard spot-- you can choose to stay with your husband, but live with the knowledge that he is looking at porn, always worrying that one day this "emotional cheating" will turn into a real-life physical affair with another woman, and knowing that your husband doesn't love you or respect you enough to stop, or you can leave, which may be hard, but at least you will retain your pride and dignity and respect, and you will be free to find a man who TRULY loves you. I hope this helps, and if you need any more support on the matter, I went through this about a year ago with my fiancee, and I would love to help you in any way I can, so please contact me if you wish (Kittykate0@yahoo.com). Good luck!!
2006-09-20 13:26:26 · answer #1 · answered by carolina3415 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, he was cheating. He vowed to be faithful to you when he married to you. It's one thing to masturbate. Many people do. But to do it while viewing porn or watching a woman fondle her breasts is cheating. It doesn't matter that he didn't meet her or touch her. He needs help. If he keeps doing this I'd seriously consider divorce. Who knows what other behaviors is doing, or may do in the future. I'm sorry for your situation. I know you must be hurt and angry. You must feel cheated. What he's doing cheapens your relationship. I pray he'll turn his life around. God bless!
2006-09-20 12:51:58 · answer #2 · answered by celticwoman777 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
MY way of thinking about it (with my own boyfriend):
I get mad if:
1) He spends over the agreed amount on porn.
2) He sexually rejects me. This does not have to be related to anything, I just don't like to be told "no" when I come on to a guy.
The online thing is tricky, becuase he could be emotionally investing himself in what is, basically, a fantasy.
If he is paying the girl per minute, then he probably knows the boundaries between reality and fantasy....and it is just another (more interactive) pornographic and masturbatory activity. Who can fault a guy (or gal) for getting off or looking at porn (unless it's against your religion- but that's another issue)?? If he is spending "too much money", it becomes a more of a financial thing (is it affecting you and your family adversly).
What would worry me is that if she willingly got nude on cam for free- because then it would hint at some sort of "relationship". Also, if she willingly got nude for free, it might mean that he is a smooth talker and tried 1,000 other women before he got her on for free (I get random yahoo wankers ALL the time).
I would worry, if he wasn't paying for it.
2006-09-20 12:49:49 · answer #3 · answered by Jessie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say cheating yes, this is a real live women on the webcam not just smutty pictures in a playboy magazine. So in actual fact it was a sexual act with someone else. Whether he liked or knew the other person or not she was still real, the fact that he says he didnt know her to me makes it worse, it shows me he has little respect for you or the person on the other end of computer.
2006-09-20 12:41:37 · answer #4 · answered by having_a_blonde_day_lol 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Infidelity and cheating are the same thing. You are right he is being disloyal. Ask him how he would feel if he caught you doing the same thing. Good luck
2006-09-20 12:40:20 · answer #5 · answered by tracytracyspikes 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let me answer this as a stripper: stop worrying if it's cheating or not cheating, blah,blah,blah......your man, like most men like looking at women. If he didn't find other women attractive he wouldn't find YOU attractive. Instead of asking these kinds of questions why don't you get turned on with him. YOU fondle your breasts in front of him and say, baby come to bed with me. You will be happier and he will be happier. He loves you. Stop worrying about this crap that others tell you to worry about that just cause pain for the both of you!
2006-09-20 12:44:29 · answer #6 · answered by Judy L 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
It's considered infidelity....because he was being disloyal to you....he didn't try to fool you...unless he said...I'll go to Yahoo and ask a question at Yahoo!Answers about pets...but he actually planned to do what he did. Either way, though....if it's hurting you- tell him to stop....and make sure you have a suggestion what you both can do instead.
2006-09-20 12:43:50 · answer #7 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's called 'Digital Cheating'.
Men love looking at women. In clothes and out. Women have to understand that.
He is jacking off in an interactive method. Dangerous territory. The interactive is personal and most definitely 'cheating'.
I love looking at women and pictures of beautiful naked women. I am irresistibly drawn to it. But I love my wife and am totally satisfied sexually with her. Guys are wired to be attracted to and bed just about any female that doesn't disgust them. Ask us.
2006-09-20 13:17:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The actual act is not disroayal and it probably was purely sexual releif on his part. However, the part I would be concerned about is that intention, not the physical. If he isn't prepared to do it or talk about it to you and goes away in secret, then there is a betrayal. So if he does this in secret, what else would he do in secret inthe oppurtunity presented itself. This is not to say he would, but certainly need to be talked about by the pair of you, calmly and rationally to clearly set boundaries about what you both expect, (I am a male too)
2006-09-20 12:41:52 · answer #9 · answered by Deejay 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off all dont take it personal. What most women dont understand is that men dont see sex as a emotional connection like women do. Men just want to have sex because there horny. Same reason they masturbate. Your husband is jacking of because he is just horny. That doesnt mean he loves you any less. On the contrary naybe there needs to be more sex in the relationship. But yeah its ok to be mad your a girl. SO go be mad at him then have sex. JK.
2006-09-20 12:45:10 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. Happy 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋