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I am with my husband for twelve years and married for six. He had 3 children from a previous relationship but he never married the woman in question. The kids were in my life for the best part of 11 years but when I had my own son 5 years ago they were taken from me. My husband is very devious and has even given a property away behind my back and I've just discovered he's selling another without even consulting me first. I took legal action earlier this year but it was so distressing that I took him back but after his latest move and there have been many I have tried to put an injunction on the final sale of this house. He has never ever in 12 years put our home in both names and he punishes me mentally on a daily basis while still using the love word to melt me down. I'm at my whits end and I want to know should I proceed with divorce as I'm concerned for my own mental health and the welfare of my lovely son. There just isn't enough words to describe how deceitful he has been. Help!

2006-09-20 12:10:15 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

38 answers

By all means file immediately for divorce on grounds of mental abuse/cruelty. Go with a restraining order for your and your sons safety. Once the divorce is filed, he will get into trouble for selling property and you will get half the proceeds if he does, its called trying to hide or get rid of marital assets. You should get custody with support and possibly spousal support. But do it now and if you can afford either an atty or a paralegal, it will be of tremendous help for you. Good luck

2006-09-20 12:20:33 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0 0

It is time for you to pull it together sister! You need a lawyer and a concealer for you and possibly your child. You need to file for the divorce like yesterday! I am hoping you live in a community property state? If so you are entitled to half of the property or it's value. This could be the fresh start you need and deserve. Don't wait around on this one, he is not going to change and when it is all said and done he will have sold everything and you will still end up getting a divorce only you walk away with nothing. I hope that you and your son can live in a peaceful loving home together with no more lies and deceit. You can do this just be strong and get it done!
God bless and keep your chin up.

2006-09-21 09:22:11 · answer #2 · answered by Hollli 3 · 0 0

Go through with the divorce asap. I divorced my ex after 25years of living in hope that he would change unfortunately I always found out his deceit, he became a compulsive liar too, he said he did it all because he loved me and always will, he never gives up! I have almost gone back to him 3 times even though I am now with the love of my life! That type of person is so very convincing and you feel you are the one causing all the problems, they are very clever! The longer I have been out of the relationship the more I realise what was going on. For you and your son get out now and as far away as possible. Its not easy so get help and support. Good luck

2006-09-20 22:31:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

let it go and act as you don't even care about those things...just do your normal day to day stuff...pick up a hobby...exercise more and ignore it all...He says he loves you and he probably does...just seems like he doesn't know that it would be better to communicate and share the financial part with you. Really let it go! Don't give it another thought! You are only driving yourself crazy...he's not being decietful it seems to me that you need to let him have room to be in the drivers seat. Step back and chill out and let him do it! Marriage is a job and part of a woman's job is to assist the husband...it does not mean to control him or even the finances...hey if he wants it let him have it...yes even if you end up in a cardboard house outside of mexico...You must allow your husband to lead. If you need spending money that he does not think you need, pick up a hobby that you can earn enough for those things....while not neglecting your marriage, and family! The best help I can offer is to chill out, back off and only put your opinion in about things when he asks...If he asks what brought about the change...just tell him the truth...tell him it is less of an effort to not worry about all this stuff when you don't include me and I have no say anyway...so I just chose to direct my energies elsewhere where I feel more relaxed and happy! Marriage is a job from God...there is an order to which makes a marriage work and you will find this in God's Word the Bible. Become a Christian, and if you are a Christian...become a better one and let God lead you and chill out!

2006-09-20 12:24:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You must be going through a terrible time right now. The first thing to do is leave. I know it sounds hard but if you stay this man will be making himself a role model for your son. Your son is at an impressionable age and seeing his father doing these things now will add to his confusion and hurt. You will be able to find a " safe house" and then start to proceced with your divorce. Your mind will be clearer and you will be able to think beyond your present situation. Take legal advise. Get away first. If not for yourself then for your son. DON'T tell your husband what you're going to do, just do it and take your son with you!

2006-09-23 22:39:36 · answer #5 · answered by bobbi 3 · 0 0

My wife left me two years ago. She got $50,000.00 and a 2005 Cadillac Escalade that I paid $56,000.00 for.
We settled and was finally divorced.
Now get this........IN two years, she blew $50,000.00 and sold the Cadillac for $30,000.00 giving her a net of $80,000.00

One night she calls me up crying having been kicked out by her boyfriend and no place to go since they helpe blow all her money on drugs and what nots.
When I drove dwon to her boyfriends house, I kicked his butt first for running his mouth, I grabbed my ex wfie bruised as she was and brought her home and treated her. Took her to the Hospital and she has already been checked out and had her Dental appointment last week.
She has a clean bill of health and I did all of that for her because no matter what caused us too divorce...when she called upon me for help, I was there. She is the best ever right now and I have never seen her more happy than she is right now.
For once in my life, I have done right....she;s the best that ever happen to me.
I hope my true story will help you make a decision for you and yours.
Peace Al

2006-09-20 12:22:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It sounds like you already know what you should do-LEAVE. Depending on where you live, you may have rights to the equity in the properties even if your name is not on them. Consult a lawyer for your rights. 12 years of mental abuse is 12 too many. You don't want your son to learn how to treat his wife by observing your husband.

2006-09-20 12:23:19 · answer #7 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 0 0

It sounds like you need a divorce attorney right away. He'll tell you what steps you need to protect you & your childs interests. Obviously your hubby is liquidating the assets for a reason. You need to protect yourself & your child. Unfortunately, you probably wont be part of your step-kids lives anymore. But your child is the one you need to take care of.

I recommend seeing a counselor for yourself to help with any mixed feelings you might have about leaving your husband. I know because I am going through the same thing.

Good luck

2006-09-20 12:15:34 · answer #8 · answered by Amy 3 · 0 0

Get a lawyer and start the proceedings for a Divorce! He is a hound dog looking for trouble! Any guy who treats a woman like that should be sent out to pasture and shot like an injured horse. I wish you luck!!

2006-09-20 12:51:22 · answer #9 · answered by kolowski4 3 · 0 0

First gain some confidence in yourself. you are worth TOOOOOOOOO much for that!!! After get a divorce. It will be very selfish of you to have a child and stay in that kind of relationship. Put your child(ren) first.

But remember to watch what you say about the divorce in front of them. The divorce might hurt them but what he is doing will hurt them a lot more.

2006-09-20 12:50:34 · answer #10 · answered by LayLay 3 · 0 0

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