i have been with my boyfriend for a few years, he's lovely, and we are moving into our first home soon, we have good jobs, have enough money to live comfortably and everythings going nicely but theres a guy at work who started chatting to me and we got to be really good friends. then we went out for lunch one day with some other people from the office and when we got back he texted me to say he fancied me and had wanted to kiss me whilst we were out. he has a girlfriend too so i was suprised but thing is is im not sure i would have refused him. now i feel awful, like iv cheated on my boyfriend, which i know i havent. im stil in touch with this lad, we email at work etc but i feel guilty like im having some sort of affair or something. my friend said it is just the flattery i like of this guy liking me, but i feel like a really awful person? is it wrong to fancy him from a distance? am i really awful?
2006-09-20 11:51:19 · 38 answers · asked by Elle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, i think it is just human nature to be attracted to other people, so don't feel too guilty. I mean if Brad Pitt grabbed me and kissed me I'm not so sure I would refuse him either, and I am in a wonderful relatioship myself.....But my good solid advice would be to ignore this guy, and fast or he will end up ruining your relationship with you and your boyfriend. Sounds like he is un happy with himself and his relationship if he is seeking out others. If he has already got a girlfriend, why is he flirting around with you? This indicates to me that he could be a player. I always live by that saying, "Once a cheater always a cheater..." You don't need a reason to question your current relationship which is already awesome. This guy is making you question your relationship and your fidelity. Ditch this guy and quick.
2006-09-20 11:57:59 · answer #1 · answered by Melissa M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before this guy told you how he felt how did your feel about him? Just another guy you work with or did you have feelings for him but just didn't let it go?
If you didn't think of him this way then it is flattery. We all love to be found attractive or desirable by someone who we could find interesting. It turns our head every time. But you have a boyfriend and so because you felt something you feel bad.
The real question to ask is where do you want to go from here?
Is your boyfriend all you could ever ask for and do you love him?
Is this new guy seem to have more going for him?
Remember this. We never really know someone until we have been with them for some time. While this guy flatters you at this point you have no idea what he is like. Is he worth loosing your boyfriend over. You could you know.
Pay attention to how you feel. It is telling you something. Listen to it.
2006-09-20 12:03:58 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from what i read, ur such a nice, hornest girl and ur boyfriend should be lucky to have u. a flirt is just a flirt, what counts is what u do afterwards. he might be charming and everything and u might be getting dragged to those charms, what i suggest is, keep ur distance form him for now, not like u gonna ignore him or go the other way when he comes the other way lol, no. try to reduce contacting him cause its might be the thing that can fire up ur flirts.
u've got a boyfriend of which u love so much i think, he has got a girlfriend which love him i think, somebody might notice ur behavior and his and think something else and u'll have to pay the price for nothing or ur boyfriend might saw the wrong message on ur phone and think something else. i suggest to take ur time to asses the whole thing and findout where u stand with each one of the lads, then do the right thing. goodluck
2006-09-20 12:12:40 · answer #3 · answered by tender-boy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not awful because you're facing a temptation, but giving in to it may not be such a great thing to do. Aside from the obvious problems with your boyfriend and his girlfriend will be the guilt and all the physical baggage from all of this. Only you can decide what is worth while to you and your journey through life, just try to do as little harm as you journey. You seem like a decent and thoughtful person, and from the sound of you, I believe you will try to do no harm if you are able. Whatever you decide, always try to consider the consequences both for others as well as yourself and you'll seldom go too far wrong.
2006-09-20 12:20:36 · answer #4 · answered by ron k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those guilty feelings are trying to warn you. Trust your instincts and cut off contact with this friend. Unless, of course, you don't respect your current boyfriend and the relationship of trust and love you have built up between each other over the past few years. We all get crushes from time to time (it's human nature!), the difference is that you don't act on them if you are in a loving relationship. So go ahead and fancy him from a distance... but don't communicate with him any longer; after all he did try to make a move on you.
2006-09-20 11:54:58 · answer #5 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's called an emotional affair which is just as bad as if you were to kiss him you can read about it on the Internet my wife and i went through the same thing before we got married the thing you need to do is think about what is more important to you something that you already have and loves you or what you don't know if your having doubts you owe it to not only to yourself but to your other half to talk about your feelings one thing that saved us is that we took some time apart to find out where our hearts really were and it led us back to one another what you are doing is wrong if you are hiding it from your man stop talking to this guy until you talk to the person you love then make a decision together on what the two of you should do next.
2006-09-20 12:03:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me that you're bored with your relationship. There's no sponteneity and you've passed the stage of excitement in your relationship. Both of you have gotten too comfortable with each other and stopped doing certain things that make the other person special or wanted. Now, you're getting that high feeling of being wanted. You feel good that someone other than your man is attracted to you. It's a temporary high. You need to reevaluate what is missing in your relationship that is making you want to get other men's attention. You did not do anything wrong because you did not cheat by way of sex or kissing another man. You feel wrong because you're cheating on him "emotionally."
2006-09-20 12:01:28 · answer #7 · answered by Thot77 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, we aren't dead even though we are in a relationship. Flattery is always nice.
But I think you need to either tell this "lad" how it is. Or unfortunately stop being friends with him.
Always ask yourself this question: Is this situation REALLY worth risking what I have with my partner?
Alot of times we get so caught up in that first time "puppy-love" feeling (like when you first met your current man) that things can get out of hand and we end up doing things we regret.
No, you have not cheated on your man......yet. Things are about to get OUTTA HAND if you do not approach this situation ASAP!
Stop and think!
I have been there!
2006-09-20 11:59:15 · answer #8 · answered by midnitestar82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not aweful but u are on a road of a cheating situation if u truely love your boyfriend u need to step back and not persue a flirting relationship with this guy. stay as friends and if the bf doesnt work out then u have a backup good luck
2006-09-20 11:55:17 · answer #9 · answered by lcox65 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that because someone else is giving you attention you feel very flattered and maybe even flirty depending on your personality. It's not wrong to feel the way you do, however don't take it further than what it is now. Since you're already feeling guilty I would stop flirting back with this guy and focus on your relationship w/your boyfriend.
2006-09-20 11:57:04 · answer #10 · answered by Ruth R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋