I am confident, have lots of friends, an active social life, eat healthily, keep fit, travel a lot...?

Question

... read widely, speak several different languages, am well educated, run a successful company, earn a six figure salary (sterling) and I am sociable, enthusiastic and charismatic, reasonably good looking and well toned. Why am I still single?

Added: a lot of girls have written something along the lines of "because you haven't met the right person yet".

I need to underline, this isn't a question about relationships - otherwise I would have entered it in the relationships section.

This is a sociological question which, while recognising that I have some desirable qualities which women might look for, seeks to discover which vital desirable qualities I am still lacking.

I think I ought to be a good catch, I'm just not sure why what I have so far doesn't seem to be enough.

Obviously, while I approach life in a confident manner, I don't go around marketing myself to others in some stupidly arrogant way as some people have implied... but I don't understand at this point why things just don't naturally fall together...

So what's missing? What is the vital ingredient which makes things click?

Any help on this much appreciated!

Answer 1

Many women might consider you out of their league. I for one don't go after guys period. I was talking to a guy before that I met on the net. He was out of my league and I knew it. He was making 6 figure digits or possibly even more. He was intelligent, successful, sexy as hell, etc. However he had an arrogance to him that he didn't see. Nonetheless, he wasn't willing to be with someone that wasn't his ideal. He also had no sense of humor. Most women want a guy with a sense of humor.

Like I said women probably figure you are high maintenance. What are you looking for? A sexy, successful women? A waitress would feel intimidated by you. Now I'm not saying that they would have low-self esteem. I myself didn't feel like the guy was too good for me, but only that he things that i didn't and never had. I don't know. Maybe your standards are too high...

Do you tend to throw your money around arrogantly? More women than not do not like arrogant guys that try to act as if we are only into them because of their money.

Another reason, maybe you aren't settled enough. Women want to feel secure and loved, they want to know that you might one day settle down with them, not just a few times under the bed sheets.

Answer 2

I recognise your problem. I speak five languages, own my own art gallery, own my own apartment, am sociable, funny, a creative cook, go to the swimming pool twice a week, etc. etc..
What I am saying is that the reason you are single is not about you. It could very well be as you are confident about who you are, other people just assume that you are taken. Maybe it could help if you toned it down a little. Don't change who you are, don't ever do that, unless it is because you're evolving. Start by wearing a slightly shabby sweater, so you look more approachable. Other then that I cannot help you, I have got the same problem. Oh, and maybe you are a bit too busy for other single women to be able to catch up with you. They are still catching their breath, as you run off to another one of your activities. So, in order to give them a chance to catch up, trip every now and then.

Answer 3

You don't say how old you are. You might be a young man who has spent so much time and energy acquiring all these characteristics and qualities that he has perhaps lost the knack of being an ordinary, approachable human being whom an ordinary woman can feel comfortable with. You also fail to say whether you are in the habit of dating girls and whether in fact you are at ease in their company. Women like to be courted. They love a little flattery. They adore being cosseted and spoiled. The words in your self portrait that alarm me are "enthusiastic" (are you trying too hard in the company of women when all they want is someone relaxed and easy to talk to?) and "charismatic". There are some things which people are simply not entitled to say about themselves: personable, delightful, irresistible, charming...and charismatic (except perhaps in the context of Charismatic Christianity). While you are so in love with yourself, you're going to put women off. Every woman has mothering instincts (however deep down). Why not display just a tiny little bit of vulnerability to offset the dazzling picture that you have painted? That is another secret of womankind: women love looking after the men whom they marry. You simply don't need looking after: you can do it all!

It's impossible for you to obtain a realistic answer by this means. But just remember that what women admire most in a potential husband is kindness and integrity. You might even meet the right sort of woman through doing some form of voluntary work for a charity. It sounds as though it would be hard to fit into your spare time, what with running the company, keeping well toned, reading widely and keeping up with your hectic social life. But give it some thought. You might even show yourself to your best advantage by doing something really unselfish like that!

Answer 4

Hi Alan,
It sounds as though you have it all really ( except of course a girlfriend, that's why we're here,lol)
Hmm..hard to say really , maybe you're too busy to meet someone? By the time you've finished running your company, read several books, spent all that time at the gym ..went out for meals/drinks with friends....where do you get the time to meet a woman?
It might be worth slowing down a bit and maybe trying out a few different hobbies where you're guaranteed to meet women .
Ask your friends to be honest with you, and tell you how you may possibly come across to women, there might be something that you do or say that is not what women want !
The right woman for you is out there somewhere, just enjoy your life and it will happen sooner or later .
Good luck .

Answer 5

You do sound like a great catch and I think there is nothing wrong with having self confidence. You may be enthusiastic and charismatic but how are you on meeting and mingling with women? Maybe those are the skills you need to brush up on. Maybe you are barking up the wrong trees so to speak...what are your hobbies? Perhaps you could join a group locally where you could meet a gal who shares an interest? Good luck to you and always keep a good sense of humor and a great attitude...it will serve you well!

Answer 6

I am confident, have lots of friends, an active social life, eat healthily, keep fit, travel a lot...?
... read widely, speak several different languages, am well educated, run a successful company, earn a six figure salary (sterling) and I am sociable, enthusiastic and charismatic, reasonably good looking and well toned. Why am I still single?



your also cocky

Answer 7

Because u are trying waaaaaaaaaaaaay to hard. Its great that ur successful and ambitious and take care of ur health and all but are u actually any fun? Ur like almost too perfect... Do ya ever jus watch the match wit the lads and tell dirty jokes and fart? Come on when was the last time you had a good fart with the lads?! think u jus need to relax a little. Stop looking and she'll find ya :)

Answer 8

Maybe you're arrogant? I've yet to meet a woman who goes out with a shopping list of desired qualities, so maybe you haven't found a woman who appreciates the whole ensemble.
It's also possible that you're devoting so much time to your career and your friends that you just don't have room, or the time or energy needed to dedicate to starting and maintaining a successful relationship.

Answer 9

I have no idea what the answer is.

What is seen from one point of view might well be seen from the opposite point of view.

You describe yourself here, fore example, as 'charismatic,' others might see it in another and subjective light. Who is it that used that term in relation to you?

The answers are there, with you. You would be best served finding someone to help you look for your answers - with you.

I once worked with a guy who spoke 12 languages 'fluently,' he learnt them from the gutter up, so he Knew fully how to and how not to use them.

He was a master chef, an excellent baker / pastry maker, tarot card reader, tailor / seamstress and more (including a wheeler- dealer, con artist, crook etc). His relationships were all a mess and he was forever in one kind of trouble or another.

As we were then in the brink of joining the Common market (now the EU), I was amazed that he didn't use his language skills - rather than work as a lowly 'telephone operator' (where he rarely used his languages - out of bloody minded choice).

He had a perception of himself which was totally the opposite to mine and of others too.

He was determined that he was ok as he was, and that was fine, his life, his choice ...though he was always 'troubled.'

Sorry, i'm waffling.

I hope you find your answer - and someone to help you share it with.
Sash.

Answer 10

Do you have the time for a relationship, perhaps you are looking in the wrong direction. Sharing your life with someone isn't all that easy you know.You sound as though you have your life well in order, this can appeal to some women but not to all, and it depends what you are looking for in a woman, is it a partnership or relationship. You sound like you would be quite domineering would you like the woman in your life to be just as domineering. Have you tried to have relationships in the past ? obviously they haven't worked out or else you wouldn't be asking this question. Maybe your just too fussy..............