my chosen nephew visits frequently with my step children. he is always the loudest of the three. asking him to be quiet doesnt do much good. he doesnt like most of the things i make. my step kids will eat whatever i put in front of them. he had rather have mcdonalds. how can i make him stay quiet when i need him to and just eat what i fix that night?
2006-09-20 11:43:27 · 7 answers · asked by butterfly 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Quiet is a toughie - are you sure his hearing's okay? I know he's young, but hearing loss can hit any age, and is often accompanied by talking at an inappropriate level. If you're sure his hearing's okay...
You don't say how old he is, but he's old enough to talk, so we'll go from there. Two things come to mind. You might try explaining to him that shouting is for emergencies, and because he talks so loudly, you won't know if something's wrong, because you're kind of tuning him out, because the shouting hurts your head.
You could also ignore him, and when you talk to him, whisper. If you whisper softly, most people will quiet in order to hear you - it's a trick, but it often works.
As for the food - well, he's not going to starve, no matter how much he complains, but have you thought about involving him in the cooking process? Kid who garden, for example, eat more vegetables, because they "own" them and feel involved. If he helps to cook, he's invested in what you make.
Best if you let him make some choices - such as "should we use cheddar cheese, or swiss?" Let him taste a tiny bit and decide which to use.
Don't give him fast food just because he likes it (or makes your life miserable), though. My mom once dealt with a young visitor who complained about everything and demanded that she fix only things he liked, and in the way he liked them. Mom froze in place one evening, dinner plate in hand, a puzzled look on her face. She said "Oh, I'm sorry - I didn't realize you don't like my cooking. I'll put it away." She covered the dish and put it in the fridge, leaving him with no dinner, to his surprise.
The next morning, he was hungry and assured her that what she fixed was just fine.
If you respond to his complaints, you reinforce the idea that he has a right to express himself, and rudely at that, about what you cook.
He probably yells in order to get attention - so what you need to manage is what kind of attention he gets. Reward him with positive attention when he's doing something you like, and ignore him when he isn't, so long as he's safe (don't yell, or give him negative attention - negative attention is still attention). If he only gets attention for behaving politely, he's more likely to want to behave.
Good luck!
2006-09-20 11:55:28 · answer #1 · answered by peculiarpup 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand your pain girlfriend. You fix whatever is for dinner. Dont bend for him and make him something special. Tell him" this is whats for dinner, if ya dont eat it, then ya aint eating" chances are, he'll be coming around soon cause he's hungry. YOU rule the roost. Don't cave! I have friends that do cave for their children and it's bullshit!! If all he wants is "Rotten Ronnies" (McD's), then it sounds like he is a spoiled brat or doesnt ever get a good meal at home!! I used to want everythng my way as a kid, and I drove my mom nuts. Now that I am a parent and have been around kids like your nephew....I realize what they went through.. I hope you're strong enough to follow through..Or talk to his parents...see if they go through the same thing at home. It's not your fault hes that way..it's his parents fault for caving in to him at every whim!!
2006-09-20 12:01:24 · answer #2 · answered by cynlord_07 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit him down and explain you have rules in your home that are different then his own.
Make it clear what you expect and that the punishment is not eating, not being able to come over for a period of time etc. Then stick to what you say, after a week or two he will come around. I have had to do this with my daughter's friends who were the same way.
Each home has it's own door and it's own rules.
2006-09-20 11:49:57 · answer #3 · answered by Answerkeeper 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
whipe the crap out of him i have a cuzzin' like that,if i didn'tknow better I'd say he was a demon(my cuz not ur nefew)My aunt calls him her "MIRACLE BABY" because when she was pregnet he pulled her off of pills but something like that would put me back on pills!!!!!!!!LOL
but i mean ur bigger as long a u catter to his wants he's going to continue his little ways!!!!!!!!!!Do something about it or suffer thats all i can say!!!!!!hpoe i helped sorry if i offended u !!!!!!!
2006-09-20 17:53:20 · answer #4 · answered by ~♥~Tiffany~♥~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
throw him and his chosen in a work camp. they were chosen to serve not rule idiots.
2006-09-20 11:49:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just remember, you are bigger than he is! and you are the boss. if he doesn't like it, too bad.
2006-09-20 11:45:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOPE HIS BUTT BECUZ HE HAS TO LEARN HOW TO OBEY YOU OR WHEN HE GETS BIGGER HE WILL RUN ALL OVER YOU
2006-09-20 11:48:27 · answer #7 · answered by QueenT 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋