2006-09-20 11:10:27 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Find another women to have some foreplay with.
2006-09-20 11:12:19 · answer #1 · answered by drsteve362005 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one it's spelled 'mood' and it isn't a mode. You want your wife; not a lovemaking robot. I hope.
Women tend to want an emotional connection. Think "women are conventional ovens" and don't expect them to instantly be 'on' like a microwave.
Physical foreplay isn't the beginning. The beginning is her feeling like you're there for her and not irritated with her that she hasn't been in the mood lately. Try being her best friend in the whole world for a week straight with no expectations. Help her out around the house or take over if you see her getting tired. Bring her home her favorite candy bar or something she likes for NO REASON. Don't expect her to do cartwheels either.
If you establish over a period of time that you're not buttering her up to get her in bed; then the reverse psychology will start to work and she'll start thinking all those sweet thoughts again about you. Like, "aw, THAT was sweet..." and "he remembered I like those...?" In my guess you could stand to find at least 3 things a day to do or say (honestly not buttering her up) that are kind and sincere.
You have to be somebody that makes her think sweet NON-sexual thoughts about you. When she starts feeling cared for emotionally (consistantly and without fail) and feels that you're there to help her life be easier; than she'll start 'warming' up sexually. Once that happens, it will take considerably less work to keep her oven at proper cooking temps. But starting from cold just naturally takes longer.
If she stops thinking all those sweet things about you on a daily basis, she will start to cool off. And you will have to start over from scratch. It's not her fault and she isn't trying to be difficult to make your life no fun on purpose. So keep that in mind and be nice and sincere with her. That's just a woman with a medium to low sex drive for you. More effort is required. For a woman, it isn't about sex so much as we just want to feel safe and secure emotionally. And we have to be constantly reminded that we are.
Get a strong, stable emotional connection and close friendship going, and the lovemaking thing for her should take care of itself.
Hope this helps. Also, the book Mars and Venus in the Bedroom is a good one to help remind the opposite sex that women and men just plain view things differently and have different needs. It's easy to forget when all you know is what you've always been!
2006-09-20 18:45:23 · answer #2 · answered by Cedar_2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know enough about your details, but I agree with Sylvia. I've just had my 19th. The 'fun' is gone. So why should she 'reward' you for the day to day grind that is just a habit now? Start in the morning with a freshly brushed kiss good morning and keep going... call her, little notes... like maybe in the fridge to find. (envelope with name if other eyes are around). A bouquet of flowers.... not roses, don't want to over-do. Kiss hello... maybe call ahead for idea of going out to eat... or to get chinese for wherever is romantic in the house. start MAKING OUT! making out is foreplay! Forget about sex... don't even think about it... refuse to do it a few times... only making out... make her want more, the way you guys were back when you were dating. See if that helps. If she responses, then only give her more if she asks for it. I hope she's not shy with you anymore... so make her ask but not beg. Best of luck.
2006-09-20 18:27:34 · answer #3 · answered by Valeria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her why. Talk to her. Get her comfortable with lying naked without having sex. Just enjoy touching her, being touched, and talking to her about her week and her thoughts. Have some nights where you lie naked, you touch each other, but you don't touch privates. Get her used to one thing at a time. Tell her you love her about 20 times a day (by saying things like, "I really like that dress on you," "I love you," "Thank you for doing that," etc.), touch her about 10 times a day (shoulder rub, hug, hold her hand, etc.), and show her you love her about 5 times a day (do a chore she wants done, pull out her chair for her, get the groceries so she doesn't have to, take out the trash without being asked, etc.). The point is this: by sacrificing yourself you are tying the emotions together with her feelings for you and with your love making. When it all becomes the same affection for you, then you will have great foreplay.
2006-09-20 18:19:22 · answer #4 · answered by edwardnprice 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What did you do in the first place?
2006-09-20 18:15:05 · answer #5 · answered by qn.harpy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your Yahoo friends can't help with a great answer, I think the answer is that you both need counselling; meaning a professional third party to help you out. After that many years, it will take someone professional to chip away at the issues. Good luck my friend.
2006-09-20 18:14:12 · answer #6 · answered by fried_twinkie1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try making it last all day....seriously. compliment her on how she looks. help around the house. help her w/ lunch. ask her out for the evening. take her to dinner and a movie or play or dancing. the go home and see if she is more open to foreplay. make her feel special outside of the bedroom and she might surprise you at how special she is in the bedroom.
2006-09-20 18:15:45 · answer #7 · answered by Sylvia H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try inviting her into a 3 sum, no joke. All women whether they admit it or not are into it. This may help. Have you bought toys? Went to sex counseling? Marriage counseling? What are her reasons for not wanting it? Is she still attracted to you (visa versa)
2006-09-20 18:18:12 · answer #8 · answered by plaster_employment 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something she likes such as making her a bubble bath or giving her a body massage.
2006-09-20 18:24:45 · answer #9 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is either not interested in that or just want to get straight to it
2006-09-20 18:15:42 · answer #10 · answered by Blue Bear 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋