Will you read my cover letter & give me REAL feedback?

Question

I am a recent university graduate seeking a junior copywriting position. I graduated with an English degree in the top 15% of my class, and am currently enrolled in a short course on copywriting at SFU’s Centre for Writing and Publishing. I also have some freelance experience in the creation of newsletters, brochures, press releases and direct mail fundraising.

My work experience up until now has given me additional skills that would be an asset to any team.

•I am a committed employee with demonstrated skills in problem-solving, time-management and supervision of others.
•Having worked as part of a team in event-planning, my communication skills enable me to work in a diverse number of environments.
•I am experienced with word-processing and MS Office programs, including Publisher.
•Organization and prioritization are second nature to me – I thrive under pressure, and am adept at turning stressful situations into those of success.

the rest doesnt fit. what do u think?

Answer 1

(I graduated with a (Bachelors) Degree in English)

(and am studying copywriting at SFU’s Centre for Writing and Publishing)

(I also have experience in the creation of newsletters...)

Answer 2

1) It is way too long. Two or three paragraphs should be plenty, two or three brief sentences tops each paragraph, with no bullets. You have approximately a minute or less to impress someone.
2) Do not repeat the things that you have hopefully highlighted in the "special skills and experience" section at the front of your resume.
3) Summarize all the bullets into one brief sentence, to follow the "My" sentence. You can get into the details in a phone or in-person interview.
4) Make sure you say something about "I look forward to discussing this opportunity directly with you in the near future" or similar.
5) What makes you unique or different from the hundreds of other people they might get resumes from? Consider one of your earlier sentences to highlight this.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Length is alright, 3 small paragraphs with bullets is acceptable

A lot of this stuff should be on your resume, and the point of the cover letter should be to make them curious enough to look at the resume.

Shorten the bullets to 3 or 5 things that are key that will require them to look to find on your resume, i.e. "Demonstrated problem-solving and organizational skill.", etc.

Since you can probably offload some of what you said in the first paragraph to your resume, try to customize it a bit to the specific company and job. If you were referred by somebody, be sure to drop their name in the first paragraph as well.

Hope this helps!

Answer 4

Overall, I like it. I assume you will expand on your qualities and give examples of how you accomplished your tasks in your resume.

My only criticism would be your last "Org and pri" bullet. The last 3 words sound a little clumsy to me. You could shorten to "into success", or even bring the team concept back into play by saying "into a successful solution for our team"

Answer 5

It is too long.

You also need to give the reader a context for where you learned about the job opening. It works best, if you are introduced by someone who already works for the company.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

i think u'll get a job quick!