Mother-in-Law wants in??Help!?

Question

My Mother-in-Law asked me who would be @ my devlivery..she asked to be there..its the First Grand-child..what should i do?

Answer 1

It is your delivery - only people who you feel comfortable with should be there. If you are having your family in there, it is a touchier subject, but that is your prerogative.

If you are only having your husband in there, this is much easier. You just say that you want to experience this moment with your husband. Tell her she is welcome in the waiting room.

Another option is to tell her she can be in there during the contractions, but that during the pushing and birth, you would prefer her to be in the waiting room. Depends on your comfort level. I spent hours in the delivery room waiting to push - some distraction may be nice during that time... When the nurse wants to check you, ask everyone to step out except your husband.

Answer 2

It sounds like you don't really want her there and that's ok. Be very nice and polite and just tell her that you want it to be just you and your husband. It is your decsion who is in the room with you. If you don't want to do that, ask your doctor to tell her that the policy is only you and one other person, so then naturally it would be the father of the child. That way her feelings don't get hurt and you don't sound mean. But either way she should understand what labor is like and that you only want it you two. I know that when I have kids it is only going to be me and him. I don't want a bunch of other people because then everyone wants to hold be baby and it gets to crowded. My husband will be the first to hold the baby and then me. Once we have had a few minutes as a new family then other people can see the baby and be around. Just remember to be nice and explain your descion

Answer 3

That's a really hard decision. You'd really need to talk it over with your husband. When my first son was born, I wanted it to be just my husband and I in the room. For my last two, I was up in the air about having the grandparents in the room. Luckily they have never asked. I'm 19 weeks pregnant now, if my mom was to ask, I would definitely say yes, but with my mother-in-law, I still don't know.

Answer 4

My MIL wanted to be there when my 1st son was born. We decided that it would just be myself and my husband. It was an awesome experience, and I am so glad that neither of us had any other distractions, only each other and the impending birth. We were honest with her and just said, you can come right after, but during, we want it just us. Good luck to you, just do what is going to be best for you! It is a very personal thing, you are going to need to focus on baby, not who is in the room and what they are doing or thinking or saying. Take care!

Answer 5

When my two sons were born, it was only my husband and me in the delivery room (and the docs and nurses of course!) both times. I looked at it this way--the birth of a child is a very private, special, momentus occasion. Anyone (other than medical staff) who wasn't personally responsible for helping create my children wouldn't be allowed in the delivery room during their births.

Your mother in law has children--she knows where they come from. There's absolutely no reason to have her in there. She has the rest of the child's life to love and spoil him/her.

Answer 6

Your husband and your mother. I think it is a personal choice but maybe if you don't want the mother in law in the room you could let her in after the birth so she could be a part of it and hold the baby. I understand her desire to be present but I have two sons and I was never invited into the birth. I didn't feel cheated either. I mean I didn't really want my husband to see me in that position.

Answer 7

This isn't her 1st gran-child this is your 1st baby. Its some thing that will change your lives and something that you and your husband should share alone. with my 1st child I had my mom in there with us and when I had her my husband was 1st to hold her than my mom than me but only for a minute because they had to give her bath. I felt so left out. With my 2nd my MIL wanted to be there I told her that I was sorry but it was something that we wanted to do by ourselves. When the time came that was so pleasant and we felt like it was the 1st time we had done this and it was great. We felt like we could handle any thing without the help of anyone else. And so far so good!!!!

Answer 8

I want to add the same thing that almost everyone else is saying. It is up to you and your husband.

My husband and I chose to be alone for both of our childrens' births, and I really think that was a good thing for us.

We had visitors while in back labor with the first, and I was very uncomfortable trying to be witty and friendly with everyone while in such pain. With the second, labor was very fast and we didn't have time to call anyone before she was born. Secretly, I really was glad to not have anyone standing by the bed saying "Wow! That was a big contraction!"

A friend of mine really liked having the support of almost her entire family in the room, so it really is just personal preference.

Best of Luck!

Answer 9

It's all on what you want and what you are comfortable with. If you would prefer not to have her in the delivery room, then you don't have to let her in there regardless of what she might say. If you can't break it to her any other way, tell her that the doctor says only one person is allowed and you want that one person to be your husband. Have to doctors and nurses comply with your request. Again, it's all about what you want. This is your baby and your experience. What ever makes you comfortable.

Answer 10

In my opinion having your mother - in - law there would be kind of weird? At my deliver I had my husband and my mother. There was no way I was going to let my mother in law be there...thats private stuff that was none of her business. Thats just my opinion but if you dont want her there just tell her that you would prefer for just your husband to be there but that you would be sure to let her in the room after they get you cleaned up.