2006-09-20 10:00:42 · 13 answers · asked by Spanky 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm in the same situation with my fiance, We hardly have sex , I don't think he's cheating.. Maybe just a low sex drive, or there is a twelve year difference... I don't know how to ask him about it without sounding like a sex addict..
2006-09-20 10:44:26 · answer #1 · answered by Tracy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People lose interest in sex for all sorts of reasons. What you need is communication to find out what the issues are so you both can start solving them or decide mutally that you have grown too far apart. Most couples seek counseling but opening the door to communication can start at home as well.
First offer to have an open discussion- set a date and neutral terms. If needed get in writing that neither of you will interupt when the other is talking and that no judgements will be made based on the discussions and comments.
Talking about sex even between married couples can be very hard. It is a sensitive subject, men and women view it differently and it is very private. It is extremly difficult to speak the desires one has even to someone you love out of fear of rejection chnages in how they will see you etc. Try taking it one step at a time and perhaps being the first to open up and admit or reveal an inner desire or feeling you have if possible to get your partner to open up but do expect slow going this is not an easy road to travel.
Good luck!
2006-09-20 17:10:07 · answer #2 · answered by Answerkeeper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is my situation. I am not making out with my husband and I definately am not having an affair outside my marriage. The reason is because he has been mentally and emotionally abusive.I have tried talking to him and it does no good because he is not going to open up and talk.We have been married 5 years and I do want it to end because all we are doing is killing each other with the arguing and I am getting tired of being accussed of cheating(long before I quit making out with him) and I even told him that he's going to keep on and I am going to do what he's accussing me of.I never would but I am mad at the time and tired of hearing it, The other day he jumps down my throat for no reason,my 25 yr old son witnessed this,and then he comments,"You have to watch out for all women". I thought in the begiining I could show him that all woman are not alike and that has not changed at all. What this comes from is his 2 previous marriages and later I found out,both woman got pregnant by another man while still with him. I knew of one and thought he was over it when we first got married because in the beginning it was good but soon started changing. Now for the last 1-1 1/2 it has gotton so bad. Now that is why I have gotten to where in the last year I have atarted withholding from my husband. Emotionally whipped,stressed and tired and it is draining me and I am not in the mood and am not attracted to him anymore because he has got ugly to me as far as his negative attitude and behavior. Talk to her. If you love her share with her the best u can how u feel and what u need and want..
2006-09-20 17:27:47 · answer #3 · answered by copperfish310 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is just going through some things and is just not interested in sex. I am going through the same situation at this time, but I am cheating outside my marriage, my spouse accusing me of it 24/7. You know after being accused of having sex with someone else just because you are not having sex with your spouse really takes your desire away. Lack of communication, martial problems or maybe just personal problems of her own.
2006-09-20 21:56:06 · answer #4 · answered by Mary E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say from personal experience, I stopped having sex with my boyfriend. It was miserable for me. We'd have it once every 6 months or so. My answer to him when he asked me was: "it's not worth it to me, you're finished, rolling over on your back and asleep before I even have my bra off".
I'm not saying this is the situation, but analyze yourself see what you might be doing wrong in the bedroom AND in your relationship and then ask her why she's holding out.
It could be something emotional, maybe she's not giving you sex because you're withholding something emotionally from her. If she's not getting what she needs, the chance of her giving you what you need are pretty slim.
2006-09-20 17:09:13 · answer #5 · answered by Heather S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know, i am in the same boat! I know he isn't having sex with anyone else but I think I need to have a talk with him. I want him to go see a doctor because not only does he have a weak sex drive he also Premature ejaculates....BOO! Something needs to be done, we are only engaged now, but I want to have an active sex life now and far in the future.
2006-09-20 17:05:03 · answer #6 · answered by Tamara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long has it been? Are u smacking her around, or just beiong rude? Did u gain like a bunch of weight and not taking care of yourself? Did she recently have a baby? Did u get caught fooling around? If noe of this is the case, then just ask her whats up. If she gets upset about u asking, then u might want to start looking into keeping tabs on her as she could possibly be fooling around.
2006-09-20 17:07:24 · answer #7 · answered by erker34 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My best friend is cheating on her husband, she stopped having sex with him about 6 months before she told him, now they are going through a divorce. keep an eye out
2006-09-20 17:04:04 · answer #8 · answered by QueenG 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Figure out why she is not having sex with you. She may or may not be cheating. You need more info than just not getting any sex with her.
2006-09-20 17:04:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily. You need to ask her why. There has to be a reason you can help fix. Communication is the key to solving this.
2006-09-20 17:04:44 · answer #10 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋