men can you help me with my friends problem?

Question

my friend is engaged to this guy and she has had a kid by him. they have been together a few years now.

he has always been alright with her and a good dad untill recently when he told her that he had bumped into his first love

ever since he has been a bit distant with my friend and her son. its like he isnt interested.

i have noticed this when i have been round to her house.

my friend thinks he may be meeting up with his ex. she knows that he was young when they were together and they never had sex.

do you think he would go back behind my friends back and cheat on her? would you in his position?

i am going to show my friend your answers plaese be honest

Answer 1

Honestly, it's really hard to say. I could understand the allure of a past girlfriend, and the pro's to the other girl, but on the other hand if he's been a good dad then why would he change? I don't understand why, if they have a child together, get along well, and have been together a few years, why they haven't yet gotten married. I think answering that question will let you know if he's cheating.

Answer 2

1. Big Red Flag was that he did not marry her when she became pregnant. Wasn't concerned about giving a name to his child. He wanted to be free. Why would a man want to be free — so he can see who he wants.

2. That being said, he never was hers. No committment. Living together is meaningless. Humpty Dumpty game. Guess who gets dumped?

3. If your friend wants to avoid a world full of hurt facing her near future, and her child's, DO NOT MARRY HIM.

4. She needs to contact family, friends and other support groups that can help her get on her feet, independent and move to her own place. Get some marketable skills so she can support herself and her child. The child is of paramount over the child-man she lives with.

5. People say — people say. People say a lot of things. It's the actions that tell the story. When actions and words are in sync, then you can trust and believe people.

6. Old girlfriend he never got over, because they had good sex. He sees an opportunity to get some of her for him. Mature relationships do not include old boyfriends/girlfriends hanging out.

7. Tell her to find a real man, not another kid. They are out there and they are achievers and active with family.

Good luck and warm regards.

Answer 3

Yes, Yes and yes. There is no love like a first love. It's even worst, the fact that he never slept with her. She was a fantasy ghost. All he has is the pleasant memories of what could have been.

I lost track of mine when I was 17 and she 16 , I looked for her for 40 years. I finally found her, she had died from cancer. I wept like a baby.

Just as if your friend is married, they share the morning breath the bills and problems. Your friend can not compete with a dream phantom.

If she wants to keep her man , she must be the girl friend again and live in that mode.

Listen to the song " If I were your woman by Gladys knight. never was more truth ever sung.

Answer 4

It does sound suspiciously as though he's going behind her and seeing his ex somewhat.

Could be that he never really thought about how much his first love meant to him until it was gone, and he could even feel that with her return into his life, he's been given a second chance.

If so, he's a complete fool, especially with a child to his name. Legally, he can be had by the Child Supporet Agency in the UK, should the mother of his child decide to split with him, not to mention the whole custody thing, so he's /really/ going to have to pull his socks up, and let the past be the past.

Your friend, the mother of this guy's child, needs to remind him of the child, and his responsibility, and he should be told to back off from his ex - and at the same time, his ex should be made fully aware of the fact that he is now a father, and his future, such as it is, lies with his family, not in the past.

Here's me, no woman in my life, no prospect of one, and here's him throwing away his relationship for a phantom of dead lust. If you truly ask me, he needs his head seeing to.

Answer 5

your friend should ask her boyfriend maybe nothing is happening at all but you never know until you ask,the thing you may be noticing is that maybe your thinking he is up to something and once its in your mind the more suspicions arouse,if they are engaged they should know one another well enough so they should be able to talk and be honest with each other if he does seem a bit distant then coming from a guy also there must be something on his mind,have it out with him

hope it helps

Answer 6

Why should there be so much concern on your part for what happens to your friend? If she is old enough to have a child don't you think she is old enough to resolve her own problems?

Now if the problem is yours, there is no reason why you should not want to admit it? You are on a medium of communication that allows you the the perfect cover. We don't know who you are, so it wouldn't much matter the type of question we answered. I am just amazed at the lack of self respect you have for yourself and the lack of respect you have for your friend's ability to cope with her own problems.

Answer 7

No. If I had a kid a would be loyal to the woman I had the kid with. To be honest a may be a bit distracted if my first love came into the picture, but it wouldn't have any effect on the way I feel about my child's mother. I would stay with her and love her until we were seperated by death.

Answer 8

If he is becoming distant, then certainly something is wrong. Us guys love to use that distant thing to a) let you know something is wrong, and b) hope that it will turn you off of us so we don't hurt you by leaving (No, it never works, but we keep trying). If I was friend, I would certainly have a private uninterupted conversation with him. Don't try to force him into marriage if he isn't ready. That doesn't work at all.

Answer 9

It is possible, although it all depends on the guy himself. It is also possible that he's just going through a phase. Given time, he might snap out of it.

Tell your friend to gently remind him of the special moments they had together. It might help him snap out of the phase.

Answer 10

he's probably just wondering what might have been, and is now worried that he has settled for something else. Your friend must make him remember why he fell in love with her in the first place.