One is 20 & one is 27. Never had a decent job, no ambition, & they know they can push their mom's buttons by saying no one cares for them, they try & just get shot down (they don't try) & it tears their Mom apart everytime this happens. The 20 year old still lives with us, refuses to pay rent, (just got a job) & has no ambition like his older brother. How can I convince their Mom they are using us?
2006-09-20 09:10:59 · 11 answers · asked by Edward J 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The stepson is certainly taking advantage of the mom.. And I know how hard it is for you to take the responsibility of being like a second father to them... The only thing that will make him clean his act up is not letting him lives with you guys and learn to survive on his own.... Your wife certainly knows deep in her heart that her son is bluffing but just won't admit it that her son need help and by help meaning make him clean his act.. Your wife is just spoiling him and making him good for nothing... The only thing you could do is make her realize her actions will only harm him not help him...If she can't even open her eyes and see it there nothin that you can do,... Next time have a heart to heart talk with her .....
2006-09-20 09:23:32 · answer #1 · answered by funkysha916 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. You really can't get in the way of a mother and her kids. She will soon realize it. Might I also say, and I'm sure you don't want to hear it, but these days parents have gotten so laxed. Parents are responsible for the upbringing of their kids. Parents are the ones that have to take responsibility for the way their children turn out. It is okay to tell you're kids NO... that's not called abuse. Maybe it tears her up so much because she realizes that she's responsible for how they turned out. You might could blame nature if one kid turned out like that but both... thats a direct result of upbringing.
2006-09-20 16:19:04 · answer #2 · answered by slickpam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she knows, but it is her son, so she is not going to listen to what you say. just try and be supportive to her. lets hope he finds a girlfriend and move out. of course if this happens, then you put your foot down, they can't stay their. (smile) One day sit down and have a talk to your wife, ask her, don"t you think you did what you could for your children? then why do you still put up with all of their mess. When is enough, enough, this time of your life, you should be relaxing, and enjoying yourself. Say I am here for you!!
2006-09-20 16:24:03 · answer #3 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, that sucks for you. why is she ok with supporting a grown man? it sounds like they had some past issues they blame her for or that she feels guilty enough about that she allows them to sponge off of her. she is not doing them any favors by playing into it. if they were younger id suggest family counseling but due to their age i doubt that will happen, besides people do what works- right now this works for them- they get a benefit out of acting like this, once there is no benefit they will change.
2006-09-20 16:19:00 · answer #4 · answered by doyalikethatdaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they are saying they are going to kill themselves then they need some help you should get there mom to make them go see someone about that and they are using the both of you tell their mom that they NEED to leave the house they need to grow up and get a life of there own give them a 30 day notice and then take it to court then they will have to leave
2006-09-20 16:16:43 · answer #5 · answered by mija~chula 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its gonna take a lot of tough love, but it is the only way to do it. kick their asses out on the street. and when they threaten to kill themselves... well just say i can't help you with that decision, but i just can't and won't be minipulated by you any more. I love you with all my heart and it kills me inside when you say things like that but i have had enough, if you don't think enough about what it would do to this family, then i just can't help you. so grow up.
2006-09-20 16:20:17 · answer #6 · answered by flwrgrl692001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to cut the apron strings. These guys are the masters of manipulation. The only way they will get out if is if you force them out.
2006-09-20 16:31:56 · answer #7 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your stepsons are very manipulative. I am alos wondering what kind of upbringing they had.Maybe its time to drop them off at the homeless shelter
2006-09-22 09:44:20 · answer #8 · answered by mm06840 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
beat the crap out of them and make them
2006-09-20 16:15:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
bet her that diamond neclace she has her eye on that if you kick them out, they won't kill themselves. it's win/win.
2006-09-20 16:13:57 · answer #10 · answered by wilsonmj1123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋