My 13 year old has started getting very interested in guys, is she too young to be thinking about this? i dont know, as she is a young lady and i think she should be able to go out on dates but is she too young to actually have a steady boyfriend?
2006-09-20 09:09:52 · 54 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
no
its not to young !!! personally speaking you -can let her date but just make sure the guy is decent enough !!! i am going out with someone who is a total gentel man we did go out on dates when we were thirteen but they were always time deadlines and my mom knew where we were going !! BUT it doesnt a-lways be this way , i have seen my freinds tota-lly mess themselves up by going out on 'secret dates' with guys who used to be the ones to persuade them they always used to get caught and used to lose the trust of their families and eventually lose the guy !! i think its ok to let her date as long as its a decent boy with her and your daughter isnt the rebelious type either !! and as long as you know where they are going and the place is safe and nearby cause right now it isnt exactly the age in which they will be able to totally handle themselves on their own !! if u do that it will all be fine !
2006-09-20 23:42:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that since she is going to be interested no matter what you do, then it is okay. If you are not okay with it and willing to comprimise with her, she is just going to sneak around behind your back to do it anyway.
I think that a good comprimise would be to allow her to have a boyfriend but only one that she sees at school, and maybe talks on the phone to for a bit once in a while. Set boundries now, that way she will know what you approve of and hopefully will not try to push it too much farther than that for a while. Set an age when she can start having the boy come over for a visit when you are home with them. Then from there you could set an age when she can go on dates alone. Hopefully this will teach her that she should take things slow and know that there are some things that are okay at some ages, and others need to wait a few more years.
I also suggest that when she expresses an interest in a boy then be excited for her about it. She is very excited and she is going to want to talk to the people she knows are happy for her and are intersted. So make sure that you talk to her about it and ask her questions, like you really want to know. Don't 'drill' her for stuff, just sorta ask things about the information she is already volunteering. This way she will feel more comfortable with telling you details of what is going on. This will be especially helpful when she needs some advice or maybe is thinking about getting more serious with a boy. It's a really important thing to prepare for.
2006-09-20 09:17:57 · answer #2 · answered by eatme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't encourage her to do this. Relationships eat up so much of a young girl's energy; does he like me/what did I say or do wrong/what should I wear/should I let him do this or that. To young boys it's just a game of how can I get some sex. Your daughter has all her potential inside her - if she can just stay focused on getting some education at this time, she can be a fine young woman in control of her destiny. All you need to do is buy her some time, so that when she has her future secure, she'll be in a position to pick a boy who values her. I know this sounds daft, but encourage every interest she has - except boys. An interest in something like horseriding or dancing can buy a few precious years for a young girl before she has to get on the pregnancy/ contraception/ he loves me/he loves me not merrygoround. Have bigger dreams for her and she might just start having them for herself. I'm a mum of four girls. I came out of a council estate from a severely dysfunctional background. One of my girls is a law student,one a trainee teacher and the others are still at school.
2006-09-20 09:33:15 · answer #3 · answered by Frankie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Invite him to your house but let them have some time together. Perhaps they could help each other with their home work.
When she goes out lay down some ground rules and make sure she abides by them . She is still a minor and you have her best interests at heart, so if she gets a bit stroppy with the rule thing remind her that she is a minor and that her education should be her main concern..but that should still have fun at the same time.
She will thank you for the discipline and respect you have shown her when she gets older.
2006-09-20 09:29:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends how old the boyfriend is...if he is of a similar age then hey let it be, monitor it very closely, ask lots of questions, and also maybe the 'birds and the bee's' chat will help. You have to be quite graphic with that kind of thing tho to put off young people! Make sure you know all there is to know about the boyfriend. It probably nothing more than a crush...
2006-09-20 09:15:08 · answer #5 · answered by ADAM M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i am 12 years old and, to say the truth, i have a bf and i'm doing just fine! i don't see a reson why not to because i think it's a way to be happy to be with someone that loves you...although be careful because i broke up with me ex a few weeks ago and it's still painful so if your daughter breaks up or has problems, show her that you are a good mum and motivate her and let her cry on your shoulder whenever she needs. i think that's the way to be the best mom ever! plus, let her go out on dates wit her boyfriend, i think it's vital...talking on the phone and meeting up in school is not enough...good luck!
EDIT: i started dating guys since i was 11
2006-09-21 02:19:46 · answer #6 · answered by KK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WAY too young! Too young to go on dates, too young to have boyfriends, too young to even be thinking about any of that. Be a responsible parent and don't let her mess with things she has no way of knowing anything about.
2006-09-20 21:21:16 · answer #7 · answered by Liz 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not too young. It'll give her an idea of whats ahead, what kinda guys she should be going for.
I woulda killed for a boyfriend at that age, guys just weren't interested.
For a steady boyfriend maybe too young, but just at that age they aren't steady.
I say let her live
2006-09-20 09:43:14 · answer #8 · answered by sparkle 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I personally would not let her date. If you are going to let her date make sure she knows the facts of life and the consequences before she walks out the door. To many kids on this site saying i am 13 and I think I am pregnant. My 12 year old will not be dating for sometime.
2006-09-20 09:12:58 · answer #9 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes it is alright for a 13 year old girl to have a steady boyfriend. But yes you should meet him and let them hang out at your house. Let her know that she can come to you to talk about anything.
2006-09-20 11:49:23 · answer #10 · answered by Alicia S 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋