Older man please answer if this really happens, IS MY HUSBAND'S FRIEND FLIRTING?

Question

My husban and this guy have been friends way long before I met my husband. This person is a very serious man, and I don't know if he is flirting with me. Are this signs of flirting? I am not a flirt. My husband has always had a very bad and some how violent tempe, and I afraid if one day I have to tell him, he'll not take it slightly coming from his long time friend.

Here are some of the things this person does. I cought him staring at me a lot of times, he tried to get closer to me every time he thought he had a chance, he made a kid of cute coment refering to me, stayed away from his wife while they both visited us, and lastly, we went shoping toguether with him and his wife, he called from outside the store just to tell me that he was outside and that his wife was still in the store. IS HE FLIRTING WITH ME?

Answer 1

I don't think the question is that he is flirting with you...that's undeniable...what you really want to ask is what to do about it. Well, what do you want to do about it? It might be a game, just say that he is flirting with you with both your spouses there and see how they react...Maybe his marriage is on the out and he is testing his skill. Maybe it is a game he is playing, so take it to another level and see if he balks...you can always tell your husband privately but I would put the question in front of everyone and see if he laughs it off or he one ups you. Then you'll know.

Answer 2

Yes most likely. Friendship usually doesn't win out over the penis for men. If your husband and this guy have been friends long enough HE should recognize what the guy is up to, he's seen him do it before. When he called you the phone should have been handed to your husband....honey your friend is calling?? (with a puzzled look on your face).

You simply tell the guy to back off or you will tell your husband AND his wife...THE END, (I've been there and used this exact tactic and it worked like a charm, he's a snake but he's not willing to risk his face and his marriage, he'll just go be a snake with some other girl) he won't risk it he'll behave himself in the future and you will avoid any possibility that he can defend himself by saying that YOU encouraged, enjoyed or didn't bother to stop his advances, also you will make your position to him perfectly clear (that there is not a chance that anything will ever happen). You could also tell your husband that nothing specific happened but that being around the guy just kind of gives you the creeps, you 'feel' like he might be staring at you (as opposed to I have caught him doing it many times) and your husband may just cut back on your exposure to this guy, without any big fight or confrontation, after all its 'just a feeling you have'. Good luck.

Answer 3

Sounds to me as though he may be fantasizing about you, which is why he is flirting with you. Remember, it all starts in the eyes, filters into the mind which leads to actions-which is what he's doing now. If you have a strong intuition about him flirting with you, and if you definitely feel uncomfortable, do not wait, but do find the right time to confront him. If and when you do confront him, be straightforward and direct as well as courteous. Tell him exactly what you see him doing and then let him know his actions are inappropriate, disrespectful and unacceptable. He is disrespecting you as well as his friend-your husband. Even if he denies it, which he might, let him know anyway. He needs to stop his behavior. Do not procrastinate in telling him because if you do, he will think that the "green light" is still on and he may interpret it, as if you enjoy his actions. top it now before he gets out hand. You'll thank yourself for it later and so will your husband. If the man continues to flirt with you, then you should let your husband know, but plan ahead as to the setting/place, make sure he's calm & relaxed-timing is everyting. However, if you do enjoy the attention the man is giving you, then, maybe you need to take a closer look at your marriage and ask yourself if your marriage is lacking something.

Answer 4

First of all, you are in a violent relationship with the man you married. To stay is dangerous. You need to address that issue. You never stated your age or how long you have been in this marriage.
Second, yes, this guy is doing more than flirting with you and you enjoy his company. Think about his wife and family. All this cellphone play is nuts. When your husband opens your cell phone bill and sees calls from him to you, you can bet you'd better be out of that house. You never said if you have children or not. Open your eyes and get some professional help.

Answer 5

I wouldnt call this flirting but a strong attempt to try to get you to have an affair with him. YOU need to tell your husband these things. When you do be calm about it though. Just say Honey i want to talk to you about your friend. Tell him i feel uncomfortable around him bc of these things. I dont want to assume that He is doing this to make problems but at the same time that is how it feels to me. what to do you think about it? This is how i approach my husband when i feel that one of his friends are coming across in ways that are inaprioate. It helps my husband to take it in a more calm matter if i am calm about it. Good luck and just keep away from this Guy if your husband isnt around.

Answer 6

Could be or could be not. People stare at other attractive people, even if they have no intention of trying to get together with them. I have a friend and his girlfriend had such a symmetrical face and body that I just had to stare. Psychology has shown that this is natural, a baby will stare more at a more symmetrical face. That fits with the getting closer thing too. The other stuff (and that previous stuff too) just sounds like he is immature. But again, thats simply speculation.

Answer 7

Sounds like it. I would avoid being alone around him to avoid any confrontations and the next time it happens I would call him on it and tell him that if he does not stop flirting with you that you will tell your husband. I would tread lightly though and choose how to confront your husband if you decide to tell him. I would start with how uncomfortable that his friend makes you feel at times and tell him why. But only do this if it does not stop and good luck to you.

Answer 8

I think you are flirting with him as well... or you might give him the impression that you're somehow interested. Men are not stupid. You are definitely giving him some signs or he wouldn't act this way...
My advise "stay the hell away from him" he is married and this is going to cause many problems if you allow this to carry on. Pull him aside and tell him to knock it off.

Answer 9

Sounds like he's got an attraction to you. I don't know you or your husband, so i cannot tell you what to do,sounds like he isn't happy with his relationship and he might be trying to connect with you bc you are his bud's girl. I wish i could tell you what to do, my hubby and i talk even though he has a temper...if your THAT uncomfertable, that would be the way to go...maybe your hubby can figure out whats wrong with him, or maybe you can talk to him yourself...upp to you, but i think he is flirting and he chose you bc of who you are with, he probaly thinks they have a lot of common interests and attractions.... Sorry i couldn't give you a surefire answer or solution.

Answer 10

Yes, he definitely is flirting. What you need to do is stop seeing him so much. Because if u keep seeing him, then it will just get worse. If u really love ur husband then just ignore that guy. It is not worth losing you're marriage.