I'm never shy when I'm with my friends, but when it comes to classroom discussions/debates I rarely speak up. I usually have something to say, but I rarely ever do it. I'm a high school student as well so it would be great if you'd know some ways to build strong relationships with your teachers (ex. for college recommendations). Thanks! (I'm shy in large groups most of the time)
2006-09-20 08:28:29 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It's hard to be a shy person and hear all this advice about "just having to overcome it" when the fact is that nobody just overcomes a big fear all at once. If somebody has a phobia of spiders, you put a spider in a cage 20 feet away, then 15, then 10, then 9 and so on. In this case, you need to start in the same way....as far away from the fear as possible but still in the same ballpark...and work your way towards the ultimate goal. Some others suggested it and it is a good idea: stop and talk to the teacher after class about something - anything. The point is just to get the teacher to recognize your face. It has been shown in studies that kids who go see their teachers at some point during the year do better in school. Right off the bat you're talking with an imporant figure in the class and they know you. It is also more likely that you will be called on more by the teacher, because frequently teachers bias themselves to call on students they know better (sad but true). That should be your next step. Answer a question in class posed by the teacher. To prepare for this first step, what I suggest you do is know the material for that day REALLY well and pick a class you're really good at. This will give you complete confidence in a correct answer. What you're dealing with here at the core is a fear of being rejected or embarrassed by failure. This is something that you must gradually overcome and it happens to many people. Once you prove to yourself that you can answer a question correctly in class, practice this a couple more times. When you are ready, move on to just asking simple general questions (what should we study for the test?) just to make yourself heard. Eventually, you may want to try doing something completely out of the ordinary. This part I may just do if you feel up to it, but try giving a wrong answer to a really hard question on purpose. The reason is that you know it's wrong anyway so your reaction the experience will merely be a test of what would actually happen if you were wrong. Inside you would know it wasn't really you being wrong but it will show you that nothing ACTUALLY happens. The teacher redirects you and the class moves on.
If you don't like the idea of moving in steps, you can always just "jump right into the pool" so to speak and just give it a shot one day - raise your hand, close your eyes and when you get called on just say what you're thinking. Either way, once you get over your fears, the doors really open up for you - trust me. In college you are asked to speak a lot, not just in your seat but in front of the class. Getting used to this is important and even more so when you get a job. But there is really nothing to be afraid of as long as you are confident and however you get there...good luck!
2006-09-20 13:23:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to be shy in highschool, but then from college onward I often couldn't be shut up if I liked the content. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that its your education and you're not being proactive about it you're not getting the most out of it. Additionally in college participation isn't looked down upon by your peers at all.
Additionally according to the socratic method (the primary method of teaching non-hard science courses), there aren't really any 'wrong' ideas, per se, and the more ideas that get airtime the better the quality of the discussion, typically.
I'd say if you're too shy to speak up in class write down some questions or observations and stop by after class and talk with them. This happens so infrequently that I'd imagine you'll gain their respect and support in no time.
2006-09-20 08:34:07 · answer #2 · answered by midwestbruin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey...I recommened you try this...it worked with me and lot of my friends. We feel shy or nervous when we are overly conscious about ourselves or have a subconscious fera of other making fun of us or our ideas not being accepted by large etc. What i do to get over such situation is before i face the crowd, i look at them for few seconds, take deep breaths, close my eyes and " imagine the whole group in a funny situation"..yes, thats right...for example : you are speaking in front of the whole class, imagine the guys wearing a tie and underwear only with reading glasses and girls with funny dresses and two ponytalis in different directions....something or the other that makes you laugh..keep reminding yourself this secne every now n then while you're talking. It should be something that makes you smile and make you feel better than others. the fear or shyness will go away the moment you feel good about yourself...
mind you...it's all in the brains...what we are and what we can be....
Good luck
2006-09-20 08:43:22 · answer #3 · answered by Sapna A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi everyone ,if anyone else wants to learn about tips on how to overcome shyness try Revarna Shyness Roadmap (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now ) ? Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my mate got great results with it.
2014-12-04 15:42:16 · answer #4 · answered by Mohammad 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi :)
I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm perfectly fine with my friends and I actually do stage work w/ lots of crowd interaction *Renaissance Faire and Rocky Horror mainly* , so that doesn't bug me. What freaks me is more like individual one on one conversations w/ people I don't know..go figure. I just try to pretend I know them and that usually loosens me up. I know it's tough but if you just say something every now and then it should eventually get better..it works for me.
Good Luck..hope I was even a little bit helpful :D
2006-09-20 08:36:02 · answer #5 · answered by starikotasukinomiko 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that other people truly want to hear what you have to say. If it comes out sounding stupid, they will laugh and then forget about it a few minutes later. Lots of people say stupid things all the time, its nothing new, so don't worry about it. I know this is hard in high school, but when you get older, you will realize this. I wish I had found this out sooner, because like you, I was shy in high school.
2006-09-20 08:36:02 · answer #6 · answered by Joy22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Imagine a big fish floating above their head and waving at you. OK that was a joke.. but it could work I used to be shy as well.. There is no quick fix really... I went to a drama group for ages which proper improved my confidence, cos I could just pretend, and I got into the habit of being confident. Another thing that boosts confidence is pulling on holiday. You just have to think "never going to see them again, so even if i make an *** of myself, it won't matter" Worked for me :) xx
2016-03-17 23:18:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i have seen this kind of problem in a lot of students. some people may advice you to become more confident. but building confidence is not so easy.
one method of talking in front of mirror suggested by an answerer is good.
other methods can be increase your subject knowledge that will help you gain confidence.
lastly i would like to say don't hesitate to talk in groups because all people are made of bones and flesh so they don't have very specific different from others.
best of luck.
2006-09-20 08:41:04 · answer #8 · answered by flori 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit in the front row of the classroom, and whenever you know the answer, raise your hand.
Find someone who was in the same teacher's same class last year, and ask him or her if there was an opportunity for extra credit -- and if there was, start on your extra credit project.
Go and see the teacher after school, and tell him or her that you're interested in the subject and enjoying the class.
2006-09-20 09:15:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OH!!! I am so same way!!! I am fine when talk to friends but i get real shy if boy talk to me or if im with people i not know. I dont like speak up much in class and i dont talk very loud when i get call on in class and teachers say speak up. I always worry in class i will say something dumb but if you have something say maybe try to say it and keep doing it might help. Good Luck K?
2006-09-20 08:34:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋