My husband filed for a divorce after we have been together for 12 years. I was only 17 when I met him, and now we have a one year old child together. I still love him and want to be married to him but obviously I need to move on. How do you move on when you still love that person?
2006-09-20 08:22:09 · 33 answers · asked by golden2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you have to grieve for your loss love just the way you would if a loved one had died. Grief helps us to understand that something has come to an end and it's time to move on. It's OK to cry, eat a pint of ice cream or something harmless to get it out of your system. Tears can be very cleansing. At the same time, try keeping yourself busy, meet new people, form new friendships. Old friends are great, but you may need new friends that won't remind you of him every time you talk to them or see them. It's never easy trying to start over, but I guess the bottom line is you have to start making a new life for yourself. I wish you much luck and hope things work out well for you and your little one.
2006-09-20 08:30:28 · answer #1 · answered by stormywthr64 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So many times, when a couple breaks up and time starts to go by, one or both begin to miss each other by remember only what made that relationship special. When you find yourself doing this, change your thought process to remember the bad things that caused the relationship to fail. A person is only as good as their worse moment and when you remember the things that the person did to hurt you, it will help you get over him a lot quicker. Because it is time to move on to a better life and lifestyle, you should get rid of anything that reminds you of your past relationship. If you cant bring yourself to shred and throw away cards, letters, etc. then at least put them all in a box and send them away to storage. You are about to become a better person and don't need things that will handicap your process.Take some time to improve yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually, if desired. Once you've made great strides, hit the dating circuit again. When you get into a new, great, and rewarding relationship you'll be amazed at how easy it is to forget the past. But while looking for that special someone, keep sticking to your goals and improvement plan. Be happy with who you are and where you are going.
2006-09-20 09:02:46 · answer #2 · answered by curiosa26 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a difficult but not impossible task ahead of you. Rule #1. Don't go it alone! Be sure to use family, friends, clergy, etc. It will make your ordeal much easier when you have people to talk to and you will get through it faster. But it will take time. Time is a key here and you must realize your feelings won't go away overnight. #2. Occupy yourself with hobbies, old and new while you adjust. Don't let yourself be alone more than you need to as you may get more depressed. And realize,,,your life isn't over or going to be loveless,,,it's only a temporary situation. A lot of us have been there, some more than once! But you can get through it. Every day it will get just a little easier, and it will feel like you take 3 steps forward and 2 back. But that's okay. Just don't go it ALONE! Good Luck
2006-09-20 08:42:21 · answer #3 · answered by shaprice1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might love him, don't think about it too hard, but can it be possible that you are just afraid of change? I know a lot of people who hate the guy that they were with or found themselves wanting to be with other people, but didn't do anything about it because they didn't want things to change. If you love him, then there's nothing you can do. And while you can't make him love you, you sure can get another guy's attention. As time passes your life with become whole again and you will heal, but still hurt...so try to take your kid to a neighborhood park or library, so that you can get out more. Hopefully you will meet Mr. Perfect (who will never leave) Good Luck:)
2006-09-20 08:37:26 · answer #4 · answered by josiedickelman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to focus on you and your child. Its hard after so long, I too was married at 12 years and found myself with two small children to raise. I found for me that the more I would focus on the bad things he use to say, or the things he would do to piss me off that I could stop with the dwelling on what all went wrong, what if this and what if that...You have to realize that you are not going back and to look forward to the new in front of you. Make it a better one for you and your child. It will take time but you have it in you to do it. Good Luck
2006-09-20 08:28:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes time. Find something you like doing, staying busy helps.
Get involved with a divorced group. Single parent without partners
that is a good one.Go back to school. Taking fun classes is also
a way of keeping busy. All these thing also gets you out in the world., and who knows you might meet someone new. All these
things will help you grow.
good luck
2006-09-20 08:38:35 · answer #6 · answered by wHaT eVeR 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been divorced and have now remarried. What I did was join the singles ministry in my church. I was searching for meaningful friendships with other people who I might have some things in common with. This really got me through. I ended up really getting out and having a good time. The friendships were very healing for me. The pain took some time but eventually I was able to deal with it in a positive way.
2006-09-20 08:27:52 · answer #7 · answered by Tonya P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You concentrate on the child. Love will find you one day again. When you still love a person, makes things truly difficult. It's just simply going to take some time. Good luck
2006-09-20 08:24:31 · answer #8 · answered by Mother of One 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Falling in love so young makes it even harder to move on because u give ur heart so easily and truely. The best thing for u to do is to start going out with friends and try meeting other people. Take ur son to the park and do things with him also. Try to keep ur self busy and not think of him. I know that is hard, but it will get easier and someday u will meet another man that u can give ur heart to. Just take it slow.
2006-09-20 08:40:26 · answer #9 · answered by nonnaluv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Just remember your husband file for it, there must be some reason why he did it, If he can just up's and leave you Why are you worring about him......I know it's Harsh but it's life, you meet all type of people. Don't worry you have a child to take care of let that be your main focus.
Good Luck!
2006-09-20 08:27:22 · answer #10 · answered by *Cutie* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋